Go and Do Likewise

Rev. Mom

2012-01-18T15:37:00.003-04:00

I'm wondering how long it will take the mainline church to have a paradigm shift regarding its pastors. Even after 50 years (in my denomination anyway) of women being pastors, we still don't seem to know what to do with pastors who are also mothers. Now, that may be due to the fact that most of the first women pastors were older, second career pastors. Children were grown and gone for the most part.
But now, now there are young women both single and married in parishes, and lots of us are moms. Well, you might say, lots of the males were/are dads, what's the difference? Uh, just go back under your rock now, please.
The differences are several, in fact. Traditionally, dads, pastors or not, are not the primary care givers. That is changing more and more, but not until the last 10-15 years or so even. That meant that, traditionally, pastor dads could expect to leave the kids with mom and go to evening meetings, take week long trips to conferences, do evening visits, and even drop everything for an emergency because more often than not, mom is not working! Though it is rare, my spouse does travel for work, if I were to have a middle of the night emergency call while he was out of town, I'd be in a pickle. But churches don't really think about that, they just want you there when they are in crisis.
Which also brings up the two-income family matter. This applies to moms or dads being pastor, actually, and may be the heart of the matter one way or the other. Churches are not used to having their pastor say, "I can't make that women's group meeting, I can't get a babysitter." My experience is that the paradigm of the at-home partner (read: "pastor's wife") is well and truly entrenched in the parishioners minds and the idea that the pastor can't just leave the kids at home with the spouse is completely alien--still!
I actually had a confrontation with a parishioner once when I tried to explain that finding a babysitter was not always an affordable option. She snapped back that she knew what I made, implying that it should not be a problem. Well, it is. Do I have a decent income? yes. In fact, so does my spouse. However, we still have grad school debt, debt from medical bills, a mortgage, car payments, bills, bills and more bills, and the normal costs associated with raising two beautiful little girls. The woman is, of course, of the generation where women were always at home with the children while daddy worked. I did not inform her of our financial situation, but I gently reminded her that with both my husband and I working full time, our situation was not the same as the one she experienced as a mother.
It's interesting how the paradigm of "pastor" just won't go away. I've been stretching the boundaries though, since I've been in this congregation. I restrict my office hours to the hours my oldest is in school (9-3). I do the rest of my work on my laptop while she does homework. I encourage people to call ahead and set a time to come by, not just drop in (though now that we have an admin, it's not such a problem. At least the door isn't locked.) If I absolutely have to, my daughter comes with me to the office armed with videos and puzzles, etc., and hangs out in the church library.
I know several of my colleagues who deal with this. One of my closest friends is going through a separation--her spouse is also clergy. They have a son a little younger than my older girl. I know that singlehood will make childcare even harder--I wish we lived closer. Will her church be more understanding? Will they resent the demands of parenting that take away from her time at church? I will be interested to see, and pray for the best outcome.
At the end of all this, I have to say that most of the members of my church have actually been as helpful as they can be, offering to watch the children when I was in a bind or whatever else was needed for the situation. But one last observation is that it has been very generational, with the most elderly seeming to be the least forgiving of motherhood vs. occupational demands. My theories as to why, I will save for another post...

Sorry, Wrong Number

2012-01-11T10:38:00.001-04:00

The texts for this week (Epiphany 2B) are all about call. As someone who professes to be 'called' to her profession, I find these texts both wonderful and difficult to deal with. I was recently helping a sister church through their long-range visioning process so that they could come up with a new vision statement. But it turns out that the leaders of that church had a problem seeing beyond the "now". The vision statement they churned out was a description of the way they are now, not what they hope to be in the future (or at least I assume they don't hope to be stagnant and unchanged in the next ten or fifteen year) especially in light of the fact that their pastor of 33 years is retiring in a few months. So as much as I pushed them to consider "What is God calling us to be and do?" it still seemed like their own agenda (that is, "we like us now and don't try to change us") ended up as the vision. But of course, that's only my take on it.So how DO we know what is God's call and what is our agenda? My denomination has a long process for those who want to enter the ministry. We have a committee that helps to guide candidates, and we expect their home churches to help as well. As the newly appointed chair of my presbytery's Committee on Preparation for Ministry (CPM), I feel particularly drawn to that question right now. How do we help these candidates know what is God's call and what is, say, their mother's dream pushed onto them? Well, for one, that is why we do this sort of thing in groups. We pray, we discern, we pray some more and we work through this process because, well, it does work. I have seen people who eventually discerned that their 'call' was really something that someone else had dreamed for them, not God. Then again, I've seen plenty of people do the exact opposite. "No, no, that's not God, that's coincidence," they'll say. Who says God can't work through coincidences? It was the same for Samuel; he needed Eli to guide him through the call process. "If you hear God's voice again, Samuel, this is what you need to say," goes the instruction. And so with that guidance, Samuel becomes a prophet for the people of Israel. What might God be calling us to be and do, that we could discern with just a little guidance from colleagues, friends, an intentional prayer group, etc.? Who is your Eli?

Randomness to catch up

2011-12-16T10:43:00.003-04:00

I've never claimed to be good at blogging. It gets away from me with all the other writing I seem to need to get done. I keep saying I want it to be a discipline and maybe I'll get around to it, but disciplines aren't really my thing. I'm the free-spirit creative type. Probably means I need the discipline, but then, I'm not going to claim that I'm good at doing what I need either.
This Advent has been a particularly good one here. I was able to get things done ahead, both at work and at home, I'm glad to say. The joy of less stress is one of the best gifts for this time of year.
I realized the other day that I'm craving some radicality in my life these days. I'm not talking sky-diving or anything, but just some change that might actually help usher in the kingdom. I'm seeing these amazing churches that actually change the way that people see and do things. I want to be a part of one of those, help lead people to news ways of thinking and believing. Right now I feel in a bit of a rut. The church I lead now is not interested in becoming more than they are, even in good ways. It is in survival mode, as are many churches these days. Human capital is at a premium and when we try to start something new, it usually gets hailed as a great idea, but then falls by the wayside when no one wants to actually work to get it off the ground or keep it going.
In other news, we did get that admin!! I realize now just how much of my time was spent doing clerical work. I feel like I'm able to devote so much more time to pastoral duties, and I think my sermons are even doing better as I don't have to put them off to the last minute as often.
That's where I am...

Spiritual but not Religious

2011-06-03T21:04:00.004-04:00

That's such garbage in my opinion. Well, at least a cop out. I will forever stand firm that we cannot truly worship outside of community, at least not in a fulfilling way that enhances our relationship to God. God created humans to live and work and worship together, not as solitary beings. We learn more about God as we learn more about one another.
What got me thinking about this was reading a travel blog of a friend who took a month to travel to Iona, Scotland and then around other parts of Scotland and England. All of Europe is said to be increasingly less and less 'religious,' so I don't know if my friend just attracts out-of-the-ordinary people, or if what is really true is that they are distrustful of organized religion, yet deeply spiritual. I'd say the latter, knowing the deeply spiritual roots of the British Isles--the Celts and Druids, etc.
Yet I feel our country is going in the opposite direction. We seem to cling to our doctrines and dogmas, but there is no heart to them, or any soul. Scripture has become a bludgeon with which to pound the opposition into oblivion. How did we get here? How can we recover a sense of mystery and wonder that should go hand in hand with worship? I hope I can get back to you on that...

un-holy week

2011-04-21T14:09:00.003-04:00

It's holy week and that means crunch time. With Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and 2 services on Sunday, it gets a little crazy. Plus somewhere in there I have to dye eggs with the kids and get the Easter baskets ready (yeah, the easter bunny comes to the pastor's house... what of it?)
Thankfully, the duties of three of those 4 services are shared. Still, it is a lot to have to be prepared for. I find being "on" in front of so many folks very emotionally and physically draining. Even as an extrovert. Still, I have been known to have some rather un-holy thoughts about holy week. Wishing it were over, shorter, fewer events.

Might I just add that having spring break this week... doesn't. help. one. bit.

Ok, so I've got all that off my chest. What's really been on my mind lately is all the back and forth energy going on in the church right now. The session has lots of positive stuff going on--they're really on board with some changes that need to be made, yet they let themselves get all in a dither about what the congregation will say. Ok, I know we want to be transparent and maybe even compassionate in our change-making processes. But when we let ourselves get all worked up about what people will say and think and will that make them stop giving... well, being enthusiastic about changes is great, but not if you can't follow up on them for fear of what other people will do.
It's a bizarre dicotome. At the last session meeting, everyone on the session was convinced and excited that we did in fact need to hire a part time admin. asst. Not just for me, but for all the leadership in the church, as a way to take the busy work off our hands so that the leadership can focus on the leading part of their work. The motion to hire was on the table. Then came the discussion. People began to fret about how we present this idea to the congregation, aware that money is a huge pink elephant in our church. And how, of course, the ones who are the most vocal, negatively, about spending are the ones who don't tithe and won't up their pledges from what they started with 30 years ago. But I digress. So we talked round and round and finally tabled the motion. Basically, we got nowhere. Yes, the session thinks it's a great idea, but how do we convince everyone else? They'll say it's already getting done, so why pay someone else to do it? (BTW, *I'm* the current secretary--this is not working out well in many regards)
It's going to test my patience, I have no doubt. I think it will get done, maybe even in this calendar year, but not by much.
So let's just say that that whole big presentation on risk taking that we heard at the last retreat--yeah, maybe it's time to pull that back out again.

keeping it real

2011-04-04T08:34:00.002-04:00

My real thought for today is that I'm ready for lent and easter to be over. It sorta ruins my spring. yeah, really. I know, that's not a nice thing to say, but it's at least partly true. I wind up getting so overwhelmed with both church and home responsibilities that it just saps me. This year hasn't been as bad since we're doing things just a little differently at church, celebrating the Six Great Ends of the Church, one each Sunday in Lent. We've gotten a set of banners and are dedicating one each week. They are just beautiful and really make the space come alive.
I questioned the idea of adding color during lent, since usually it's a time of well, I'll just say it, deprivation and denial. But really, Lent is meant to be a time of preparation for easter. Sure, the meatless fridays and goodie-less six weeks have become the hallmark of the season, but seriously, I just don't see how that helps most people. It seems mostly empty to me in most instances.
I think that this series has indeed helped us to prepare ourselves for Easter. I think having joy during Lent, if it's correctly directed, can be a great tool.
TBTG!

Unbalanced

2011-01-19T12:08:00.003-04:00

In my last post I talked about teetering on the edge of the cliff. After our most recent leadership retreat, I have the feeling that we are beginning to finally lose our footing on the top up there. Our leaders are ready, or so they say, to take the plunge and do some of the changes we've only thus far talked about. Awesome! I just hope they're also ready for the fallout that will come with. I hope that I can prepare them well enough to stand their ground when it feels like its falling out from under us.
We are a group that works well together and spends plenty of time in healthy, spiritual discernment. Honestly, I truly look forward to taking this plunge with them. It's something of an adventure, really.
As for myself, I still struggle daily with making church and worship relevant to all who step in our doors, from my own 6 year old who bounds down the aisle, to the eighty-six year old who teeters in on a walker each week. There are so many people 'out there' who are looking for something, but they don't know where to find it. How can we offer it to them? How can we keep our own integrity in tact at the same time? I try really hard not to fall prey to the books and programs that claim to have all the answers. Most of them are out-of-date before they even get printed. Mostly, I feel challenged to motivate my congregation to find their identity in this changing landscape. Figure out who we are and if it meshes with who we want to be, and if not, make it do so. Ah, it sounds so easy...

On the Edge

2010-11-12T23:25:00.002-04:00

I've been struggling a lot lately with what I guess I'll call "the church on the edge." It's nothing new. But being relatively new to this line of work, it's not something I've had to deal with first hand.
The church is balancing on the edge of a cliff, I think. At the top of this cliff is a baren wasteland. A dry, tumbleweed-strewn, dust-blown landscape--dead or nearly. At the bottom, a verdant landscape, lush, maybe a lazy river snaking through, trees, animals, you get the picture.
But back at the top, this church--The Church?--has to decide if it has the guts to step off that cliff. 'Cuz baby, it's a long damn way to the bottom. The ride will be bumpy and we might get a little bruised and even a bit broken on the way.
My congregation has a lot of elderly folks, but we also have a few younger families with young kids. It's a really, REALLY hard balancing act to find ways of worship that are relevant and inspiring across the board. My own six year old has no qualms about telling me how boring she finds 'church' (read 'worship') to be. Hell, I'm starting to find it boring and I'm the one who puts it together! I actually threw the hymnal across the room because I was tired of looking at hymns with archaic words (thee, thou, ye, etc.) and stodgy tunes--and it was the one published in 1990!
And here's where I have to steel my own nerves. Do I have the guts to push my own church over the edge down that cliff? So far, not yet, but I think I'm getting closer. The church, as a whole, is balanced on the edge of that cliff. For the most part, churches are in a nimble dance to keep it balanced there. Maybe they just need someone strong enough to give a good push to send them over the edge.
Yes, as I said, they may get a little bruised and battered on the way down, but damn if it won't be worth the trip!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

2010-11-04T15:58:00.003-04:00

I hate to admit it, but I play favorites. I should love all seasons of the church year equally and treat them the same, I know. But I just can't help it--I love Advent best. Honestly, it doesn't have that much to do with Christmas itself. I just love the expectant waiting. I happen to be one of those sorts who actually enjoys anticipation. I love writing the Advent candle lighting liturgy. I love the advent carols, some even more than the Christmas ones. I love getting the Advent calendars for the girls in the mail and...
well, ok, I love some of the secular stuff too. I admit that getting to bake the Christmas cookies and a joy for me. I do like to decorate for the holidays with evergreens from the backyard and the glow of candles on every (high, out of reach of small children) surface. We're not traveling this year so it'll be a much quieter, calmer experience since we won't be getting ready for both Christmas and traveling.
So, yeah, I play favorites. It's just how I roll.

Shifting

2010-08-16T16:39:00.003-04:00

We are approaching our annual leadership retreat for the church this weekend. Myself and a few other 'visionary' leaders are aiming to begin what I am sure will be a long and sometimes painful process of transformation. A transformation from an inward focused congregation to an outward focused congregation.
I've done lots of reading on congregational transformation. It's not always a nice thing. Many people (usually older) resist the change because they like church to be all about them. The church is there to care for them and their needs and to make them feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, I have yet to see any evidence of this being a biblical model of church.
So often we forget that we have been called to "go and make disciples of all nations" and that the way of Christ is not always easy. Christ's way is a way of service and compassion--two things I see many mainline churches sadly lacking. Sure, we have compassion for each other, our own members--but not for those outside our walls, the ones truly hurting and in need.
This is a total paradigm shift from the church of the 1950's era. This is the church model I'm fighting against. A model that allowed church to be on par with a social club like Rotary or Lions club. A model that saw church as a place to see and be seen, a place that you went because that's 'what nice people do.' A model that even had a dress code or you weren't allowed in.
That's a lot to go up against. I'm glad I have a few folks who are interested in and committed to fighting this battle with me. As one of them put it, "we're turning a barge around in a ditch." Yep. That's about right. Pray for us, k?

On Being of the Female Persuasion and in the Ministry

2010-06-14T21:44:00.005-04:00

Being a woman in the ministry is something that I didn't worry too much about when I came here, even though I was the first woman that this congregation had ever had. I was more concerned about my age--more specifically, my age compared to the average age of this congregation (and the denomination as a whole).
Over at RGBP this past week, there was a post on what to look out for being the first woman pastor of a congregation. It got me thinking of the challenges that I have faced over the past two and a half years. Honestly, most of them aren't due to my gender. Some folks have been a little less confortable than others. I don't think we lost anyone over it, at least not that I'm aware of. But as pointed out in one of the comments to the post, I am tangling a bit now with some of the matriarch/patriarch 'dynasties' in the church. This is unraveling in several ways. Mostly it is coming about with knit-picky snipping at me for what they see me not doing to their particular liking or standards. "We've come to expect better (fill in the blank) from our pastors here," is a frequent relay.
Thankfully, I know I also have some staunch supporters who are excited about my ministry with this church and know that I care for the congregation (knit-pickers and all!) and that change is always a painful experience, especially for smaller congregations.
Probably harder than anything else is being a mom and a minister. I'm still the primary care-giver. I am thankful that my vocation allows me some flexibility to my schedule. Who says I have to sit in my office to write a sermon? I have a laptop. Starbucks, anyone? Some members believe that ministry ought to be a career like any other. 9-5, fire at will, that they as the members are my 'boss,' that sort of thing. But I have some wise lay people who reminded me that my 'contract' is actually called a 'covenant.' That is, in the sense of a marriage. I don't actually work for the church, I work for Christ--he's the boss! I was called to lead and minister to this church in the name of Christ, as his disciple. I am blessed to have wonderful colleagues and lay people to help me sort all this out and help me to realize what is actually beneath some of the knit-picking. Once I know the root, it's far more easily addressed and the lay leaders who are not part of the entrenched dynasties are wonderful at taking the leadership mantle and addressing the rest of the congregation when those sorts of critical comments would be better received that way than from me.
I am also blessed to have many wonderful female colleagues in the area. Even though I am the only woman pastor in my town, the rest of the men that I have encountered of other denominations have been very open and we have good collegial relationships. But I also know that I couldn't make it without my minister girl-friends! We are all in similar situations and it is so helpful to know that small churches are fairly predictable and I'm not going through this alone.
Still, I have been very well received by the majority of folks here in my congregation. My pillars are very good to me and help remind me why my work here is still very relevant. I know that the Spirit is moving and shaking here and we have to lead, follow, or get out of the way! TBTG!

for future reference

2010-04-15T13:24:00.006-04:00

I just hate it when I find great stuff like this after the fact (story of my life)
But I want it here so I can find it again next year!

Jinxed

2010-02-08T15:31:00.003-04:00

I'm sure I cursed myself the other day when I told someone that, with 4 in '09, surely we would be death/funeral free for at least the first half of 2010. While none of my congregation is appearing to be in eminent danger of passing, the grandfather of one of our members died over the weekend and I was asked to do the service. It won't be at the church as neither the member's parents or grandparents were religiously affiliated, but I had helped with the father's sudden passing in the summer and so was asked to come be with the family again. They've had a lot to deal with in the past 6 or 7 months. I worry that the grandmother isn't far behind either. I suppose the 'good' news is that the grandparents are both in poor health and it was not completely unexpected. I think that helps in some small way.
Personally, I like funerals. You really get to know people. The facades fade or crumble and people share their stories and memories. They are, however, quite emotionally exhausting for everyone, including the minister. But more than any other time in my ministry, I am brought up short by just how amazing and even palpable God's grace is during these difficult times. TBTG!

Lent Already?!?

2010-02-04T14:41:00.005-04:00

The last time I posted it was about Advent, now it's time for Lent! How in the heck did that happen??
It's not going to slow down anytime soon either. I have Ash Wednesday to plan, a Lenten Bible Study, the regular weekly bible study, the community Lenten services to attend--the first of which our church is hosting,as well as the normal sermons to write, oh, and a baptism coming up (that one gets a hooray!) Trying to plan when confirmation should begin (probably the fall). Hmmmm... I better quit before I get too overwhelmed. I supposed I'd rather be busy than bored though!
We had three days off school this week too, so I'm frantically trying to catch up from that. Snow, and lots of it. Not something we see much of around here and certainly not in that sort of quantity. L loved it. M was nonplussed, though that's fair since all she can do is let it hit her in the face. It was too powdery to build snowmen though, much to L's disappointment.
Can I just say, stream of conscience, that I am so excited to actually have a real, grown-up date planned with my hubby? Wow! When was the last time we did that? Can't even recall. Probably the Indigo Girls concert when I was preggo with M. Not that we could do much conversing there--no, wait there was also the Gaelic Storm concert. Again, not much conversation. So this will be a nice, sit-down dinner where we can talk about things other than the children or work. (At least I hope we still have other things to talk about!)
My work is going good though. I'm hoping we can be funeral free for a while. I don't see any immanent, but you never know. The only thing I wish is that we had some more self-starters in the church. I feel like I'm having to come up with all new ideas and that means it's harder to get people passionate about following through on them. I get a little jealous when I see other churches with people who start their own programs and initiatives. (Like, say, recycling--why in the world don't we do that?!)
But overall, they are good, hard-working people, and I love them. Amen.

following my own advice

2009-12-09T23:30:00.002-04:00

I preach--not just from the pulpit--every Advent about not letting the hustle and bustle of preparing our homes for the coming of Christmas supersede the preparation of our hearts for the coming of Christ. And while I can't be accused of that (our decorations consist of a garland with the stockings and a 4.5 ft. tree with lights and a few ornaments) I can be accused of trying so hard to have the services be perfect that I neglect my own devotions and time for myself to pray and just be still and know...
I have a hard time balancing what I want to do with what I have to do and what needs to be done. Bake cookies for my friends, no problem--that's fun! Take the donated coats to the neighbor church, who wants to do that? (Hint: not me)

Thanks-giving

2009-11-26T23:25:00.002-04:00

Giving thanks is easy to do when you have a lot to be thankful for. I sit here thinking about all the people who are struggling this holiday season. There are so many who are out of work, who have no home or family to go to, who are wondering if they will be able to meet the bills next month. The list goes on.
A pastor friend of mine wrote this on his FB page: "[The story of Thanksgiving: Native] people give food to dumb starving white people...white people kill them. Neat story" And my response: "...and so the white people give thanks by staying home and gorging themselves while millions in our country still starve every day."

And so perhaps not so strangely, this year, I didn't stuff myself as I have in years past. My mind was on those who wouldn't be having much if anything to eat today. I thought about the entire town near our own whose very existence is in question after the shut-down of a factory that employs nearly 1/8 of that town's population as well as quite a number of ours. What are they giving thanks for today?

And so I count my own blessings. I have a job, my spouse has a job, we are healthy, I have family that I love, I have in-laws who like me... I could fill a whole page with trivialities. But mostly I am thankful that I am able to find my security not in those things, but in my faith in God. For that, I am truly thankful.

tag: crap I'm tired...

2009-10-03T21:41:00.003-04:00

I have a tag called "crap I'm tired of" but right now, I just feel like, "Crap, I'm tired!" Baby is waking up at around 2 every night still. What dumbass said that 5-6 hours is sleeping though the night (apparently that's the AAP definition!) Yeah, sure. I had to laugh though. I thought I was being pretty low key about getting her and nursing her and going back to sleep. Turns out, I frequently talk (occasionally swear!) and toss the covers around, completely waking up P--and not having a clue I was doing any of it! I guess I was more asleep than I thought!
Both kids have been sick in the last week, both with fevers and ear infections--though L's hasn't been diagnosed yet, since she just today started to complain about the ear. May try a homeopathic drop I saw before hitting the doctor's office since she can be a bit dramatic sometimes. It may just be that her head is stuffy.
Otherwise, I'm glad that my dad is here for the weekend and next as well, and we might take an evening and drive out to the beach to visit with him and his friends and let L play in the sand.

out of focus

2009-09-21T14:35:00.002-04:00

It's amazing sometimes, the way that ministry can be viewed so differently by different people. I meet regularly with a newly formed pastor-parish relations team, a team created to help there be better communications between myself and the people in the pews, so to speak. Supposedly it is to avoid triangulation and to pass on difficulties that people don't feel they can voice in person. So, if you've already figured out that it has become a "pick on the pastor" team, you'd be right. So far, I've been told all the things I'm doing wrong, and not a single word of what I do well (and I'm sure there must be something I'm doing well!)
But what it comes out of is differing views of what a pastor should be doing. This group feels that my ministry should be primarily inward focused--HUGE amounts of pastoral care and visitation. They had a single older gentleman pastor several years ago who focused ALL his attention on the church people. "So we've come to expect that level of care from our pastors. In other words, "because we've always done it that way." Not that I don't provide PC & V. Hospital visits, shut-in and nursing home visits, calls when folks are gone for a few weeks w/out notice, calls when we have new visitors, calls when the deacons share a need, etc. I'm there!
But questions like, "do you keep a log of visits and calls? do you turn it in to anyone?" um, no and no. Am I getting a grade on this? I got the impression that they literally wanted me to go down the directory list (maybe as often as once a month!) and call every person just to say "hi!" 'Course, I assume they also want me to continue to preach, teach, and outreach.
There's the kicker--time. I ain't got that much. I realize that they have never had a young pastor with a young family. Previous pastors who made phone calls at 7 or 8 at night didn't have kids to bathe and get in bed.
So really, what's going to happen is I'm going to have to hold a "come to Jesus meeting" with this committee and hash out where I need to focus my energy. Right now, it's outward--and good things are happening in this church! There is more energy, new members are coming to join us, people are excited about ministry again. So as I type that, I wonder if some of this visitation crap isn't somewhat about fear of change. Make the pastor care for us and maybe the new people will drift off or not come at all. Hmm, something to think about.

Sermon: Tongue Lashing

2009-09-14T11:26:00.000-04:00

James 3:1-12

Commissioning Service Ideas

I was rather surprised that the verses from James were the ones that the lectionary used for the Sunday that is the kick-off for the Sunday School year for the majority of mainline denominations. What? Are they trying to scare off the few people we have who still want to teach? Here we are celebrating our teachers and James is giving them a stern lecture, warning them how careful they must be about what comes out of their mouths.

But the more I thought about it, the more it does seem appropriate. After all, Jesus has told us that it is not what goes into our mouths that defiles us, but what comes out. There are all kinds of sayings about watching your mouth so it won’t get you in trouble. And because our teachers are leaders to whom we look for example, surely they must be particularly cautious. James had obviously been having some trouble with the leaders in the congregation to whom he is writing. He is well aware that those people in positions of authority must watch what they say, because others are looking to them and trusting them as leaders.

See, words have incredible power. Pastors more than most have a deep and difficult understanding of this, I think. Yet we all face it, any time we open our mouths and let words spill out. And it’s not just the words we say, but how we say them—inflection, timing, and so on. Admittedly, that’s one reason I’m not much of a texter. Not only do you lose inflection, you even lose the vowels! Without the modulation of voice, I would worry that jests might come across as serious or sympathy as sarcastic or any number of other misunderstandings. And yet it is a powerful way of communicating for an entire generation. One teen I asked about it said that they prefer it because you can hold conversations with many people at once and that there are no awkward silences. I argue that it takes away the personal aspect, though for some I suppose that might be a draw. James knew the tongue was a dangerous body part; I wonder what he would say today about the thumbs?

In this information age, words bombard us constantly—texting, voice mail, email, advertising, radio, podcasts... But we’ve come to expect everyone to have an agenda. We expect misinformation and deceit, even from respectable and reputable sources. In fact, we only consider a source reputable and reliable if we agree with it. That is why teachers especially have to be careful in their words. We have to keep our reputation for wisdom in our words, for truth in our speech. As Paul reminds us, we are to “let no evil talk come out of [our] mouths, but only what is useful for building up.” It is the job of teachers then, to teach others how to think for themselves and discern what is evil and what is useful, what is truth and what is deceitful. It’s not simply a relaying of information to be spat back at the appropriate time. This is a foundational belief of Presbyterianism, and one that has not always been popular with the general public. There are many people who do not want to have to think about their faith. They want it in black and white, rote answers that they can indeed spit at people who do not agree with them. Their tongues become weapons, using proof-texting and verse-citing to provide evidence that they are in the right (and of course, in converse, that others are wrong.)

When we speak aloud, as James so adeptly points out, our tongues, so small in size, can create large-scale disasters. It’s a daunting thought. I can feel the sweat on my brow bead up as I go on. The tongue, so small in size, can be like the tiny spark that sets off huge forest fires in the California wilderness. A slip of the tongue, an illustration misunderstood and many of you might walk out of here with the wrong impression. And as all preachers know and fear, it is always the mistakes that are remembered. We could make the most profound revelation, but one small Freudian slip and that’s what your mind will grasp and take home. And those are the things that we cannot recall, cannot slurp back into our mouths, or call a do-over. How much worse do we make things when we try to over-explain, try to re-cast the mold even after the plaster has hardened? It only makes the mistake that much more obvious in the end.

In the recent movie ‘Doubt,’ starring Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman, Streep’s character, the principal of a Catholic parochial school, goes on a crusade to expel the popular parish priest played by Hoffman, based only on the rumors of a young idealistic fellow nun that the priest has taken a special interest in a young boy student. She takes that to mean something more than it perhaps should. Rumors are spread, lives are destroyed and words do irreparable damage. There is a scene at the end, where one of the characters is seen taking a pillowcase of feathers to a rooftop and releasing them into the wind. They represent the words that were spoken and can now never be retrieved, no matter how sorry the speaker is for saying them. At the end of the movie is Streep’s character, dour as ever saying, “I have doubts.”

How often does it seem like our tongues have minds of their own, speaking even if our minds have doubts? I remember, as an impulsive child, being reminded often to think before I spoke. We all have times when we wish we could chase down the feathers that have floated off, out of our control. Growing up in the deep south, I learned quickly that words were never to be taken at face value. So often, what might sound like a compliment, was meant to be the opposite, yet said with a syrupy sweetness that belied the gall underneath. How many of you have ever used the duplicitous phrase, “Well, bless her sweet little heart?” Yeah, you know what it means, what it really means.

James knew well that no matter how much praise you offer a person, the one harsh word spoken, even in a heated moment, will be the one remembered. He knows full well that none of us can control our speech at all times, otherwise, he says, we’d be perfect. But that is why he warns us to constantly be careful of letting our tongues wag, lest we wish we could take back the words spoken. It can both bless and curse, he says. But he also says that this is not the way it should be. Should a spring yield both fresh and brackish water? Of course not! Our language says so much about who we are inside that what comes out of us represents what is in our souls. The same is true of the church. What people hear us say, and even the way we say it, represents who we are when we are inside these walls.

Even today, the most frequent reason cited by those who steer clear of churches is the duplicity of Christians. Hypocrites is the word used most often. “If God’s word does not show up in the flesh of a congregation—if those who hear the word do not also incarnate the word—then the tongue has worked a wicked spell on them.” But we also must be careful not to indulge in glib speech in the church, making what is difficult sound easy, or what is mysterious sound plain.

Whether we mean to or not, we construct worlds with our speech. Describing a world we see, we often mistake it for the whole world. Like the three blind men describing an elephant. It is hard and cool and smooth, said the one feeling the tusk. No, it is warm and wrinkled and tough said the one feeling the leg. No, no, it is rough and hairy and keeps moving, said the one feeling the twitchy tail. Yet we still make meaning of what we see and proceed to conflate this with God’s meaning. Then we behave according to this world we have constructed with our speech, even when that causes us to dismiss or harm those who construe the world differently.

For teachers and others in authority, the danger lies in the perilous combination of authority on the one hand and misused, damaging speech or erroneous claims on the other. The reason James aims this cautionary text at teachers is because teachers and other leaders will be held liable not only for their own follies but also for the errors that their students assimilate and pass on. The more authority the person speaking has, the more likely that people will take their words for truth and also pass them on to others as such. If we as teachers and leaders are not careful in what we say, can we expect that those of whom we teach and lead will be any better?

Our words let people know how we feel, what we think, what we believe—well, at least sometimes. Presbyterians do fairly well at living in a Christian way most of the time, but much less frequently do we do as well talking about our faith and beliefs. We love to tell people that we’re different due to our government or our worship style or how welcoming we are, but rarely do we love to tell them what our confessions say and what our doctrine declares. That’s the hard part about being a teacher, for as powerful as words are, sometimes finding the right ones to articulate the mysteries of God and our faith prove immensely difficult.

We say that we’d rather live our faith than speak of it; we say that actions speak louder than words, but truthfully, not much when it comes to our faith. It is James who says several times that faith divorced from works is useless. But works without faith is just philanthropy. And this isn’t just an internal faith, this is a shared faith, a faith that uses words to communicate with others what we believe and how our lives have been affected by our faith in Christ. See, the tongue, for as much trouble as it can get us in, can also be useful for building up. As far back as the garden of Eden, the tongue was meant for praising God. And as people made in the image of God, I’d go so far as to say it was meant for praising each other as well. But as James points out, in the same breath, we can sing praise to God and demean those made in God’s likeness.

It is easy to see why James has such strong words of warning against the tongue. Forget karate chops and judo kicks, the tongue is the body part that can do more damage more quickly than any other. Yet, “if we dedicate our tongues to the language of God, our actions will follow. Our tongues, which bless and curse, can also ask for forgiveness. Teachers are not perfect, but must choose words carefully, because God has given us authority to build up for the body of Christ.”[i] And make no mistake, we are all teachers in the priesthood of all believers. So let us choose words that are useful for building up, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. Amen.

[i] Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 4, p. 66

Together again and catching up

2009-09-14T11:12:00.004-04:00

So glad that P is home! I know he had a great time and the pictures were awesome. But just having an extra pair of hands to help with the girls makes such a difference. Getting back into a routine that is familiar is good. On the other hand, it does make things seem a little more chaotic to have one more person coming and going again and to have to work schedules around.
First week of school went great. L doesn't even say 'bye to me, just goes right to her seat and talks to her friends. Honestly, that's the way it should be. She's not timid about it at all. Or really about anything. She continually amazes me.
A friend/colleague and I are starting up a lunch for the women ministers in our presbytery this week. Can't wait to see who comes and how it goes. Hope it fun! ('course, we're meeting at a beer garden/restaurant, so it can't go too terribly bad!)

three cheers for courtesy

2009-09-05T21:13:00.002-04:00

The Saga:
Starts back in May when I take L's forms and such to her school to register her for Kindergarten. Have to take in a medical form with physical and shot record. Ok, got it from her pediatrician, good to go. They take it. I leave, believing all is in order.
Fast forward to this past Thursday. It's orientation day. We go meet the teacher, find her room, etc. See a note on the door with kids who need to stop by the nurse's office. My kid is on that list. WTF? Ok, we go, we wait, we get our turn. They want a more up-to-date form or supposedly she can't come on Tues. Wait. It's Thursday, you want it by Tuesday and Monday's a holiday. WTF?! Every parent in the school with a kid who has a summer b-day is probably in the same boat. Why the hell didn't you tell me I'd need a more recent one when I was there in May? You looked at the date on it, you could have said, "she'll need an up-to-date form before school starts." I'd have asked for the form when we were there to have her check-up, no problem. That gives them time to fill it out.
Well, I'm a little unhappy, to say the least. especially having only 1.5 business days notice to fix this issue. But, we stop by the doctor's office on the way home to request the form, I explain and the nice lady behind the desk says it's usually a 72 hour turn around for med. forms. I try not to cry, and politely ask if there is a way to hurry this, as I would actually like for my child not to miss her first day of school (ok, so I would have taken her anyway and let them figure it out later) but she says I can check back at the end of the day on Friday.
So I do. I'm polite and kind and I guess that is not something that a lot of parents have been to those ladies that day. What do I get for keeping my head and using some manners? A nurse staying a few minutes late to complete the form for me and I walk out the door with form in hand on Friday. Totally worth it. :)

gonna be a long week and other random musing

2009-09-05T20:58:00.004-04:00

Just as I predicted, the week P is gone hiking in UT, M starts working on her upper teeth--well, I'm pretty sure that's the case, anyhow. Fussy for no seeming reason, Tylenol helps, etc.--all the usual signs.
I just don't know how single moms do it. I've only been sans hubby for 2 days and I'm already going nuts. Even just the few minutes here and there of relief he provides from a 5 year old who can't.stop.talking or giving the baby her bottle when my hands are full, well, I'm grateful.
To top it all off, I'm super low energy, having been diagnosed with walking pneumonia the day before he left. I can tell the superdrugs are working since I can breathe a little deeper without it hurting now, but the lung capacity is still lower than usual and it takes more energy to walk up and down the stairs, much less carrying an 18+ lb. baby chubbette in my arms.
Laundry is trying to take over the house. Can't seem to make it go downstairs by itself either. Gathering up L's laundry is like a scavenger hunt. I don't remember what color the carpet in her room is these days. I try to get to pick up a bit every night before bed, but it just explodes again during the day.
I am so anxious about L's first day of school. She's super excited--it's my own childhood anxieties surfacing that make me nervous. You know, the old mess-up-in-school-and-flush-your-life-goodbye sort of worries. We got a Tinkerbell backpack and a Barbie lunch bag, all the other usual school supplies. Then we had fun decorating her pencil box with jewel stickers and glitter letters for her name. We bought her a first-day-of-school outfit, though what she'll decide she wants to wear that morning is anybody's guess. Can't wait to see how she does. I think she'll have a great time and love being with the other kids and learning new things; she's certainly a smart girl.

2009-08-01T22:51:00.001-04:00

"We Want More!"

A sermon on the gospel lesson for Ordinary 17, Yr.B

John 6:24-35

by rivkah

“There was a name in nineteenth-century China, and perhaps all over Asia, for persons who came to church because they were hungry for material food. They converted, were baptized, joined the church, and remained active members as long as their physical needs were met through the generosity of the congregation. But once their prospects improved and they and their families no longer needed rice, they drifted away from the church. Hence, missionaries called them “rice Christians.”[i]

Obviously this is not a new phenomenon. Ever since Jesus miraculously fed the 5000 seated on the hill, he has had this crowd of people following him around, rather like a pack of stray dogs hoping for some stray crumbs to be dropped. They are fixated only on where their next meal will come from. Rather odd, wouldn’t you say, for people who had just witnessed such a miracle as the one they themselves were part of. “But these were the ones who saw the feeding miracle as an end in itself rather than the sign it was meant to be...”[ii]

They don’t realize that this miracle points to something beyond itself. Upon first witnessing the miracle feeding, they want to haul Jesus off and crown him king. THIS was what they wanted in a Messiah, someone who could feed them, make it so they wouldn’t have to work for their food, make life a little easier. They have been satisfied physically and so their eyes are fixed only on physical things. They have no idea that there is much more at stake.

Jesus and his disciples have finally gotten a much needed break on the other side of the sea when the crowd realizes he’s slipped off. They go searching for him and when they find him, they complain that he has left them. “When did you come here?” In other words, “Why aren’t you where we left you, so we could find you again?” But Jesus knows they have not come to find the one who could fill their souls. They have come to find the one who had filled their bellies.

It is a slavering beast, this crowd. Hunger in their eyes. The hungry crowd wants more. More bread. More to eat. They are worried more about the immediacy of their stomachs than the future of their spiritual lives. But Jesus tries to explain to them that they are merely wasting their time coming after him in this fashion. “You’ve followed me around all over the countryside, hoping for more bread and never realizing you’re going after things that will mold and spoil. Don’t follow me around for barley loaves that merely fill you, follow me for the bread that will fulfill you, not just for a few hours, but for eternity. This is the bread that God has sent to you”

Well, they hear ‘follow,’ and ‘God,’ and thinking they have the right idea, want some clarification, just to be sure. “Ok, how can we follow God?” or as John puts it, “What must we do to perform the works of God?” They are so eager to please their Master that they don’t fully listen and understand what he is saying before jumping in with more questions, entirely missing the point of Jesus’ words. Now, from everything I’ve read, I’m pretty sure that Jesus was a really patient guy, but I think he must be rolling his eyes at these folks about now.

So, he tries to put it as simply as possible. “The work of God is to believe in him whom God has sent.” Couldn’t be easier, just believe, right? Their eyes brighten at this thought. “Oh! We can do that,” they think. “And then maybe he’ll give us more bread.” They want to get it right, I really think they do. They just don’t know how. Their eyes were just not opened to the higher meaning in Jesus’ words. So they eagerly ask him, “What sign will do give us so that we can see and believe?” Then the synapses fire and they remember another time when God had sent food for their people. And wanting to show off their smarty pants, they remind Jesus, “Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat,’”

I can’t help it, but every time I read about Jesus telling someone, “Very truly I tell you,” I picture him doing a big ol’ forehead smack. It always precedes something that should be painfully obvious, but that the listener in the story just doesn’t seem to get. A lot of Christians today actually miss that the ‘he’ who gave the manna to the people in the wilderness was referring to Moses, not God in that verse. That is why Jesus points out to them that it was not actually Moses who gave them the bread, but God. “It was God who gave the bread that satisfied their hunger for one day only. The same God now gives them bread from heaven that will satisfy forever.”[iii]

Forever. That’s a hard concept to wrap our heads around. And bread that would satisfy forever. There must have been more than a few bemused souls in the crowd that day, hearing about bread that would last forever. Perhaps even many of us are still a bit befuddled at the idea. But this line is just the beginning of John’s exposition on what it means for Jesus to be the bread of life. We’ll hear more about this in the next few coming weeks. But in this passage, Jesus just introduces us to the idea. Plants the seed.

“For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world,” he explains. This isn’t just manna. It’s far more than food we can chew and swallow and eat our fill of. It even goes beyond the miracle of the food that lasts only a day, that no one can hoard. It’s very appropriate that the Israelites reaction the first time they see the bread from heaven called manna is to say, “What is it?” It’s quite a similar reaction to the one people have when first meeting the bread from heaven named Jesus. “Who are you? What are you?” There is a distinct lack of understanding that God is providing for them exactly what they need at that time. The Israelites needed food for their bellies and God provided manna in abundance. The Jews needed food for their souls and God provided Christ in abundance.

We who already know the story understand that Jesus was sent by God to fulfill God’s promise of everlasting life. We know that his body and blood are the food and drink of eternity. Yet in the text for next week we will see the confusion deepen as Jesus tries to explain this to the people and they can not get past the literality of seeming cannibalism—with a couple more, “very truly” forehead smacks from Jesus thrown in.

Miracles, in the Fourth Gospel, do not easily bring faith to those who witness them, but more often confusion, division, and hostility. These ‘rice Christians’ following Jesus that day are more than a little confused. They want the free food, the handouts. They think they understand about the manna when Jesus brings up bread from heaven. Ah, now we get it. Miracle food, or dare I say it, “wonder bread.” He’s got their interest. But they’re so sure they’ve got his number that they don’t really listen to the rest of what he says. “It is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

Yes, yes, they think. Bread coming down from heaven—that’s manna, we know about that, we get it. That’s what we want. Never have to plant or harvest or knead or bake again. But they miss the essential word, the last word of that phrase. This bread gives life to the world—not just a few, not just Israelites and their descendants—the world. Yet, thinking they’ve got this mystery sewn up, they get a little ahead of themselves. “Sir,” they say, “give us this bread always.”

What we know that they don’t know is the cost of eating this bread. This crowd that is so enthusiastic about following Jesus around when they think he will feed them with barley loaves and fish, quickly disperses when thing heat up with the Pharisees. Fair weather friends, indeed. And as we know, even Peter will deny Jesus three times when the going really gets tough. Yes, eating the bread of heaven is harder than it sounds. Towards the end of chapter six, even Christ’s closest disciples admit that these teachings about the eating the body and blood are difficult. Many more people turn away from following him at this point, shaking their heads as if to release these difficult and perhaps dangerous teachings they’ve heard.

But today, this crowd is still eager, wanting this bread that they think Jesus is offering to them. But he has one more curve ball to throw at them. A crux so important that the lectionary pulls it back in as the first line in next week’s text. He tells them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” Now whoever chose to stop the lectionary here must have a flair for the dramatic. It just stops right there at one of the most well known verses in John or even in all the gospels. Can’t you just hear the collective intake of breath as what he’s just said sinks into the minds of the crowd? We’re left at this cliff hanger, not knowing what the reaction of the crowd is to such an astonishing statement. It’s an outrageous claim.

And of course, they still don’t really understand. Perhaps they think they misheard him. “I am the bread of life? No, he must have said, I have the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry. That makes much more sense.” Their misunderstandings will be clarified next week, when we find out just, in fact, how difficult they begin to realize his teachings are.

So difficult that even John does not attempt to explain them in full. He lets us linger in the mystery of the body and blood for about half of this long chapter. John knows that to endeavor to explain this mystery would be to do it a great injustice. As John Calvin once said when asked to explain the Eucharist, “I would rather experience it than to understand it.” And indeed, “to feed upon the truth who is Jesus Christ, to find primary sustenance in him, is better even than to understand him.”[iv]

So we are left at this climax. The crowd who has been seeking out bread for their bellies, believing that they have witnessed the same sort of manna miracle as their ancestors, now get the shock of discovering that Jesus himself is the bread that they seek. Will they be ‘rice Christians?” Or perhaps “barley Christians” would be more apt. Will they simply drift away as so many of us do when the good feelings aren’t there anymore, when our own wants and desires aren’t being fulfilled, never mind what it is that we truly need.

Or will they stay, will we stay, and learn more about what it means for Christ to be the bread of life? Will we stay to hear more about how we can be fulfilled, rather than just filled, never to hunger or thirst again? Will we stay and feast on this bread of life? I invite you now, come to the table, come and feast! Amen.

[i] Sparks, O. Benjamin. "John 6:24-35, Pastoral Perspective" Feasting on the Word. Year B, Vol. 3. Westminster John Knox Press. Louisville, KY, 2009.

[ii] ibid.

[iii] ibid.

[iv]Willimon, William H. "John 6:24-35, Homiletical Perspective " Feasting on the Word. Year B, Vol. 3. Westminster John Knox Press. Louisville, KY, 2009.

R & R

2009-07-15T15:09:00.003-04:00

Quite the inspiration, holding a sleeping baby in my arms while I contemplate Mark's passage on the disciples' need of a break (Mark 6: 30-34, 53-56)...
We all need a break, especially those of us in ministry. Just like sleeping babies, we need to 'sleep' so we can grow, turn off from the (over)stimulation of the world, and awaken hungry again. Being passed around from person to person, having to constantly adapt to new faces and situations is tough and emotionally (and even often physically) exhausting. People constantly getting in or putting things in your face to get a reaction out of you (good or bad)--it's a lot to deal with. We need to rest.
Conversely, it's the people following Jesus around who are like infants insofar as they are needy and helpless, crying out for healing. And just like a mother feeding her child in the middle of the night, no matter how tired she is, she can't resist (or tune out!) the child's cries of hunger and need. Jesus would no more ignore those people's needs than a parent would ignore their baby's. No matter how dirty the diaper, it has to be changed!
The line that struck me in my original reading was the line "...there was no time even for them to eat." Yeah, I so know how that feels. I don't even have a school-aged kid until the fall, but all of our comings and goings make it hard to get everyone around the table at once.
I remember from elementary social studies, the 3 basic human needs--food, clothing, & shelter. Food, a basic human need, and yet we so often put it off for other things. I could go off on a whole 'nuther rant about our Fast Food Nation, but I won't. You can see where it would head from here, I think.
I want to explore in this week's sermon the way the feeding of the 5,000 is sandwiched by this week's reading. Mark is actually quite the literary genius, leading us into this massive feast of loaves and fishes with the disciples lack of time for a meal. I imagine they were quite cranky and tired, having also just come off their journey made in pairs to the outlying regions. I know I get cranky when my blood sugar is low; I know my baby girl doesn't like it when her feeding gets delayed for whatever reason. How must they have felt to see Jesus delaying again, even though it was getting late?
It is hard to form a sermon without wanting to say, "This is what being a follower is all about, putting aside our own needs for those of others." Well, yes, but... But we need to have a time for rest and renewal. Even Jesus had to get away at times (napping in the boat, alone in the garden, etc.). We can't do effective ministry if we aren't getting our basic needs met, if we aren't at least rested and well-fed. And like babies, we will better thrive if we are also loved and hugged and adored occasionally.
Take a minute for yourself this week, don't put off caring for others, but do try to find that moment of peace. Let yourself be cared for like a small child, for we all are children of God.

"God in Between"

2009-06-15T14:08:00.004-04:00

I thought is was about time that I got back into the habit of posting my sermons. I don't mind if you borrow them, though I'd like credit even though I admit that these words are not strictly mine, but rather my own interpretation of words given to me by the Spirit.

Disclosure: This title is shamelessly borrowed from a children's story written by Sandi Eisenburg Sasso

Scriptures: 1 Samuel 15:34-16:13, 2 Cor. 5:6-17, Mark 4:26-34

"God in Between"

Have any of you ever grown mint? From seed? The mint seed is the tiniest seed that I’ve ever come across. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mustard seed to compare it to, but mint seeds are very, very tiny. Now if you’ve ever planted mint, even from an already started plant from the store, you know how invasive it can be, taking over everything if not kept in check. It becomes a wild, untamed mass of fragrant green leaves, invading spots you had saved for other plants. All from a seed about the size of one of the periods in your bulletin. Or think about a baby. My pediatrician said that babies M’s age gain half to one ounce every day! It is certainly a miracle to watch her grow and change. You all here in -- don’t seem to have much kudzu, but in --, we couldn’t get away from it. Someone once told me that in the heat of summer, kudzu can grow up to 18 inches in one day. You could almost sit and watch that kind of growth take place right in front of you!

This unbelievable, miraculous kind of growth is what Jesus is talking about when he references the mustard seed. This tiny seed, growing into a shrub almost tree-size. Birds can build nests in it and animals can find shade under its leaves. And this, he says, is like the kingdom of heaven. The evidence starts small, but with God’s care, it grows into a huge, sheltering, nurturing tree. One that provides nourishment and security. God takes the smallest seed and transforms it into a great plant that provides sustenance for all.

I’ve heard plenty of pastors use this parable to encourage evangelism and growth in their churches. “Go out, make this seed grow,” they exhort. But I actually think they’ve missed the point. Jesus isn’t talking about earthly things here. He’s talking about the kingdom of heaven—that part, at least, he says plainly. But if we look at the mustard seed parable up next to the parable of the farmer that Jesus tells in conjunction with it, we see that the farmer doesn’t even know how the seed grows. The farmer has so little to do with making the seed grow that in the parable the farmer sleeps through the process of sprouting and maturation.

But truthfully, we don’t need to know how. We just have to trust that God is doing what God promised (and God always does!). While in Matthew, we are admonished to have faith the size of a mustard seed, Mark makes no such admonition. In Mark, the parable is, plain and simple, about the kingdom that provides saving space way beyond our imagining. The parable is not about us, but about the grace of God. “We are freed from the burden of determining the harvest, of assuming that our successes or failures hasten or deter God’s plans.” We plant the seed and reap the harvest, but God does the ‘in between’ work. No matter our efforts, the harvest will come. We have to depend on God for germination, water, sun, etc.

As with the mustard seed, the smallest seed becomes the greatest shrub. In order to be fulfilling its mission, the church must produce some sort of growth, though that doesn’t have to be measured in numbers. Some people think the only way to measure a church’s growth (hear ‘success’) is by new members. I disagree. It can be measured by the church’s outreach, if they are adopting new programs, if they are increasing pledge gifts, if they are getting out more in their community, if they are finding new ways to spread the word about God’s coming kingdom. All of these are ways to measure church growth and success. We start these programs and trust that God will bring them to fulfillment in making new disciples.

The initial evidence of the kingdom may seem small, but the ultimate results are great. If we believe that this is how God does things, then what do we do? We will begin to look for the mustard seeds. We will look for the first signs of the kingdom with faith and optimism. We will not be too quick to dismiss the small and insignificant. We will not give up on ourselves, on others, on the church, or even on the world just because we see many signs of sin and brokenness. Rather, we will believe in God’s possibilities even if the evidence is as tiny as a mustard seed.

Consider David, youngest of Jesse’s sons, so insignificant that his father didn’t even call him in from the fields when a convening of his sons was requested by Samuel. He wasn’t the eldest, he wasn’t the tallest, or even the fairest, yet he was the chosen. He becomes one of the greatest and most beloved kings of Israel. Even when all the others, including Samuel, were shocked at his anointing, God already sees David’s potential and has great plans for him in the life of his chosen people, Israel.

God sees in us what we cannot see from the outside. Turns out, it’s not a beauty pageant. And we see that displayed in the life of Christ. Jesus always sees the potential in others. Their potential to be healed, to be whole, to be redeemed. Intimacy with Christ grows in us as certainly and effortlessly as seeds grow. We have so little to do with Christ’s nearness to us that we can just go to sleep as the gardener did. This trust, so deep that we can sleep without anxiety is much more useful to us than fussing over the little seed: dousing it with pesticide, repotting it, clucking anxiously over the amount of sun it has. The kingdom is like this sleepy, restful trust.

Trouble is, we like to be busy, productive, to feel like we’re being useful. Being busy and dogmatic makes sense to us. It fits with our normal way of being human. We achieve all sorts of goods by working hard and committing ourselves to our values. These are mostly reasonable things, and certainly nothing useful would happen if we did not work for it or if we remained indifferent to moral and political issues. It’s just that this way of operating is not like the kingdom of God. The harvest will come without us having to work for it, because God adores us and it is this love that is the power of growth.

God will not fail to fulfill the promise of salvation. It is already coming to be in this world—like the seed sown in the earth, or the remarkable growth of the tree from the mustard seed, silently but powerfully coming to be. The harvest will happen in God’s way and in God’s time. Meanwhile, we plant the seeds and wait for them to grow. We watch with patience and marvel at the first sprouts. Then we pray for rain and sun from God’s hand and joyfully reap the fruits of the harvest when they are mature.

As Paul tells the Corinthians, we walk by faith and not by sight. Or at least we try to. It isn’t easy for humans to hand over all control of the outcome. Yet faith demands that we do just that. Once we plant the seed, we can’t see what happens under the ground, we have to wait until we see the first sprouts. But we trust that God is always at work, even inside that tiny seed, planted deep in the dark earth.

It is yet another of God’s mysteries, like that of the Trinity, which we spoke of last week. This parable reminds us that God is full of mysteries and surprises. And in an age when we learn more and more with science and technology, all of the mystery and surprise seems to be getting squeezed out of our collective consciousness. If it isn’t tangible or quantifiable or calculable, it must not Be. But Jesus asks us in this parable not to close our imaginations too quickly.

Think about seeds he says. You don’t know how they grow into grain or fruit or trees or flowers. You just plant them and leave them until harvest time. It’s a mystery, an amazing mystery. Or the tiny mustard seed. How does that teeny, tiny seed grow into such an enormous plant? We can’t understand the kingdom of God any more than we can understand how a seed grows. But we can know that God is up to something in between the time we plant and the time we harvest. We can see the sprouts, the leaves, the fruit. It isn’t until then, though, that we can see the plants potential. God, on the other hand, can see the potential in the smallest of seeds right from the start before it even makes it to the soil.

So pray now that our eyes can be like the eyes of God, that we will be able to see the potential in all of God’s children and welcome them into the corner of the kingdom that we have right here at SPC. The kingdom will come, in God’s time and in God’s way; we believe that God will do the ‘in between’ work, allowing us the planting and the harvest. So get your gloves on, grab your trowel and rake, and… wait. Wait for the miraculous potential to break forth from the power of God. Amen.

new things

2009-06-15T13:51:00.002-04:00

Wow! Hadn't realized how long it's been. Since before my maternity leave even. I've been back for two weeks now. It's been a fairly easy transition. Baby M is with me for the summer in the office until big sis goes to kindergarten in the fall. (Just can't afford two kids in child care at once!) She's done very well and I am able to work around her easily with a few simple tweaks in my time management.
Not to say that I'm not keeping busy. Summer is usually a slow time of year with people going on vacations and such, but right now I'm looking at planning for the officer training and retreat at the end of the summer, and best of all, welcoming five new members and officiating a couple of baptisms. What a joy!

devestation

2009-03-24T09:12:00.003-04:00

I learned last night that good friends and colleagues of mine who were expecting twins lost the baby girl in utero. The mom will have to carry her along with her brother until the boy is ready to be delivered. I can. not. imagine.
I myself have been feeling so off-kilter after this news. Perhaps it is because I'm carrying a healthy baby girl. Perhaps it is simply the bond of motherhood. But whatever it is, I too am keenly feeling this loss. Tears pop up at unexpected moments. I pray constantly for them, wondering what they must be going through, losing one--sadly, due to the life of the other. Doctors say they think the boy was just taking all the nutrients and the girl couldn't thrive.
I think that would probably be the hardest thing if this were me. I think I might always have some small feelings of blame toward the surviving child. But again, I've not been in that situation, so I can't say for sure. How difficult it must be to walk in and see two of everything... to see the blue next to the pink...
These friends are a part of my Tuesday lectionary group. For obvious reasons, we're not having that today. I will instead be holding a prayer vigil during our normal meeting time. If you are so inclined, between 1:30 and 3 p.m. EST you can join me in prayer for them. I will not name them for privacy, but God will know.

Through the Cracks

2009-03-13T21:36:00.004-04:00

The other day I posted my status update on facebook to say "R wonders what else will fall through the cracks." Yeah, maybe that should have been a clue.
So here, about two weeks away (give or take) from giving birth, I have a funeral to do. And it's of a person that has been sick most of the time I've worked here, suffering from Alzheimer's, so I really have very little of a relationship with her. Her family almost never darkens the doors. Funerals stress me out. I mean, I know some colleagues who think they're pretty easy, but I feel like this is a time of huge responsibility on my part. I get one chance to make the last memories of their loved one special.
But really, while I'd love to believe that God has supreme confidence in my ability to handle this, I'm thinking it's more like a divine joke at my expense. I mean, I can barely remember my own name these days. I'm barely keeping my head above water trying to get ready to go on leave (right before Holy Week and Easter I might add) and now I get to add a funeral of a person I barely know. Some things (many things) are about to fall through the cracks.
Anybody want to send me a sermon for Sunday? Anyone?... Bueller?

nothing half way

2009-03-10T11:19:00.003-04:00

Well, I tell you, as if planning for maternity leave wasn't enough, I'm now being asked to be a supervisor for an internship (I assume it's over the summer) as soon as I return from leave. It's a member of our church and she also works full time so it ought to be interesting trying to squeeze in the hours required for the internship. We'll make it work though. She has a true sense of calling, I know. I want to do it, don't get me wrong. It's just another thing to think about. I have had a VERY full first year and a half in the ministry!

blowing over and other things

2009-02-05T16:32:00.003-04:00

Well, it seems like perhaps things are blowing over with the organist. She was pleasant and cordial today. 'Course I'm still wary since I know the ways of Grande Southern Dames. (We used to call them GSLQ's way back--Grand Southern Ladies of Quality.) Sadly, I feel like I will have to keep my guard up and my smile on around her for a while yet to come. Still, I don't sense the frosty acidity that was there before.

On a totally separate note: Go over here and join in the discussion about confession and reformed worship. Lots of great musings!

Screw ups

2009-02-03T12:39:00.006-04:00

Well, it being my first funeral and all, there was bound to be something that went wrong. The funeral is not actually until tomorrow, but I'm already neck deep in $h!t with my organist for handling some things poorly. I will take the vast majority of the responsibility. I was clumsy when I asked her if a family member could play for part of the service. Apparently, she *heard* me say the whole service and felt very offended, but rather than saying so at the time, she waited until she boiled over this morning and came in and literally yelled at me, hurling accusations about my intentions. Something like this:
Walking, or rather marching, in my door-
"I'm very upset."
"Would you like to tell me why?"
"Oh, you know very well why! You know why I'm here!"
(Oh boy, I have no idea what's going on.)
"I'm not sure I do. Can you..."
"You know very well why I'm upset!! Don't pretend you don't know!"
"Why don't you tell me anyway."
(I'm pretending pretty well to be calm so far. Not really feeling it though.)
At one point she pulls out the "How dare you!" at me. (not really sure what I was daring, but...) Well, as unpastoral as it was, I stood up and pulled one right back. Hey, I'm a pastor, not a doormat. I find it pretty unfair of her to fling her misunderstandings at me as though they were intended.
Well, it was about what I mentioned above. Didn't know this at the time, since I thought we'd gone over it the day before. She'd seemed satisfied at the time. I thought I'd pretty straightforwardly asked her if she would like to play the hymns while the family member played the solos--she apparently didn't hear that. I think she'd already gotten her feelings hurt (something, I think, about not seeing her name in the (unfinished version of the) bulletin. And tuned me out at that point.
As we went on, I discovered we'd both made some erroneous assumptions. I said so. She looked at me as if to say, of course I had, but she was in the right all along.
So she flung a few more accusations at me and I did my best pastor imitation and said I was very sorry for handling things so clumsily and I never meant for her feelings to get hurt, I was sorry for not being more clear the day before, I was sorry she misunderstood my intentions, I wished she'd have let me know at the time, I would love if she'd reconsider and play the hymns as was intended,(eat crow, swallow pride, etc.)
Well, she'd have none of it. As she was ready to leave, I said, "I truly hope you can forgive me. I'm very sorry." (Looking as contrite as possible--and actually meaning it. I DID feel bad that things went wrong. I'm not sure I'm ready to accept ALL the blame, as I feel she didn't really listen to what I was saying the day before, but I'm ready to admit I could have handled it better--live and learn. And in case you're wondering, no, our church has no policy about these things, I have to make it up as I go.)
Well, she just waved and walked out. Not even acknowledging my apology. Now THAT is why I'm venting.
Of course, now the family member is asking her to play for part of the service since she (the fam. member)feels she might get a little emotional, so we'll see how that goes over.
Please pray that she can keep her venom contained and not do something to hurt the family. She's a well-practiced southern belle, knowing the fine art of the back-handed compliment, the brittle rejoinder and the acerbic gratitude. But if, on the other hand, she spills/throws punch on me tomorrow, I'll have a great story to tell!

"Let's Start at the Very Beginning..."

2009-01-11T13:47:00.002-04:00

“Let’s Start at the Very Beginning…”

If you’ve been keeping up with my newsletter articles, you know that we have finally come into the Year of the Steward. The session and I decided to devote the entirety of 2009 to a deepened understanding of stewardship. Each month, or in most cases, a pair of months will be devoted to a way that we are stewards. Had I thought of it sooner, I’d have put in the January newsletter the breakdown of what each topic would be and when. That will come next month, along with a brief description of what the current month’s topic will be.

This month though starts us off with the most basic and fundamental stewardship principles I think, that we are called to be stewards of the gospel. I recognize that stewardship has gotten something of a bad rep in most churches, since just about the only time that word is used is in conjunction with asking for money. Turns out, (and you’ll know this if you’ve read your newsletters) that stewardship actually has absolutely nothing to do with giving anything. For those of you into etymology, that is, the origins of words, ‘steward’ comes from the old English words that meant ‘sty warden.’ That’s right, the pig keeper. Now don’t start thinking this is makes it a dirty word, oh no, this was one of the most responsible positions on the farm. Pigs were valuable sources of meat, manure, and they were easy to keep since they could live on scraps. They were very important. Being the sty warden was very important. But notice that the warden isn’t the one giving anything. He is responsible for the pigs that have been handed over to his care. His master has trusted him with this important position and allowed him to take over the management of the pig keeping.

Over the next year we will examine a number of the things that God has given over to our care and what our responsibilities towards them are. We are stewards—care takers, not just givers. God has already given us everything we need, everything that we have. We are entrusted with its care. Sometimes being responsible caretakers does mean giving away part of what we have. But as we will see, different things are cared for in different ways. Sharing our gifts, no matter what form they take, is often part of this responsibility, but not always. We are caring for what we have already been given. We have the responsibility for the care, management, and utilization of things that do not belong to us. Do recognize that being called to be stewards implies a level of trust and partnership on the part of the owner. That’s right, God trusts us enough to call us into stewardship of all that we have, all that we can see. Kinda makes you wonder what God must have been thinking, yeah?

As I said, this month we are looking at our responsibilities as stewards of the gospel. Being stewards of the gospel is the prologue and presupposition of all of our other practices as God’s stewards. This is where it begins. If we aren’t being faithful stewards of the gospel, we can’t be faithful stewards of any of God’s other gifts to us. It is from the gospel itself that we learn of our call to stewardship, that we learn of God’s generosity to us, learn of the responsibilities of our role. Being a steward of the gospel can be equated with being a disciple, of course. Discipleship is following Christ’s teaching and God’s will for our lives, which, of course, we discern from the gospel. It is also the sharing of the things we learn in the gospel, which is, I think, more of where the stewardship aspect comes in. Discipleship is not only following but sharing. We have been entrusted with the gospel’s message, we care for it by following it and by sharing it with others so they in turn can care for it by following and sharing God’s word.

If I’ve made it this far and you haven’t asked yourself why I’m preaching this sermon on a Sunday when we honor the Lord’s baptism, you’re either not paying attention or you’re very trusting that I’m going in the right direction. And if it’s the latter, so as not to violate that trust, I’ll go ahead and tell you that our call to stewardship begins at the moment of our baptism.

Baptism provides us with our identity, just as it did for Jesus. God’s voice comes to him and declares him God’s beloved son, giving him his identity as such, and it also marks the beginning of his ministry. Our baptisms do the same. They mark us as beloved children of God and it marks the beginning of our ministry as stewards of the Gospel, as disciples, as Christians. This is absolutely crucial to Mark, so much so that we’ve already gotten here within the first eleven verses of his gospel. This is the very first place he takes us, this is what he sees as the beginning of it all. And as Christians, we too see baptism as the beginning. The very start of our lives—at least our lives as they were meant to be led as beloved children of God.

By examining the baptism of Jesus, we can see the perfect example of what our own baptisms are meant to symbolize. The empowering by the Holy Spirit into the ministry of God’s word and as God’s own beloved children. “Jesus did not receive the Spirit in order to enjoy privately its spiritual benefits, but rather in order to pass it on.”[i] This is the beginning. In Mark’s gospel, it is the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, the beginning of his identity as the Son of God, the Messiah. For Mark, there is nothing before this. “In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, there was nothing,” says Genesis. The earth was formless and void and God’s spirit swept over the waters. Yet from that nothing, God created everything. And here in Mark we begin once again with water and nothingness and from that begins Jesus’ ministry on earth. For it is only when the spirit descends that formation and identity begin, for creation, for Jesus, and for us.

When the Spirit moves over us, we begin to take shape. We begin to take shape as Christians, as disciples of Jesus, and as stewards of the gospel. Before that moment, our lives may as well have been formless and void. For it is in that moment that our identity is confirmed, our identity as God’s beloved. Though Presbyterians believe the water to be symbolic, for it is the Spirit that does the actual baptizing, it is easy with the small bowls and fonts used in most churches to lose the element of danger to be found in large bodies of water. One of the theological reasons for immersion is that in going totally under the water, it is symbolic of dying, and coming up from the water is symbolic of rising again to new life. Presbyterians tend more towards the theology of the water being symbolic of washing away our sins, thus the amount is not significant, especially as I said, since the Spirit is the one doing the actual work.

If that’s all the theology lesson you want for today, let’s have Mark bring us back to the earthy side of baptism. We have John wearing scratchy camel hair clothes, eating bugs, wading into a muddy, mucky river to dunk the poor converts into its cold and murky depths. These images remind us of how human our baptisms really are. Babies crying, drops of cold water running into their eyes, parents tripping over the name of their own child, adults more concerned with not getting their hair wet than with receiving the Holy Spirit, ministers forgetting the words. Yet as human as the ritual is, the Holy Spirit still comes. And of course if there is any doubt that this is truly what God wanted and intended, just remember John’s words that Jesus is indeed “the Word made flesh.” This is indeed the beginning of God creating something new and wonderful in Jesus Christ. At our own baptisms we are made new and wonderful through water and the spirit.

Our call to stewardship is just one aspect of our baptisms of course, but as I said before, being called as stewards of the gospel is the prologue and presupposition to all the rest of our acts as God’s stewards. At the time I needed to have the bulletin ready for printing, I didn’t have a catchy title for it, but as I was working on it later, I decided I’d have given it a title inspired by one of my favorite movie musicals, calling it, “Let’s Start at the Very Beginning, A Very Good Place to Start.” A bit long for a sermon title perhaps, but it conveys exactly where we are. The Very Beginning, a very good place to start indeed. I certainly don’t think it a coincidence that Genesis 1 is chosen to go along with the Baptism of the Lord texts. They both denote the beginning of two of God’s most definitive, most authoritative works in the story of our world. They both denote the forming of an identity, that of the earth and that of God’s Son. They are both the beginnings of important books of the Bible—Genesis, the word itself meaning ‘beginning,’ and Mark, thought by scholars to be the earliest of the gospels. What a good place to start, indeed.

And so it is here that we start our year of the steward as well. With a remembrance of our own baptisms, our own call to be God’s stewards, God’s caretakers of the Word, a responsibility bestowed upon us with trust, for some of us, even from our infancy. Through water and the Holy Spirit we are entrusted with God’s word, to care for it, use it wisely, and share it with others. It is truly a great beginning, to the year and to our lives and to our calling. What a very good place to start.

[i] Bartlett, Taylor, eds. “Baptism of the Lord (First Sunday After the Epiphany” Feasting on the Word, Yr. B, vol. 1. p.240. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2008.

Maybe I'll post this one... maybe

2009-01-10T18:51:00.003-04:00

I had no idea it had been so long since I posted a sermon. What a lazy pants I am! Ok, so some of it is my own insecurity, but a lot of it can be chalked up to laziness since I'm terrible about citing sources when I write sermons. My sermons are recorded, but only for the church library and I'm not one of those nuts (yes, I know some) who insist on verbally citing during their sermons. Now, if it's somebody really famous, I'll mention who said what, but I truly know people who will interrupt the flow of a sermon to say something like, "On page 78 of the Interpreters Bible Dictionary, it says that camels..." you get the idea. Eesh!
I've got a pretty good one in the works right now I think, which I really should be working on instead of posting, but I needed a break. We've made 2009 the Year of the Steward, so at least once a month I'm working on a sermon to go along with different themes of stewardship, like stewardship of the gospel, of the earth, of relationships, of community, of finances, etc. Each month (or often a pair of months) has a different theme, and at least one Sunday each month will have a sermon related to it. I'm trying to make it the second Sunday, so as not to interfere with communion on the first Sundays. We'll see how it goes.
Baby (or as P calls her, "the parasite") is making it quite uncomfortable for me to sit and write. She seems rather riled up at the moment and is kicking my ribs on one end and punching my bladder on the other. The trials of being short-waisted--both this one and her big sister were already up into my ribs by about 6 months. She really likes her space and does NOT like to be squished up at all. She prefers to stretch out and move around as much as she can. L was like that too. She never wanted to be swaddled as a baby either, hated to be confined.
Well, now that both cats are here, lying all over my books and papers, I guess I'm ready to get back to it...

to good friends and prayers

2009-01-10T18:42:00.003-04:00

Thank you all for prayers and thoughts and encouragements. Tuesday's 'intervention' went ok. No one said anything nasty, emotions were held in check (pregnant hormones and all), and overall I think we got some good things worked out. On the other hand, I am not quite sure I got through to her that gossip is bad. She seemed to keep saying something to the effect that because she asked God for forgiveness (though not me) that all was ok again. I didn't get the feeling that she was particularly sorry for her actions, though she had plenty of excuses. I want to debrief with the woman who came with me from the relations team. I figure this will either A) blow over, or B) she'll go out and start the gossip again with something to the effect of "She couldn't even come to me on her own, she had to bring ___ with her as back up," etc., even though both ___ and I made it very clear why she was there and in what capacity. Sadly, in my experience, once a gossip, always a gossip.
But, and I can't remember if I said it in the last post, I am comforted in the knowledge that my session (minus Ms. Gossip), and most of my members understand her ways and pretty much all of them have my back. Dad's been through this sort of thing a number of times and had some good advice too. It always helps to hear what other people have been through and done at times like these.
Thank you all, dear friends.

You'd think they'd know better

2009-01-06T16:54:00.004-04:00

It took over a year, but I'm finally finding out what gossip and slander patterns are in this small congregation. Of course, it would have to be aimed at me... (sigh)
Apparently, my mind reading skills were off right around Christmas and I did not receive the telepathic communications from a member that she needed to be contacted or visited every single day during her (not-so-serious) illness. Her symptoms were not serious (mostly fatigue in a woman who was usually quite active, and loss of appetite); she never had to go into the hospital; I did make contact by phone a couple of time and knew that my deacons were on top of things, and since I'm sounding defensive anyway, I'll add that it WAS right before Christmas. I tried as hard as I could to make myself available with as little effort as a phone call. Was I right or wrong? Don't care, can't change it.
What I care about is that about a week later I hear she's bitching to anyone with ears (except me!) about how I didn't meet her needs, didn't do this or that or the other. (Aside: though I didn't know it at the time, I was supposed to speak to her before church last Sunday. Well, normally, before worship, I'm so focused on preparing that I don't really talk to anyone. Again, mind reading not so good these days. This caused a whole new round of slander. I actually intentionally sought her after the service, but she and her family apparently were so mad about the other perceived slights that they left early to avoid me.) The person who approached me about the situation was very kind about it all and let me know that, apparently, this whole family has a history with the church of what she called, "Entitlement syndrome." Wish I'd known that BEFORE all this went down...
What's worse, she's an active elder on my session. We have a pastor/parish relations committee under the communications team for EXACTLY this sort of situation, which, as an elder, she should have known and utilized. Not to mention that, as a Christian, she should know that talking about someone rather than to them is NEVER the right thing to do. Have I mentioned how much I hate, loathe, abhor gossip (and especially when it's about me)? Yeah, well...
Good news is that when I heard about it third hand, I did go to the p/p relations comm. and the chair is going to sit with us as mediator to help us work this out.
If I've ever needed prayers, it's tomorrow around 10 am. That's when we'll be sitting down to work this out. Trust is diminished, pastoral thoughts are tough to come by, and of course, feelings are hurt. Let's hope my inner sixth grader stays home.

the first shoe...

2008-12-30T14:34:00.003-04:00

After more than a year of relative calm and quiet, it looks like I am dealing with my first serious member illness and very likely immanent death. (I say that knowing this is a relatively anonymous blog.) It's pancreatic cancer. Sadly, not good statistics for remission. And she's an elderly lady as well, though fairly spunky. She was diagnosed last week and the family is still reeling. She's been released from the hospital to the skilled nursing facility of the nursing home/retirement community where she and her husband live. I won't speculate at this point about what that means.
I haven't even been a part of a funeral other than observer. While I don't mind them, I fret about saying the wrong thing. While that may be putting the cart before the horse, the truth is, it's just about certain to come sooner rather than later--hers or someone else's.
Prayers for Spirit intervention--for me and them--are coveted as we continue on this journey.

Thoughts on Simeon and Anna

2008-12-22T12:17:00.004-04:00

I admit it, I'm excited to preach about Simeon and Anna. For some reason, I just really like these guys. They have quite a lot of depth for just 18 verses. I'm thinking of naming my sermon "Of widows, virgins, and barren ones," and talk about the prominent roles that Anna, Mary, and Elizabeth have in Luke as being the ones to recognize the Messiah, even though they were considered next to nothing by their culture and society. We'll see. That's where I am today. I have all week to change my mind. :)
I might even get around to posting it. I haven't posted a sermon in quite a while. Laziness is some of it, shyness is also a part. I usually get good reviews, but I'm never happy enough with them to actually post them where, (gulp), just anybody could read them. (That's actually really ridiculous of me since I'm pretty sure only about 8 people ever come here to read anything--and I know you all love me!)
I know quite a few people right now who are either pregnant or have just recently given birth, several for the first time. I have to admit that it's the first time mothers (and fathers too) that are so much fun to watch. At least one couple I know has struggled with infertility for many years and only just a couple weeks ago had a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Another couple I know is having fraternal twins without the help of any fertility treatments whatsoever. No matter what, becoming a parent for the first time is rather overwhelming.
Babies bring something with them that we seem to lack in our daily lives--an expectancy of great things to come. We lay our hopes and dreams on them, what we hope they will turn out to be, what sorts of traits will they inherit, what jobs they will get when they are grown, etc. Even most parents I know who intentionally try not to put undue pressure on their children have some sorts of expectations for them, such as getting a good education, taking some sort of extracurricular classes, whether it's dance, gymnastics, martial arts, or music lessons, or even just going to church regularly. With young children, we make those decisions for them, molding them, even ever so slightly, to our own expectations for them.
I wonder just what expectations Mary had for Jesus when she took him to be presented in the temple. Even then, I don't think she could have known what sort of Messiah he could be. Her Jewish heritage expected a warrior Messiah, one who would overthrow the oppressor with a fiery sword and angry redemption. Yet as she carries her newborn in her arms, can she truly envision him as such? I wonder.
And Mary isn't the only one with expectations for him, after all. What do Simeon and Anna expect from him? What do they see his role as Messiah to be? What about his father? His grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the rest of the Israelites? Sure, we expect great things of our children, but Messianic leadership? That's a tall order for a tiny baby.
What do we expect from a Messiah, even now? What expectations do we place on the one who comes to us in such unexpected ways?

It's official...

2008-12-17T12:46:00.004-04:00

I'm ready for Christmas to be over! I've made all the cookies and sent all the gifts, ordered to ones to come to our house, planned all the services, made the Little One's costume, and decorated as much as I care to. (No tree in our house this year folks--I'll get to that in a minute.) That means I'm done right? Right?!
Ok, so I still have to write sermons, lead those services I've planned, wrap the gifts as they trickle in from Amazon and Overstock and Apple, and do I have enough 'stuff' for the stockings? what can I get done ahead for our late night, Christmas Eve, right-after-the-service drive to the in-laws house? Too soon for laundry, don't have all the gifts ready, guess that's a big, fat "nothing."
Ah well, one week and counting. As for no tree, the stand of the one we inherited is broken and P doesn't feel like fixing it, setting it up, and decorating since we're not going to be putting presents under it as we'll be at his parents' home. I tend to agree. I have a lighted garland on the faux mantle (it's really a large shelf over the piano as we have no fireplace) and the stocking are hung there, well, all except mine which is in need of some work. Guess we have to add that to the list. It seems the more things I check off, the more I find to add to the end of the list.
On the other hand, I think we've agreed on a name for the new addition. Check.

Winding Up

2008-12-10T18:35:00.002-04:00

The official wind up for Christmas begins at church this week. We start tonight with the Diaconate team hosting a Chrismon tree decorating dinner. We'll have soup and sandwiches, a short devotion (not led by me) and then go in and decorate the tree. I accepted the request to bring a crock pot of chili (I DO make a pretty good chili, I admit) and decided to bake a loaf of bread to go with it and it's in the oven now, and smelling amazing. Let's hope that I can manage to make it out the door with the camera and then maybe I can have this year's pictures of the little one (who's really not so little any more) by the Chrismon tree again.
Sunday is the children's program, which we'll put on during worship, so that means I don't have to preach--a good thing since I seem to be more tired this week than usual (the dreary, rainy days may be a big part of that) and I can usually find an excuse to come home in the afternoons and take a nap.
Then there's session meeting in a week, then, wow, it's the fourth sunday in advent! that's the week we do gift wrapping for the church's social services christmas family and go caroling afterwards. We'll do a traditional candlelight service of nine lessons and carols on Christmas Eve. I am so proud of my youth, every one of them stepped up, from seven years old on up to seventeen to do a scripture reading that night (ok, so I think some of them were forced by their parents, but still, most of them volunteered)
At home though, we just this week got out the decorations, discovered that P will have to make a new stand for the fake tree that lost a leg in the move and so we probably won't get it up soon since he'll have to make that before we can get it up and he is planning on going out of town to visit his family this weekend so it won't happen then either. Blah. Blah, blah, blah. The tree is the one thing that makes it feel like Christmas for me, at least inside the house. (Outside, it's the neighbors who have had lights up since thanksgiving, covering every square inch of their house and yard--ok, not really, but it's quite a sight!)

Conversations with a Curmudgeon

2008-11-17T14:49:00.002-04:00

I have this wonderful old man in my congregation. He sits near the front each week in exactly the same spot. He very rarely says a word to anyone, and only ever comes to worship--that's it, nothing else, ever. He usually looks like he's sleeping during my sermons, but will sometimes surprise me with a follow-up email note about something I've said. Usually something he didn't like, but hey, I'm not easily offended, so no big.
Like I said, he doesn't talk much, but he's one of the few old folks in the church who uses email pretty well. So he'll send me a message, and again, it's usually a complaint couched in a 'suggestion.' He'd prefer worship using the KJV and no hymns written before 1900 (not said quite so overtly, but I got the hint). Ok, so that's not really my style, though I've tried not to go too radical for this church. They like traditional. I'm fine with that as long as it doesn't end up mind-numbingly boring with absolutely no room for anything new. So far, as long as I've asked my worship team or session first before I try something too crazy, most of the time people are ok with it (and of course I have the back-up of my session members!) Usually, as long as I tell them that we can just try it for a while and if it is just too horrible, we'll change it back.
Anyway, today my curmudgeon sent me an email with a link to 'youtube' (I told you this guy was hip with the techy stuff!) with the traditional music to the doxology (Old Hundredth) explaing that he prefers this tune. (We've been using the traditional words to the Tallis Canon tune lately-but I switch it up a few times a year.) I explained that I've been using the traditional tune on communion Sundays for people who feel that way that he does, so he can hear it at least once a month. Then he sent back another telling me he doesn't like all the political correctness or 'dumbing down' of scripture. I explained that what he calls political correctness I call inclusiveness. I don't think 'fishers of people' has quite the same poetic ring as 'fishers of men,' but that doesn't mean that I think women should be excluded. I laid it on the line and flat out said I dislike the KVJ because of its egregious translation errors and sexist language, going on to explain that while those were products of its time since they didn't have the scholarship or equality that we have now, I don't understand why people still insist on its use. I said a few more pastoral things about language barriers and modern understandings and trying to use words that appealed across generations, etc. I also thanked him for engaging me in these conversations, giving me his perspective and such. So far, no response. I'm anxiously awaiting it though, to be honest. This is the most I've gotten out of him thus far. I love my curmudgeon!

Truly amazing

2008-11-03T13:02:00.003-04:00

I can't believe that the end of this month is my 1 year anniversary here at SPC. Within the last year (in no particular order) I've 1) been ordained, 2) celebrated 7 years of marriage, 3) officiated over my first communion service, 4) confirmed my first teens, 4) ordained my first class of elders and deacons, 5) moderated my first session meeting, 6) voted in my first presbytery meeting (never was an elder commissioner), 7) dealt with a tornado and its aftermath (for my own home and my community), 8) begun carrying a new life to add to our family, 9) mourned the death of our beloved kitty Shove, 10) given a home to our kitten, Starbuck, 11) memorized the flight schedule for Southwest airlines from here my parents' city.
There's far more I could add. I've done lots of growing and learning. I feel I've really come far in owning my authority and identity as a pastor (especially a pregnant pastor in a presbytery where I could truly count on one hand the number of other ministers (mostly associates) who are women of childbearing age--most are men over 45 and many are much older).
So, lots going on. I still feel like there is so much good that this church and I can do together in the name of our Lord.
Here's to another great year!

Things that fit... and things that don't

2008-10-05T20:25:00.002-04:00

Right now, things at church are fitting pretty good. We're getting started for stewardship season. No 'official' campaign strategy, but we're going for a celebration of gifts theme, sorta. I'm leaning towards doing a faith pledging strategy I think that would appeal to the seemingly intensely private attitude people have towards money in our church. I just need to take this to the stewardship/finance chair and pitch the idea and see how it goes over. We shall see--not that I have any reason to think it wouldn't go over.
On the other hand, clothes that were well-fitted before are starting to get just a bit tight. My favorite black pants are not going to be wearable much longer. I feel like I should be more excited, since it means things are going along well, but I will miss all my favorite outfits and, no matter what, I can't help but just feel fat some days. But I did go ahead and dig out the old maternity stuff from almost 5 years ago now, some of which I never wore since I wasn't the right size in the right season. I washed and folded it all. Some went in the drawers, some in the closet. Some I didn't even remember I had. I won't wear most of it for probably another month or so, but it needed to be done while I could still climb around in the attic fairly easily. I did realize that I'm going to need to find some pajamas. P would get a little testy if I stretched out all his favorite flannel pants. Just sayin'.

Pieces of Peace

2008-09-29T10:16:00.002-04:00

Right now I have my iPod filled with music that brings me a sense of peace. (Mostly. There's still some Bon Jovi for the times I need energy too.) But peace seems to be a rare commodity these days. So much going on at church. The sad thing is, music in worship used to be so renewing for me. But in this congregation, it pretty much is just sad, sad, sad. The people in the congregation don't sing with any enthusiasm whatsoever. The choir is about four people on average. They rarely sing anthems. Harmony is touch and go. The men? Well, when there are any, let's just say they make a joyful noise, bless their sweet little hearts.
I'm actually thinking about suggesting that we occassionally used recorded music for certain times of the year. Maybe around Christmas we'll see how it goes over.
It's so funny though. When I was talking about doing the Lessons and Carols service for Christmas Eve, some people on the session were just amazed that the choir didn't want to do a big cantata for that service. Hello!! Are you in worship? There are four people, maybe six in the choir. None of whom are, shall we say, particularly gifted in their voices. It was actually the choir director who had suggested the lessons and carols service anyway, since she agrees that while they are dedicated, the usual suspects in the choir aren't strong enough vocally to do anything that large. Now if I could just convince the congregation that singing should be a joyful part of worship.
So, for now, I content myself with Robert Shaw or the Cambridge Singers. Little pieces of peace that invade the busyness of my day.

Where it all collides

2008-09-24T13:11:00.002-04:00

Why is it that the week I tell people I'm pregnant suddenly starts off the busiest next few weeks of my life? It's like it all exploded at once. I make the announcement at session and suddenly everyone wants a piece of my time to talk about, oh, stewardship, worship, fellowship, communications needs, you name it. I have had about six meetings already in the last 5 work days of people "stopping in to say hey" and staying for over an hour. Everyone has an agenda it seems. I guess I should have seen it coming. My one year here approaches in a couple months. Things are settling into a routine with us and people feel comfortable with me. Stewardship season is what's kicking my butt right now. I keep hearing, "We didn't do such and such for the last couple of years since we wanted to wait for the new pastor." Well, here I am so now they want to do "such and such" and I'm finding there are a lot of things that fall under that category.
On the other hand, things are going well, even if busy. They're pretty open to letting me run with my ideas as long as I ask about it first instead of just going it on my own. As long as I say, "Hey, I was thinking about doing (x)," they usually let me go ahead with it. That's been nice. I've got a great class of elders this year. Got to do my first elder/deacon installation a couple weeks ago. That was cool.
We're also gearing up for World Communion Sunday which I don't think this church has ever done before. We've been teaching them a couple of new hymns from other countries so they can have the full experience. I wish we had some people to play maracas or drum or something to jazz it up. Enthusiasm in worship is not a high priority in this congregation. I'm working on that.
Finally broke down and decided to get a PDA this week when I realized that I just had too many places to go and no way to keep it all straight unless I carried around my big planning calendar everywhere. Plus, if I'm going from one place straight to another, it might be a good idea to have all my addresses and phone numbers handy, hence the decision for a PDA. Then I could have wifi whenever I was near a hotspot too. That'd be good for email and such.
That's all. I need a nap after that marathon post. Whew!

I guess it's time

2008-09-15T09:24:00.004-04:00

This is the week I will be telling my session that they are going to have to start thinking about a maternity leave policy for me. I'm not terribly worried that they will freak, but maybe just a tiny little bit nervous, since no matter how you cut it, I'm gonna be out over Easter. I'm due the beginning of Holy Week. Oops. (Wasn't thinking that far ahead in the heat of the moment!) I don't think we'll get that far though. I think she'll make her appearance by the end of March. (FYI, I don't know if it's a girl, just hoping.)
We do have a woman who is working on her M.Div and who would certainly, I think, enjoy the chance to fill in for some or even all of that time, though we'd have to find an ordained person to come in to do communion.
I think people sort of expected this to happen sooner or later. They knew they were hiring a young woman with a young family who might want at least one more kid. We'd talked about that a little in my interviews. We'll just have to see if they panic about my leave time and being out over Holy Week and Easter. I'll have only been here about a year and 3 months by the time that swings around. Hopefully the new baby will quickly charm them into forgetting that part.
So around 7pm EST on Wed, say a quick prayer, k?

Apology NOT accepted

2008-08-27T15:39:00.003-04:00

I was attending a meeting at our Presbytery office today with several other pastors from our quadrant to learn some things about what our Exec had discovered on his learning sabbatical. It was some pretty interesting stuff, not sure it will apply to our church, but I'm willing to learn more.
Anyway, there were 5 of us total and 2 of us were women. Both of us are moms. The other lady pastor is a few years older than me, and she's been in ministry about 8 years to my 1, but I've got a year on her of being a mom. Anyway, fairly close to the end of the meeting, she gets a note from the presbytery secretary that says her son has thrown up and she needs to come back and pick him up from child care. So what does she do? She apologizes profusely for having to leave early!! I'm like, sister, your kid is sick!! You don't apologize for being his mother or for taking care of him! I flat out told her, "M! Stop! Do not apologize to us! You have nothing to be sorry for. He's sick, he needs you. Get out of here!"
Please ladies--all of you who are moms and ministers (or any other kind of professional, really). Do not ever apologize for being a parent. (Same goes for dads too, of course, but they are much less likely to overdo the guilt I've noticed.) I think it helps me that I was a mom for three years before I got into the ministry. She comes first, always. I feel no guilt about this and I was upfront about this with my PNC, and they were all very supportive of that, many of them parents themselves.
So again I say, Sister! Don't apologize for being a good parent. Just stand up, look 'em in the eye and say, "You'll have to excuse me. I have a sick child to attend to." Thank the host and just leave! Be bold!

When VBS is lame...

2008-08-19T14:43:00.003-04:00

Last week was VBS week. I've never seen one quite like this. They have a lesson for the adults too. Is that common where you're from? I've never been to a VBS that did beyond 6th or maybe 8th grade.
Let me tell you that the adult material from this highly respected company was hands down the worst lesson material I've ever seen! It was written at a high school level (yes, it was the adult curriculum, I checked) and the author told little stories of her trips down memory lane and would occasionally thrown in a question like, "what memories does this story invoke for you?" She even had activities (for adults!) like soaking cotton balls in different liquids like alcohol, ammonia, coffee, etc., and putting them in film canisters and asking people to sniff and see what memories were evoked.
So the poor Episcopal rector and I were pretty much stuck making things up as we went along. IT went ok, but I don't think it was as good as it could have been with better curriculum to point us in the right direction.
I was also pretty disappointed in the music for the kids. I've heard some pretty good VBS music in my day, this was not one of those years. This really surprises me since, like I said, this is a well know company who's been putting out VBS material for years.
Since we work VBS out with two other churches in our town, I'm not in on picking the curriculum, but for next year, I'm going to encourage our representative to look a little deeper into the material rather than picking it because the theme was cute.
Here's hoping.

Camp Nostalgia

2008-08-04T12:40:00.002-04:00

I spent last week in service to my presbytery by volunteering as Bible study leader for a week of church camp. It was fun to get away for a while. It is a rustic camp which is the kind I grew up attending, so it was great to have that bit of nostalgia. It was interesting watching the dramas unfold and remembering my own time as a counselor (and being glad I wasn't the one doing it then). I met wonderful children and wonderful staff. I met a nearby minister-colleague's daughter-- a smart, lovely college student and all around beautiful young lady. I think it weirded out a few of the college students to realize that the 'Adult, Reverend, Bible Study Leader Lady' had less than a decade on them. (I also think that most of the other adult, reverend, bible study leaders this summer had been on the brink of retirement and had come the week that their grandchildren were participating.) All around it was a good time. I am glad to be home and back in my routine and with my family again.
Speaking of family... while I was away, we got a new member. P decided that our kitty Push was lonely and so we got a kitten. They actually seem to be getting along fine after only a week. Don't have any photos yet, but I'll post some soon. We named her Starbuck. No, not after the coffee shop, after the Battlestar Gallactica character--the new series, not the old one. She's as much of a spitfire as her namesake.

Overheard today...

2008-07-26T20:51:00.004-04:00

From L:
Dear Shove and Jesus,
Jesus make Shove's body feel better so he can be happy.

(She has been 'writing' letters to Shove and Jesus all day today. She found some of my stationary and put the 'letters' in the envelopes. She doesn't quite understand that Shove won't be coming home. It's breaking my heart.)

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2008-07-25T11:23:00.005-04:00

Today did not start out well. Our Ugly Cat had to be put to sleep this morning. He had been going down hill quickly the past two or three weeks. He stopped eating well about a week or ten days ago; we tried changing him to soft food and that worked for a couple of days, but finally this morning we found him sprawled on the floor, unable to stand up. I think we knew it was approaching; he was an old kitty--we'd gotten him and his 'brother' from a shelter about 5 years ago and they were at least middle aged for kitties then. But to find him so wretched was difficult. It was particularly hard on P. Shove was really P's cat.(Shove is his real name, but we lovingly called him "the ugly cat." He looked like he'd been put together by committee.) P wouldn't even let me come to the vet with him.

It was the saddest thing I've ever seen to watch P carry his little body, wrapped in a sheet, to the hole he'd already prepared in the back yard, tears streaming. I'm choking up just writing about it. We'll go pick out something special to plant over him this weekend.

L couldn't quite understand when I told her that Shove wouldn't be here when she got home from school. I made sure to keep it simple, but she's still a little young to understand death. I think she's pretty sure that Jesus is coming to pick him up to have a play date.

Shove, you were a wonderful companion. You were as sweet as you were ugly. We will miss you very much.

Friday Five: Summer Camp

2008-07-11T11:41:00.005-04:00

I haven't done a Friday Five in ages! But this one is full of great memories, so I just had to play along. Thanks to Mother Laura over at RevGalBlogPals for providing the inspiration:Mother Laura says:
"We're settling into our new new apartment, and after a lifetime at Montessori Katie is having a fantastic summer at YMCA day camp. Meanwhile, Nicholas is packing up for a week at Camp Julian, shared by the Episcopal dioceses of Los Angeles and San Diego. His lists of supplies and rules--except for the ropes course available to the teenagers and the ban on IPODs and cell phones--bring back memories of my own happy times weeks at Y camp Ta Ta Pochon, funded by selling countless cases of butter toffee peanuts. So, in celebration of summer, please share your own memories and preferences about camp."

1. Did you go to sleep away camp, or day camp, as a child? Wish you could? Or sometimes wish you hadn't?
I went to sleep away camp. Here's the thing. My dad was an avid camper and even helped to create from the ground up the camp that now serves the presbytery we were living in at the time. I was immersed from the beginning.

2. How about camping out? Dream vacation, nightmare, or somewhere in between?
Well, I like camping out, for sure. However, as I age, my back doesn't always agree. Sleeping on the ground can be a nightmare. But I still love sleeping under the stars, cooking over a campfire, etc. So, somewhere in between.

3. Have you ever worked as a camp counselor, or been to a camp for your denomination for either work or pleasure?
Of course. Two summers in college as a counselor. Going for a week as a bible study leader for current presbytery in August.

4. Most dramatic memory of camp, or camping out?
I'm gonna have to let that one stay undisclosed.

5. What is your favorite camp song or songs? Bonus points if you link to a recording or video.
"I wish I were a (name of camp) counselor. Oh that is what I'd really like to be. But if I weren't a (name of camp) counselor, a ___ is what I'd be." This involved much hilarity and creativity in coming up with new blank fillers and their respective costumes/actions/sound effects.

Church: Unfiltered

2008-06-16T12:59:00.006-04:00

I keep getting this image of church and the gospel being run through a Brita filter. Like we take out all the nasty tasting stuff until it tastes really good going down, making it easier to swallow.
I've been in a number of small churches around the country over my life and the ones that were dwindling in membership seemed to have one thing in common. They were too 'nice.' They didn't want to hold people accountable to the gospel, they didn't want to ask people to do hard things in the name of Jesus. They were incredibly apologetic. They were "sorry to ask," but could so-and-so do such-and-such for the church. We're always sorry as though church itself has become a burden to people. As though it's importance is less than that of family and work and hobbies. It makes me want to scream! In fact, I think I will...
STOP BEING SORRY!!!
Thanks for letting me get that out. On with the tirade...
Jesus was never sorry for telling people the hard truth. Why should we be? Why do we think we need to apologize for asking people to serve and to give? We had to pull teeth to find people to be on this year's officer slate. Why is service Christ and the church such a burden? Where are our priorities? And why am I the only one in my church asking these questions? Why aren't our leaders calling people to task? Some of my committee chairs have no committees because they are so worried that they will overburden someone or offend them somehow by asking them to take on something else, even in the name of Christ.
Are we Christians or what? If we can't even find time to serve, how can we claim that title? Sitting on our butts for an hour once a week is not all there is to being Christian. Yes, worship is a part of it, but so is service, so is study, so is making disciples. We can't choose one over the others.
If we filter what the gospel says, it's not the gospel anymore. Jesus comes not to bring peace, but the sword. That's hard to swallow. That doesn't taste good to our 21st century, status-quo tongues. Let's just drink our filtered water. We're sorry about that Jesus guy. He kind of embarrasses us middle-class, middle Americans. Jesus can be down right tacky at times. And we don't want our children to hang around tacky people, much less follow them around and emulate them, use them as role models. We're sorry Jesus asks you to give your money to the poor rather than spend it on a new fishing boat. We're sorry that the church needs your help and your time to serve Christ as we've been called to do. We're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry.
I'm hoping I can encourage our church's leaders to call people to task. They need to get out there, hold members accountable. Don't be sorry for asking for help, or for making people uphold their baptismal vows, or for helping them to fulfill the Great Commission.
So I have officer training this weekend. Can you guess what we'll be talking about?

I Get a Break This Week!

2008-06-10T16:09:00.002-04:00

Our Executive Presbyter has offered to come and preach here just to give me a break after our local disaster a few weeks ago. We've been working pretty hard around here to offer what aid we can and so I've had a few (she says sarcastically) extra responsibilities around here. Have I mentioned that I don't have a secretary at this church?
So I get a week without sermon prep. Of course, I should probably use this chance to start looking ahead, something I don't usually have the chance to do much of.
Then there's vacation. I have officially purchased the plane tickets. Ontario, here we come! Gotta leave the spouse behind; he doesn't have enough vacation accrued at the new job yet. I hate that for him, as he needs it more than any of us right now. His new job is horrible as far as vacation time 8 days! and no personal or sick leave!!!) and not to mention they sorta fibbed about what he'd been hired to do. I have to admit that I love the vacation time that we pastors get. I suppose we need it though or we'd all go nuts.

Long time, no post

2008-06-01T20:46:00.002-04:00

I didn't realize that my last post had been the day of the infamous happening. I suppose I've wanted to post a few times about that, but it would be a little bit too telling for what is supposed to be a rather anonymous blog. We've recovered well from said happening; life is returning to whatever passes for normal in our house.
I've been neck-deep in confirmation the past several weeks. We do not have the time or resources to do a year long study, so we have developed our own curriculum to do in 10-12 weeks. It's a small group of kids, so this works pretty well. We meet for two hours each week and they seem like they are getting most of what we're teaching. Of course, there is plenty of repetition, they are only 13 after all.
P had a great b-day. I surprised him with a party at a friend's house. I even surprised him with his gift that I had convinced him he wasn't getting. (An electric guitar pedal--that he is super-de-duper psyched about, I might add.)
I'm starting a bible study group this week that I'm modeling after one I co-created in ATL. It only meets twice a month, Fri. evenings in a coffee shop. Aimed at my generation and a little older, though I'm getting a surprising # of my retirees saying they want to come. Cool!! It is going to focus on faith and culture. We'll be using a lot of the "Thoughtful Christian" material and some of the other shorter studies that focus on faith as it relates to our world, politics, media, etc. So I guess it's not technically a Bible study, it'll be more of a faith study. I'm excited to get it started. It's the sort of things that feeds my faith too, so even though I'm leading (at least the first one) I will still be able to renew my spirit.

Pentecost

2008-04-28T13:06:00.003-04:00

This is the article I wrote for our church's monthly newsletter:

Pentecost. This may be my favorite Holy Day of the church year. For me, it infuses the worship service with an energy that can often be sadly absent the rest of the year. Don’t be surprised to come into the sanctuary that day (May 11) and find it ablaze with the fire of the Holy Spirit.

So what is Pentecost exactly? It’s often referred to as the birthday of the church. Ten days after Jesus ascended into heaven, the twelve apostles, Jesus' mother and family, and many other of his disciples gathered together in Jerusalem for the Jewish harvest festival that was celebrated on the fiftieth day of Passover, called “The Feast of Weeks”. While they were indoors praying, a sound like that of a rushing wind filled the house and tongues of fire descended and rested over each of their heads. This was the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on humanity promised by God through the prophet Joel (Joel 2:28-29). The disciples were suddenly empowered to proclaim the gospel of the risen Christ. They went out into the streets of Jerusalem and began preaching to the crowds gathered for the festival. Not only did the disciples preach with boldness and vigor, but by a miracle of the Holy Spirit they spoke in the native languages of the people present, many of whom had come from all corners of the Roman Empire. This created a sensation. The apostle Peter seized the moment and addressed the crowd, preaching to them about Jesus' death and resurrection for the forgiveness of sins. The result was that about three thousand converts were baptized that day. (You can read the Biblical account of Pentecost in Acts 2:1-41).

In short, it is the celebration of the gift of the Holy Spirit given to the church. Through the Word and Sacraments, the Holy Spirit gives us the power to believe and trust in Christ as our Savior. This gift of faith in the saving work of Jesus Christ is the reason Pentecost is the third "mega-festival" of the church (the other two are, of course, Christmas and Easter) and why we celebrate it with such joy and thanksgiving.[i]

We believe that the Spirit also brings the gifts of wisdom and discernment. You will always hear me invoke the presence of the Spirit before I read Scripture, so that we will hear and understand God’s word to us, and be empowered and inspired to share it with others.

Lastly, it is also an affirmation of our belief in a Triune God. As Presbyterians, we sometimes think we’d rather leave the exuberance of the Holy Spirit to those arm-waving, ‘Amen!’ shouting Baptists and Pentecostals. But without the gift of faith given to us in the Spirit, we could not have found the gift of life and salvation it leads to in Christ. If you ask me, that calls for an ‘Amen!’ no matter what denomination you’re in.

The Spirit isn’t just about boisterous alter calls and speaking in tongues. It represents the power of God in our lives. It comes to EM-power us, giving us the gift of witness and discipleship. It can be as gentle as a breeze or as mighty as a hurricane. It can always move you to marvelous things—if you let it. So I challenge you to let it. Open your arms to receive the Spirit and ask that it work through you to empower others in Christ's love as well.

[i] http://www.stpaulskingsville.org/pentecost.htm

Sermon: "If You Love Me..."

2008-04-26T18:18:00.010-04:00

This also happens to be my 100th post. Happy postiversary to me!

"If You Love Me..."
by Rivkah
John 14:15-21

“If You Love Me…”

During my many summers at camp, both as camper and counselor, we often played a game called, “Honey, if you love me, please, please smile.” The object was to get someone to smile, but you could only do it by saying those words. No jokes, no tickling or other touching, just things like making faces or saying the words with a silly accent.

As a shy thirteen year-old, I would melt into the wall at the mere mention of those words. I’d find any excuse to get away. For me, hearing those words brings back a flood of negative emotions, mostly “Oh my God, I might have to talk to a boy, a cute boy, while everyone else is staring at me.” That’s the stuff of nightmares right there folks. I’ve been forced to play it a few times in my life, but I’m not sure I ever got anyone to smile. Of course, I was so petrified, I’m not sure anyone got me to smile either. I still hate that game to this day.

Of course, those words aren’t merely a game. “If you love me…” It’s almost always said in a coercive manner. “If you really loved me, you’d… fill in the blank.” Every father warns his little girl about that line. Teenagers turn it back on their parents to get what they want. Partners hurl it back and forth like stinging darts. The unspoken but under-lying meaning of the statement being, since you’re not doing whatever it was in that blank, you apparently don’t love me, and if you don’t love me, I’ll be angry and I won’t love you. In essence, it’s a lightly veiled threat. The person making the threat is usually trying to gain the upper hand, get something for him- or herself.

So what was Jesus after, throwing out that kind of statement?! Well, let’s go back for a minute. In the passage we read from John, the disciples are scared. They are scared because Jesus has told them that he will soon leave them, that soon he will no longer be among them to lead them, inspire them, guide them, teach them. And the disciples are wondering just what they are going to do without him. They have given up three years of their lives to follow Jesus; they love Jesus, and they know that EVERYTHING is going to change when he is gone.

Jesus is trying to allay their fears, so he says to the disciples, “Just because I am not here in person doesn’t mean that I won’t be with you. You think EVERYTHING is going to change, but I say, NOTHING is going to change. Your goals for life and discipleship should be absolutely the same. Just because you can’t reach out and touch me doesn’t mean that you can’t love me. Even when I am not with you, continue to love me! Love me, show your love for me by following my commandments. Love me by preaching what I have preached. Love me by living as I have lived. You will never be orphans. You are children of God! You will never be alone, the Holy Spirit will always be with you. Keep doing what God wants you to do.”

“If you love me, follow my commandments.” It’s not coercive; it’s simple. Rather than trying to gain something for himself with this statement, he is giving them a gift. The gift of his presence in the Holy Spirit. Keep Jesus’ commandments and the disciples will know his love by loving others.

It might help to remind you what Jesus’ commandments are. He first revealed them when the Pharisees were trying one of their many theological traps on him. They wanted him to reveal which of the ten commandments was the greatest. Of course they intended to trick him so they could make a fool of him and get rid of him in disgrace. But Jesus counters with something totally unexpected. “The greatest commandment is this,” he says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” But he goes on, saying, “And the second is like it, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The Pharisees are stunned, rather than quoting one of the familiar laws, he has boiled down the entire Torah, the whole of Jewish law, into two rules.

A few months ago I got an e-mail with a very simple joke of the bumper-sticker variety included. “If you love Jesus, tithe. Anyone can honk.” It’s a good joke because it is absolutely true. And it is the crux of what Jesus is saying here: “If you love me, obey. Anyone can honk. If you love me, if you get what I’m talking about, do something special. Believe. Obey.”

I don't use that "O" word lightly. It is a word heavy with all kinds of baggage. But it is, with God, a Good word. We are free to obey. We get the choice. We obey not because we are coerced, not because we are forced, but because we are loved and forgiven and therefore we obey in gratitude. It’s a different kind of freedom than we are used to thinking about. We usually think about freedom in terms of being free from this or that. Free from oppression, free from prison, free from slavery, free from fear. This a certainly a good kind of freedom, but it is not what God has given us. We are given freedom for. For telling the good news, for showing God’s love to others, for being faithful, obedient disciples. And that’s why we obey, because we have been given that freedom.

Obey is one of those unpopular concepts because it has been used to belittle and limit others. I think though, that Jesus is talking about obey in the sense of a sonnet. A sonnet with its fourteen lines of iambic pentameter and rhyme scheme has rules. Within these rules is the greatest freedom imaginable to create image and emotion that can only be created when you commit to the rules. That’s the kind of obey Jesus is talking about here.

Believe it or not, this is Jesus way of saying goodbye to his disciples. This is his farewell speech. It’s a little wordy for what it is. But he’s trying to make sure they’ve gotten the important points of his ministry before he has to leave. Namely, that they won’t be alone once he’s no longer visible to their earthly eyes. They will be united with him in heaven through the Spirit, the one he calls their Advocate. The Spirit will stay with them forever, uniting them to Father and Son for all time.

Keeping Jesus’ commandments will be something of a sign for those who want Jesus to be revealed to them when he comes again. He says to them, “you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.” Those who keep his commandments will see Jesus revealed.

In John’s time, secret societies were everywhere. In fact, some groups of Christians had to keep themselves in secret in order to remain safe. So if the language here sounds like something from an exclusive club, it’s a product of its time. Remember, John is talking to an audience who has been excluded from the Jewish temple for their beliefs. He is reminding them that they have their own place to be included, in the heavenly kingdom where Jesus will reign with the Father. In order to be a part of the kingdom, John wants them to understand that they have to believe and obey the commandments that Jesus put in place. “Those who keep my commandment are those who love me.”

Love is the order of the day here. Jesus says that only those who love him will be loved by his Father. Those who are loved by the Father will see Jesus revealed and he will live in them through the Spirit. But the secret handshake, the outward sign of this love is to keep Jesus’ commandments. That’s what this love is all about.

Jesus is about to leave and in order for more people to know him and know about him, someone has to continue his works, continue showing his love for others and for God. That’s why he tells them to keep his commandments, so that others may know him and live in him and perpetuate the cycle until Christ has been revealed to all and in all.

If we did not love Christ, we could not obey his commandments. We would be unable to do so. I think that is where the exclusivity comes from. It’s not a shutting out of others, as Christ invites all to his table. But if we do not come to the table with love, we cannot find what we need for fulfillment. So not everyone comes, or they may not come with love. That is why I think Jesus is telling them that keeping his commandments for love are so necessary to be believers.

It is so important that he is even sending the one he calls the Advocate, whom we call the Holy Spirit. He says, “This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.” John tells his readers that Jesus realizes that not everyone accepts the way they believe; they are not ready for the spirit of truth. But they already have this Spirit within them. The truth has already been revealed to them and so they are asked to carry out Jesus’ commandments so that others might see the truth revealed in them.

Jesus might not be there to lead them in the flesh, but the Spirit will show them the way if they only remember to follow his commandments to love God and love others. We too, have the Spirit with us and within us. We only have to follow the commandments to love God and love others and Christ will be revealed through us and to us.

We may not be a secret society, but we are set apart. Just as we read last week, we are a chosen race, a holy nation, a royal priesthood of believers. God has chosen us to reveal Christ in our love for him. Not just anybody can do that, only the ones who obey the commandments to love. We obey because we know we are loved even when we don’t obey. That is how we show that we are set apart. As the old hymn says, “They will know we are Christians by our love.” When we love with the Spirit that Christ has given us, we reveal his presence with us and in us. And we will not be alone, for Christ has promised that he will be in us, and we will be in him. Glory be to God! Amen.

Talk about your bad timing...

2008-04-19T15:55:00.002-04:00

I didn't realize it had been so long since I'd blogged. I guess moving will do that to a girl. Vacation was great. L and I flew to see my parents, sister, grandmothers and various other relatives that all live in the same city. Lots of fun. We went to the zoo, we did LOTS of shopping (I got the grandmother treatment and came home with a whole new work wardrobe), and did lots of visiting.
Then we came home to a new house with lots of boxes to unpack. So for 10 days we've been working on it as much as we can in the evenings and on Saturdays. (Sundays are, of course, a working day in our household.) Then, this past Wednesday, just after I've gotten out of bed, I start to head downstairs to get a clean towel out of the dryer... and I slip on the carpeted stairs... and I fall down about 5 steps to the landing... and break my big toe on my right foot.
Now if you've ever broken a toe, you know there's not a darned thing you can do about it except maybe buddy tape it and wear that big ugly velcro shoe for a few weeks. I have crutches, but the doc said I can do whatever doesn't hurt, so it's easier to walk on the side of my foot than use them. Yes, I'm driving. I'm trying not to walk too much, not because it hurts my toe, but because it hurts the outside edge of my foot that I have to walk on. Can I do much unpacking? Let's just say that I don't want to see P have an aneurysm.
However, he's been a maniac getting things done today. We (he-I just supervised) got more done today than in the entire past week. I can't tell you how much cardboard and packing paper we've recycled today alone. We can finally eat at our kitchen table. The living room is almost livable. Props to L too, usually a very underfoot preschooler, she played very sweetly in her room for most of the day and stayed out of the way.
Now I just have to write a sermon... sigh.

A Million Dollar Friday Five

2008-03-28T08:40:00.002-04:00

Over at RevGals, Singing Owl posted this up:
Lingering effects of a cold have me watching more television than usual. There appears to be a resurgence of the old daytime staple--the quiz show. Except they are on during prime time, and a great many of them offer the chance of winning one million dollars.
I think it started with Regis Philbin and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" but now we have a half dozen or so.
My husband and I started musing (after watching "Deal or No Deal") about what we could do with a million dollars. I thought I'd just bring that discussion into the Friday Five this week. It's simple. What are five things you would want to do with a million dollar deposit in your bank account?

1. Pay off the mortgage.

2. Travel the world, bringing along friends and family

3. Taking a page from cathy's book, I'd give a tithe to the church, but like her, I'd want it to be allocated for something special.

4. Invest for kid's college, retirement, etc.

5. Donate to some of my favorite charities.

Bonus: If there's a little left over, obviously it will go for SHOES!

Good Friday... it was indeed.

2008-03-22T08:25:00.003-04:00

We had a lovely community Good Friday service. I have to admit that I was the one who prepared the service. I daresay that creativity is not the strong suit of my ministerial colleagues. Maundy Thursday could have been any other communion service I've ever been to. We did the solemn reproaches of the cross out of the Book of Common Worship and darkened the sanctuary and removed the paraments and draped the cross. Then we sang "Were You There When They Crucified My Lord?" with a guitar, entirely in the dark. Then we left in silence. I saw not a few eyes sparkling with tears on the way out. That is when I love my job.
I like Maundy Thursday with the remembrance of the Last Supper and Passover. I've never done a foot washing, and I have to admit that I can't say I want to. I am one of those people who get the willies about other people's feet. I always wear flip-flops in showers at hotels, gyms, etc. Some people find it very humbling. I'd just find it gross. Maybe that makes me a bad person, or at least a bad pastor. But I'm sure it's just one thing in a long list.
But I love Good Friday. I love a tenebrae service, the descending into darkness. I reminded my congregation on Sunday that we simply cannot have a resurrection without a death. To skip from Palm Sunday to Easter is doing a great disservice to the one who suffered and died for us. We have to take the time to remember the bad in order to appreciate the great good. To me, it is one of the most meaningful services of the year. We need to be a little uncomfortable in church sometimes, probably more than we are most times.
Have a blessed Easter everyone.

Holy Week?

2008-03-14T13:04:00.004-04:00

It seem to me that Holy Week is often the least holy week of all for us pastors. We go crazy trying to plan as many as 5 services for some (I'm planning 3.5) and making sure someone ordered palms, someone has the fabric to drape the cross, maybe you're doing a tenebrae? someone's gotta know how to work the lights. Got baptisms and/or communion on Easter? Gotta plan for those. It's enough to make a girl take the name of the Lord in vain once or twice, I tell ya.
Our church does community Holy Week services with two other churches in town. We switch out locations and who is doing the preaching, though those do not coincide (i.e.- the G.F. service is at our church, I am in charge of the bulletins, but I am not preaching) So, I have no idea what the other pastor is preaching on (yes, I've asked) and I have to prepare the rest of the service around that. I fully intend to pester him again on Monday or Tuesday so I can get those bulletins done ahead and move on to Easter. Turns out our church always hosts Easter sunrise since we have the largest and prettiest outdoor property. Also turns out that I'm preaching for that. 7 a.m. Have I ever told you how much NOT of a morning person I am? Until we move at the end of the month, I have to drive half an hour to get to the church. That means I have to leave by about 6:15. I don't even get up by 6:15 most days. I'm going to have to be up by about 5 to get ready. I really think this must be some sort of divine punishment for something, though I know not what. So what I really want to know is, how tacky is it to give a sermon with a cup of Starbuck's in one hand?

Sermon, Lent 5: Can These Bones Live?

2008-03-08T23:07:00.002-04:00

Can These Bones Live?

by Rivkah

Ezekiel 37:1-14; Romans 8:6-11; John 11:1-45

I don’t know about any of you, but I got a terrible case of spring fever this week. Temperatures soaring into the 70’s, daffodils everywhere, knowing that by the end of this month, I will have a garden to plant in. It made it very hard to sit inside and work on this sermon, I tell you. I wanted to be out soaking up the sunshine, getting my hands in the dirt. I spent quite a lot of time pouring over seed catalogs this week, wondering what I would like to grow this season.

There is nothing more satisfying in spring than to see the tiny heads of seedlings poking their verdant heads out of the black dirt, reaching for the warm sun and knowing that come summer they will delight with the radiant color of flowers or the delicious bite of vegetables. But I admit, I am not a patient or even terribly skilled gardener. What I grow survives mostly by the grace of God. I do try to pick things that aren’t terribly fussy or fragile, but that’s about it. But each year as I pick out new plants to try, I envision with hope a bright and lush garden filled with color and flavor.

These images of spring and bringing forth life out of the seemingly dead ground swirled in my head as I read this week’s scriptures. I hear the dry twigs and grass rattling and rustling and I can hear the dry bones rattling too. The imagery in the Ezekiel text is wonderful. Rattling bones, the sinews and flesh returning to their frames. A little gory maybe, but beautiful in its own way.

When God is preparing to bring life to the bones, he tells the prophet that not only will the bones live, but they will also know that Yahweh is Lord. Those statements inherently belong together. Living and knowing Yahweh are practically synonymous. That is how we live, by knowing who Yahweh is.[i] And it follows that if those bones do indeed know who Yahweh is that they will praise him as well. And how could they not? Knowing Yahweh is to know what wondrous things Yahweh has done, like bringing life to dead, dry bones. Praise God, indeed!

Ezekiel is wandering among those bones, commanding them to get up. “Oh, bones! Hear the word of the Lord!” he tells them. He explains that they will have their sinews and flesh returned, that God will give them breath, spirit, life, but most important, that they will know that Yahweh is Lord. And to know that Yahweh is Lord is to praise him, praise him with the very breath that Yahweh gave to them.

Ezekiel is offering hope to the exiled Israelites with this story of resurrected bones. The prophet makes sure there is no misunderstanding by telling them straight out that the bones represent the people of Israel and that their resurrection represents their homecoming. They will be returned to their former lives, no longer dead in captivity, away from their homeland and their God. God will restore their breath, their spirit and because of this, they will use that very breath and spirit to praise Yahweh and rejoice in his name.

How foolish this must have looked. The Lord's prophet, standing in the middle of a pile of dead bones, is telling them not to give up hope. If I was Ezekiel, I would have gently suggested that the Lord first bring these bones back to life, and then I'll do a little preaching. "See," I'd say, "See what God can do?" But that is not the way of God, who calls us to believe without seeing. That is because the Lord's words always make room for hope. And it is the hope that brings us back to life. Hope rises up from our bones, and chooses to believe in spite of how it is.

Walter Brueggemann has written that hope proclaims that the way things appear is precarious. So we dare not absolutize the present. Don't take it too seriously. Don't bank on today because it will not last. Thus, hope is revolutionary. [ii]

Jesus is commanding the dead to live again too. His aim too, is that by raising the dead, the living might praise God’s name. But before he gets to that point, he has to make his way back to Bethany where his good friend Lazarus has been buried. His disciples are pretty sure that’s not a good idea.

I don’t know if Jesus had spring fever, but his disciples undoubtedly thought he had some kind of illness, wanting to go back to the place where he had just almost been stoned to death. Not only that, but he’s claiming he can raise a man dead already for a few days. Many of them went, I’m sure, out of sheer curiosity, that outweighing their fear of the stoning.

Did you catch the part in the reading where Thomas, always the doubter and cynic, says, “Let’s go too, so we can die with him?” You’ve got to hear it with the extra side of sarcasm that this is delivered with. They’re going back to Judea where some of the local Jews just tried to stone him, and Thomas is pretty sure that they’ll succeed this time if they go back. But Jesus wants to go to Mary and Martha’s so that he can raise his friend and their brother, Lazarus, from the dead and “so that they may believe,” he tells them.

No one really understands what is at stake here. The disciples don’t think it is safe to go back, and Jesus has to spell out that Lazarus is dead after they completely miss his sleeping metaphor. When they do arrive, Martha is baffled and doesn’t grasp the immediacy of what is about to happen. The mourners are miffed that he didn’t prevent the death of Lazarus in the first place. And good old practical Martha again, at the tomb, is a little wary of opening the grave, because of the smell of a body dead for four days.

I’ve always wondered if Jesus wasn’t testing the waters a little here with the raising of Lazarus, seeing how people would react to the idea of reanimating a dead body. Would they believe that such a thing was possible, even after seeing it with their own eyes? Some yes, some no, it would seem. No one understands. No one expects that life can come out of death. No one grasps that Jesus himself is the life-giving power of God.

There is so much protesting before the resurrection of Lazarus that you might think that these people didn’t want Jesus to bring Lazarus back to life. And I daresay that most of them probably did not. That would completely upset the natural way of things. Smelly, decomposing corpses are not supposed to stand up and walk around again. I imagine that the very idea of that sort of upset of reality invoked extreme discomfort and fear.

The lectionary doesn’t actually have us read what happens next, but I’m going to tell you that not all of those Jews believed in Jesus because of what happened. Some of them went off to tell the religious authorities about what he’d done. They were very frightened of this man who had the power even to bring life from death. The authorities respond the only way they know, with violence. Not only do they begin the plotting of Jesus’ own death, but the religious leaders are even plotting to get rid of Lazarus.

There is not much rejoicing at the raising of Lazarus. Even Mary and Martha are a little stunned at this unnatural turn of events. Martha has said that she indeed believes that there will be a resurrection in the end times, but this is absolutely not what she expected. It turns out to be a menace to those who think they control the future. It turns out that this story of the giving of life then leads to a story of death. We know what is coming in the next couple of weeks; we know that this resurrection is just a prelude to the one that is to come.

Now the disciples and the others have seen the power of God to raise the dead. This will give them a glimmer of hope when Jesus himself is in the tomb. Jesus’ resurrection is the ultimate display of this power. Death and sin are defeated once and for all. And that enormity is what so frightened the religious leaders. In the face of God’s power, they saw how powerless they themselves truly were. They who believed themselves to be the ultimate authority in the religious world were brought to their knees by the power of God as displayed through Jesus and his raising of Lazarus from the dead.

We, too, are powerless. Powerless to solve the problems of sin and death, to overcome them on our own. God and only God has power over them. God can bring flesh and bone together. God can bring Lazarus out of the tomb, God can erase the power of sin.

The apostle Paul told the believers in Rome that the one "who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit that dwells in you" (Rom. 8:11). The church has always found its life not in what it sees today but in the Spirit of the God who raises dead hopes. The day we lose our ability to envision a better tomorrow is the day we deny that we really believe in the resurrection.

So we will take our stand beside Ezekiel and proclaim our hope to the dry bones. "Thus, says the Lord, I will cause breath to enter you and you shall live!" You who gave up hope, who gave up dreaming--who have settled for a comfortably routine life of work, bills, and dirty laundry. You who think your best years are behind you. You who think the Lord God has forgotten all about your little life.

To you, we say, "Arise!" Arise from the heap of discarded dreams. Arise to discover that the Holy Spirit is breathing life back into you. Arise to live with magnificent hope! Because the world is dying for you to believe God is not done. Amen![iii]

[i] Brueggemann, Cousar, Gaventa, Newsome. Texts for Preaching: Year A. Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1995.

[ii] Craig Barnes "Resurrected hopes - Living by the Word - Ezekiel - Brief Article - Excerpt". Christian Century. Feb 27, 2002. FindArticles.com. 08 Mar. 2008. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_5_119/ai_84054088

[iii] ibid.

Home Sweet Home

2008-03-03T13:43:00.004-04:00

We finally got an offer accepted on a house. Not the one I originally posted about though. That fell through for some reason having to do with it being a "flipped" house and the fact that no one will finance those right now. So, we found one that we like even better. It's a little bigger, has a fenced yard and the attic is ready to be insulated and drywalled and made into P's "man cave." He's so excited to have that project. He's been telling me all the things he's going to do up there. It's good too, because that means we can use the third bedroom as an actual guest room. He can go up there and play his guitar and not bother us downstairs.
I can't wait to have a garden again. I start drooling just thinking of the tomatoes I'll get to have the end of this summer.
We close the end of this month, so by April, we'll be homeowners. The dog will have a yard to play in and L will have her own room again. We also live two doors down from the playground that is on our cul-de-sac. It's a nice, quiet side street, about half a mile from L's pediatrician, just down the road from the hospital. The neighborhood is just across the highway from the YMCA, a great local coffee shop, and the area is being built up left and right. And it's also a good 15-20 minutes closer to my office and L's preschool. Can you tell I'm excited?!
Ok, gotta get back after it. Let's see, Holy Week, Easter, Confirmation, Spiritual Gifts workshops... yep, they're all still waiting in various stages of undoneness.

Putting my foot down

2008-02-19T09:55:00.003-04:00

After agonizing over how in the fireplace I was gonna cram confirmation into 8 weeks, I finally called up my Ch. Ed. chair and said, "No way. It ain't gonna happen. Give me 12 weeks at the least." So I got 12 weeks, even without a fight--he actually agreed that this worked better after I explained what we'd have to miss and skim over if we tried to do it in 8. I feel better now. It isn't the best scenario, but it beats 8 weeks by a lot. 12 weeks I think I can do. If anybody has any great suggestions for curriculum or things to do with middle schoolers-please send them my way. Working with Jr. High kids is NOT my gift.

confirmation

2008-02-17T17:51:00.004-04:00

I am spending my last remaining hours of total quiet trying to get down an outline for the confirmation class that I was told I would be leading after Easter. (didja catch how I was told that's when I would be doing it, rather than asked when it would be a good time for me?) Course, I was also told that in order to keep things from conflicting with finals and summer vacations, etc., I would have 8 weeks to do it. 8 weeks!! I can't imagine how we're going to get into all of the important things in 8 weeks. We'll barely skim the surface! Yikes!
Ok, well, that being said. I'm trying to figure out what is most important and how to work it all in. Now, working with middle schoolers is not my forte, but our Christian Ed. team decided that I needed to be in on this. At least my committee chair is also a parent and will be helping out with this endeavor. It will be an adventure!
Right? (crickets chirping.......)

Alone at Last

2008-02-15T20:42:00.002-04:00

I had almost forgotten what silence sounds like. I like it. P is taking L to visit his parents this weekend. I get the place to myself--well, and the dog and two cats, but they don't talk much. I can sleep in, at least as much as my internal alarm and a hungry dog will allow. I can work, uninterrupted on whatever project I choose--knitting socks or a throw, reading a book, or I suppose cleaning the bathroom or finishing my sermon (but hey, a girl has to have priorities!).
I'm sure it won't take too long though before I start to crave human interaction. I'm sure I'll think of a couple of errands I'll need to run rather than finish writing a sermon tomorrow.
Now, off to watch something that isn't animated!

2008-02-11T17:04:00.000-04:00

We put in an offer for a house today. Everyone send prayers that it's accepted. We found out that there is at least one other offer on the table, so here's hoping they like ours best. I'll definitely keep this updated with how that goes. I can't wait to get out of our teeny tiny apt. and finally have all our stuff out of storage.
In other (older) news, I did end up with 15-20 people at my Ash Wed. service--way more than I expected. I was going to be happy with 6 or 8. So that was encouraging.
Oops! Gotta run, didn't realize it was time to go get L from preschool. More later...

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down

2008-02-04T18:50:00.000-04:00

I actually got my liturgy for Ash Wed. done today (two days ahead-gasp!) I'm going to burn some palm-like grass that grows behind our apartment since I guess no one saved the palms from last year. No big. If I get desperate, there's always old hymnals laying around (inside joke). I'm just hoping that someone besides me and P show up. I don't have a congregation that is much for showing up outside of Sunday mornings. Gotta work on that. Maybe they just haven't been inspired? Dunno.
I did have coffee with our realtor today. He had a much bigger list of prospects than I expected, so I'm going to weed through them and maybe even go look at a few on Friday. Wow! This is moving fast now. Petty exciting.
I find myself now a mentor to an inquirer for ministry. She is a second career and taking all her classes online right now. I'm curious to see how that will work out. I look forward to guiding her through the process and hopefully helping to make it a good deal smoother than mine was.
Got a stack of new books in the mail today from Upper Room press. Can't wait to dig in. A couple are for my inquirer, though I wanted to read them before getting her a copy. I don't like to give away books that I haven't read, even if they come recommended to me from someone else.
Hope everyone has party plans for Mardi Gras. In honor of my Louisiana childhood I say, "Laissez les bons temps rouler!"

Together at last!

2008-01-30T13:29:00.000-04:00

Finally, after about two and a half months, P is coming to live up here permanently. He found a job and will begin soon. Though his old company is seriously courting him with promises of enough work to keep him busy remotely. I guess we'll have to see how much he loves this new job, 'cause I'm pretty sure they'd give him the old one back in a heartbeat. But I guess it's always good to have a back-up!
We're pretty excited about looking for a house so we can finally be settled and get our things out of storage. I'll be glad to have a yard for the dog again and enough space to turn around without a cat, dog or kid under my feet all the time. Yay!

Sermon: Recalculating

2008-01-30T13:09:00.001-04:00

Texts: Isaiah 9:1-4; 1 Cor. 1:10-18; Matt. 4:12-23

When I was getting ready to move up here from Atlanta, one of the things I got for myself was a GPS unit. I found a good deal on a nice Garmin and thought it might come in handy for not only getting to know the area, but getting me around to other churches in the presbytery for meetings and such. I call it my magic box, since it seems as if by magic that it knows where I am and how to get me where I’m going.

I knew I was getting brave the day I decided to go a way home that was not what my box suggested. It doesn’t matter really, as it will figure out quickly where I am and design a new route from there. Whenever I take a turn that it has not laid out for me, a voice, a nice alto female, comes over the speaker and tells me, “recalculating.” It may be my imagination, but sometimes she sounds a bit testy that I’m not following her directions and she has to figure out a new way home.

When I first was learning the roads, since none around here are straight, I sort of had to go on faith that my magic box knew where I was going, since I generally had no idea. There were, in fact, a couple of times that it was wrong. See, you can type in street addresses, but it also has a database of gazillions of retail locations. You can tell it you want to find a fast food place and then narrow it down by type of food and further by specific chain. So I only have to push a couple of buttons to find the nearest Chic-fil-A or Starbucks. And it has lots of other types of stores in its memory, though like most people, it apparently isn’t a faultless one.

I had used the location by name finder, typing in ‘Borders’ and it told me where I could find the nearest one. I followed the directions laid out for me by my magic box, peering around intently when it told me “approaching destination” only to find there was not a Borders in sight. It seemed to think that the Borders-owned Waldenbooks inside the mall was an appropriate substitute, which was not at all what I had had in mind. So even with satellite-guided electronics there are still sometimes I just have to go on faith that it’s going to take me where I need to be.

That’s pretty much what the fishermen who went with Jesus had to do too. They had to go on faith that he was the Messiah, they only had John’s word at that point, and that he would indeed take them where they needed to go to be fishers of people. Remember, they hadn’t seen any miracles or heard him preach yet. All they’ve heard is Jesus calling out, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

Pretty strong words for a guy who is still pretty much unknown at this point. Jesus is just beginning his ministry now. He has not, that we are told, performed any miracles yet or even angered any Pharisees. At this point his words sound like most of the other prophets that the Israelites had heard over the centuries. Even rather like his cousin John the Baptist. Unlike John though, Jesus isn’t telling the people about their awful sins and the need for confession and forgiveness. “Repent,” though it has some of those connotations, is a pretty interesting word. When most modern Christians hear it, they do think of asking for forgiveness for their sins. Repent, say you’re sorry. But that’s not really what it means, at least not entirely. The Hebrew root of the word means to turn round, to go a different way. It’s not just a change of heart, it’s a change of life. “Repentance here means more of a change of direction, the gaining of a new set of values, the readiness for life under the reign of God.”[i] Jesus’ isn’t issuing just a blanket call for repentance. It’s a call to repent because the kingdom of God has come near. “It is so radical and powerful, its presence calls men and women from their safety and routine to a life of unheard-of newness.”[ii]

Jesus is really telling these fishermen, “Recalculate, figure out a new way to go. And the way to go is to follow me.” It entails a good deal of trust and allegiance to just drop everything and take a new direction. We have to be willing to let Jesus take the lead, and to follow him, trusting that he knows the way to the kingdom.

It’s difficult for some of us to take directions from others. We like to strike out on our own. It’s often easy to recognize those people. They’re the ones who drive around in circles, or have pieces left over from an IKEA project. They’re people who have a difficult time trusting in someone other than themselves, I think. Not that they can’t, just that it’s hard for them. We might call them self-reliant or independent. And those aren’t bad traits, but they do get a bit in the way when Jesus is asking us to drop our nets and follow him. We want to ask “But why, Jesus, why should I follow you?” But Matthew tells us that the disciples did it “immediately,” with no hesitation, with no backwards glance. And we might ask why, why did they drop everything to follow?

Our family used to go on “get lost rides” when I was a kid. It was our way of adding some adventure, a get away, on an otherwise ordinary day. We’d all pile into the car and head out into the country, sometimes wooded, sometimes fields, depending on where we were living at the time. My sister and I would get to pick the direction we took when we came to an intersection. We’d go places I’d never seen before, my sister and I (and probably Mom, too) thoroughly lost, but always trusting that Dad knew the way home no matter where we were. And you know, he always did.

The disciples remind me of that. They themselves not really knowing where they would be going with Jesus, but somehow trusting that he knew the way to go, so they just left everything and followed. All Jesus says is “Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” And like that, (snap), they dropped the nets they were casting and followed him. We aren’t told anything beyond that. Matthew doesn’t elaborate. The difficult thing about this story for me is the fishermen's unflinching, immediate decision to follow this man. Where’s the rational "let’s think this over," or "I’ll get back to you?" We have no indication that they had counted the cost. We’re not even sure that they stopped long enough to say goodbye to family and friends. They just up and leave everything connected to their life. Immediately and with no looking back. To get back to the question of why they did it, the answer is simple. Almost too simple. Because it was Jesus. It was Jesus who told them to follow.

Yesterday at the presbytery meeting, we heard a woman preach on this same Scripture passage. While her sermon went a different direction than mine, I did come away with this thought. When the disciples put down their nets to follow Jesus, the nets they put down, cast aside, were not just fishing nets. They were also safety nets. They represented what was safe and familiar to these men. They were a source of income and stability, a link to their family and their homes. No, they were not just nets to catch fish. But once they were put down the disciples had empty hands. Now they could use those hands to catch people, to heal them, to feed them, to hold them. We have to come with our safety nets put down, cast aside, so that we have empty hands to offer to Christ so he can fill them again with the tools we need to help others.

“Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” Notice though that he doesn’t tell these fishermen, “Follow me and you can be shepherds for my sheep,” or “Follow me and you can be a soldier in God’s army.” No, he meets them where they are, who they are. These fishermen will now fish-for-men. It is right here that we get a glimpse of the way Jesus works in the world. He doesn’t start a conversation with them about farming or shepherding, even though those will be metaphors he later uses. No, because he is speaking with fishermen, he speaks to them in their own terms, not what he knows best, but what they know best.

A professor of mine at Columbia Seminary played around with some of the other calls Jesus might have extended. She offers these.

Follow me, you miners, and I will make you mine for people!

Follow me, you bankers and tellers, and I will make you bank human life!

Follow me, you builders, and I will make you builders of God’s house!

Follow me, you shopkeepers, and I will make you keepers of God’s shop!

Follow me, you clowns and fools, and I will make you fools for God!

Follow me, you landscape workers, and I will make you landscapers of life!

Follow me, you cooks and chefs and butchers and bakers, and I will make you season and leaven and serve and preserve more than food!

Follow me, you instrumentalists, and I will make you instrumental to others!

Follow me, you friends, you parents, you children, you siblings, you neighbors, you strangers, you hosts and guests, and I will make you all these things—to every other human being!

It’s not as hard as you might think. Christ always starts where we already are.

Take a deep breath, put down your nets…and follow, simply because it is Christ who is asking us to do so.

[i] Brueggemann, Cousar, Gaventa, Newsome. Texts for Preaching: A Lectionary Commentary Based on the NRSV-Year A. Westminster John Knox Press, Louisville, 1995.

[ii] ibid.

Sermon: "Eye Witnesses"

2008-01-20T00:05:00.000-04:00

“Eye Witnesses”

We get another servant text this week. This is one of the primary texts that led me to believe last week that the Servant was meant to be the nation of Israel, for in this text it is explicitly said “Israel, you are my servant.” The rest of the language is also similar to the passage from Isaiah that we read last week.

This week we are hearing God tell the servant Israel that it is not enough that she is free from captivity and restored to her rightful land. No, God wants all the people, even their captors and the infidels to know God’s saving love. “I shall make you a light to the nations,” says God, “so that my salvation may reach the remotest parts of the earth.” God’s salvation is not just for Israel, but for the whole world, and it is for Israel, the chosen people, to spread the word of their God to all the nations. It is their job as servants of God, as witnesses of God’s power and glory, to tell others what they have seen and heard; to tell the world of the faithfulness of Yahweh. It is their birthright, what they were chosen as the descendant of Abraham to do, says Isaiah. “Yahweh has spoken, who formed me in the womb to be his servant…”

We are all formed in the womb as God’s servants, made to proclaim the glory of God to the nations. From the moment of our birth, we are called to be witnesses to God’s power at work in our world. As we discovered last week, we are also God’s chosen people. God gives us the power of the Holy Spirit to guide us and give us the strength and courage we need to undertake such a daunting endeavor.

Being a witness isn’t always easy. Often doubters scorn and scoff. How many of you heard on NPR the story of the supposed UFO sighting in Stephenville, TX this past week? I have to admit, I’m a bit of a skeptic about UFO’s, though I try to remind myself that UFO just mean “unidentified flying object,” and not ‘alien spaceship.’ Some folks seem to confuse the terms. I certainly believe that people saw something unidentified, just perhaps not alien. Apparently dozens of people saw the same thing in Stephenville though, which, at least to my mind, makes it somewhat more credible. But what I want to point out to you is the fact that none of them tried to keep quiet about what they saw. In all of the interviews, every person said that after their initial shock, they immediately called someone else, anyone else, to come and see what they were seeing. It was too incredible not to share, not to have someone else to talk with about this amazing event they were witnessing.

Even after the experts at the Smithsonian Institute’s astrophysics lab said it was most likely explained by a fairly common atmospheric mirage, some, or even most, people were still convinced of what they saw. Not all were jumping on the alien bandwagon, many just believed it was a secret military aircraft. But no matter what they were convinced it was, they all had to tell somebody. The little local paper was inundated with calls and emails about the event. Everybody had an opinion or a question. The paper contacted several of the eye-witnesses to get their side of the story, just an the interviewer from NPR did. These eye-witnesses were eager to share their story, to tell what they saw and to convince others of its truth.

John the Baptist was an eye-witness of another sort. John saw the Spirit descend upon Jesus, something of his own UFO, you might say. And he could not sit idly by and not tell anyone what he has seen and heard. He had to tell others what he saw and convince them of its truth. He was given this revelation as a gift from God, a gift that he was to share with others. “The revelation does not remain the private possession of John only to nurture his own faith and experience, but becomes the opportunity to address others. Furthermore, John’s witness echoes beyond his own control. Andrew, one of the disciples who abandons John, becomes yet another voice to speak to his brother, Simon.”[i]

And so it goes, he tells another, who tells another, who tells another, and so on. John’s witness cannot keep to itself and be a quiet faith. Ours is a telling faith. We have not been given this revelation to keep it quiet, hidden like a treasured secret. What good does that do us or the world? No, like Isaiah’s servant, we are to be a light to all the nations. As Jesus will later explain in a parable, what good is a light if we hide it under a basket? We ourselves will not be able to see, nor will those who enter our home.

When the disciples, first of John, soon to be of Jesus, ask him a question to get to know a little more about him, his answer is, “Come and see.” In other words, don’t take my word for it, come see for yourselves. Witness with your own eyes. And they do. They see, they really see. Andrew sees. He tells his brother Simon, “We have found the Messiah.” Simon sees, he really sees. He becomes Peter, the rock of the church. They become followers of Jesus, witnessing to all who will hear, sharing what they have seen and heard.

How can we sit idly by and not tell what we have seen and heard in Jesus Christ? Just as was John’ revelation, our own revelation is a gift, a gift that is to be passed on to others so that all may share in the delight. I found myself thinking that this gift of faith that we share is rather like sharing a wonderful book. In my family, when one of us picks up a good book, it is not long before it has been passed around, even mailed half-way across the country to be shared. We’ll email the recommendation to friends we know with similar tastes to pick it up in their library or local bookstore. We want to share our own enjoyment with them and later be able to talk about it, sharing the pleasure of a discussion, discovering new insights and points of view as we talk.

That is why we share the gospel too. So we can discuss it, enjoy it with others, find out their points of view, know the myriad of ways that Jesus shows his love to us and to others. It is a way to let others know that we have found something too good to keep to ourselves. Though it seems that is often what Christians do these days. Now we are often ashamed of our Christian identity and won’t tell others what we know to be true in God’s story. We keep Jesus safely inside our sanctuary doors. Some might say that is where he belongs, inside the church. But Jesus’ was a ministry that wandered about, place to place. Come and see! he says. Everywhere he went, people came to see and went away telling of the amazing things they’d witnessed.

If John hadn’t witnessed and then testified to what he saw, Andrew would not have had anything to tell his brother Simon Peter. If Peter had not heard Andrew’s words and wanted to see for himself, he would not have witnessed the miracles that he saw as a disciple of which he told stories to others. That is how we have the Gospels and the Letters that make up our Bible. They are the written witnesses of those who wanted to share what they had heard and seen of the love of God in Christ Jesus.

It takes a willingness to muster our courage and be willing to take the risk to tell others what we have seen in Jesus Christ. It feels safe to talk about it here, inside these walls, but it is a harsh world beyond them that often does not welcome talk of religion, at least not beyond the status quo. That is why Christians often talk of ministering by example. It somehow seems easier for most of us to demonstrate rather than to speak of Christ’s love. In many cases it can even be more effective to ‘practice what you preach’ as the saying goes.

John was quite bold in his witnessing. He’d shout out, “Look! There goes the Son of God!” Even if we cannot bring ourselves to be quite so bold as individuals, we can be so bold as a community of faith. We can shout, with community services we can shout, with our mission work we can shout, with our facility we can shout, with whatever means we have, we can shout, “Look! Here is the Son of God. Come and see!” And some will come and see, and they will go out and tell others what they have seen. And they will tell others, who will tell others…. to the glory of God. Amen.

[i] Texts for Preaching, Year A. Brueggemann, Couser, Gaventa.

Friday Five: Read Any Good Books Lately?

2008-01-18T09:54:00.000-04:00

The website promoting this piece of art says, "For the first time, the worlds most influential religious texts are brought together and presented on the same level, their coexistence acknowledged and celebrated”. The shelf is made of reclaimed wood that contains seven religious books. The designers have put them – literally – on the same level.

Well, pish posh! I think that some books ARE better than others! How about you?

What book have you read in the last six months that has really stayed with you? Why? Like Cathy, I was also struck by Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Sure, some parts were better than others, but it made me aware that I could easily make better food choices for myself and my family that could affect the whole earth in a positive way.

What is one of your favorite childhood books? I loved the Little Miss and Mister books by Roger Hargreaves. They were so funny and delightful. Now I love sharing them with my little one.

Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Do tell! I love Jonah. It's such a great story. It's got action, adventure, drama, and a happy ending. What more could you want!

What is one book you could read again and again? Ok, ok, I'm picking two. I can't decide. I love both Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird, and Daphne DuMaurier's Frenchman's Creek. (Really about anything by DuMaurier is good. Rebecca, Jamaica Inn, My Cousin Rachel...)

Is there a book you would suggest for Lenten reading? What is it and why? I enjoy Ann Weems poetry and every Lent I pick up Kneeling in Jerusalem again. It puts me in the contemplative and repentant spirit that I hope to maintain for the season, yet brings a bright spot to it as well.

And because we all love bonus questions, if you were going to publish a book what would it be? Who would you want to write the jacket cover blurb expounding on your talent? I honestly have no idea. A book of sermons, a book on parenting, oh, I know! A book of knitting patterns I've created. Except that I haven't created any yet... maybe someday. And I'd have P help me design them... he wants to have knitting patterns for outdoorsmen like hiking socks and extra warm gloves. I'd want knitting goddesses to extol my knitting genius, like Amy Singer and Stephanie Pearl McPhee.

Sermon: "By Water and the Spirit"

2008-01-12T23:50:00.000-04:00

''By Water and the Spirit"

All baptisms have at least one thing in common. The water. Some churches have immersion tanks, some use natural rivers or springs. Some have big, elaborate, flowing fountains, some have lovely carved pedestal fonts, and some use a beautiful bowl. It doesn’t really matter where the water comes from, or how much of it there is, and, though some would argue, I don’t think it matters how much of the person gets wet. It is, after all, a symbol. The water is not doing the actual baptizing. Neither, for that matter, is the preacher, really. It’s about the God and the Holy Spirit. The water itself has no power to save, that power belongs to God alone.

The first year I arrived at seminary, the theme for the opening colloquium was “Remember Your Baptism.” I have to admit that about the only thing I remember about the colloquium was getting water flung at us from palm branches and thinking, “Glad I didn’t wear my glasses today,” after watching several annoyed folks wipe the water spots off of their eyewear. But the heart of the matter was to remind us that we had been washed clean of our sins and God’s Holy Spirit had been poured out upon us. It’s a good thing to remember as often as possible. That is one reason why we keep the font up front in a place of prominence in the sanctuary, so that it can be seen and serve as a visible reminder of the sacrament that sets us apart as beloved and chosen by God.

As Reformed Protestants, we have only two sacraments, communion and baptism. That ought to clue you in to how important the church views these acts. Both involve a union with Christ through the Holy Spirit—One through sharing his body and blood, and one through sharing the waters of renewal. At a baptism, God’s Holy Spirit comes to be with the person who promises to live a life according to the will of God by following the example of Christ Jesus. And the first example we follow is that of his baptism itself.

When John the Baptist sees Jesus coming to him for baptism, John is rather shocked. “What are you doing here? I can’t baptize you! You’re the one who should be baptizing me!” But Jesus calms him, saying, “Let it be so now.” In other words, don’t make a fuss. This is what needs to be done to fulfill all righteousness. 'Fulfilling righteousness' in this context means doing the work that God has given one to do. John's work is to announce the presence of the Messiah and the coming reign of God. By baptizing Jesus, John's mission is fulfilled. And it was at this point that the Spirit of God descends in the form of a dove and the voice of God is heard proclaiming, "This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased."

We hear very similar words spoken about the one known only as ‘the Servant’ in the Isaiah text. “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations.” God sends the Spirit to empower the Servant to be able to do God’s work in the world. Once the Servant has received the Spirit, he is able to go about bringing justice to the nations, says Isaiah. And he will not grow faint or be crushed until this goal is brought about, says the Lord. Through the Holy Spirit, the Servant has the strength and power to serve God’s purpose, which, in this case, is justice.

Of course, we Christians can easily place Jesus in the role of this Servant. Especially when we hear Matthew’s words right next to Isaiah’s. I imagine it is to no one’s surprise to find Matthew drawing on words from Isaiah again here. But another parallel we certainly can draw is the initiation of the Servant, whoever it might be, into the work of God upon receiving the power of the Spirit. And since I am sure you are expecting me to say it, and since I wouldn’t dare disappoint you, I will tell you that we, too, can find ourselves in the role of servant, receiving the Spirit to initiate us into the ministry God has planned for us. We can always be sure that God has a purpose, a holy purpose, for us to fulfill. We, too, can bring about justice in the world. It is what the servant has been set aside to do. My own research leads me to believe that in Isaiah’s words, the Servant is a metaphor for the whole nation of Israel, God’s chosen people. Hey, wait! That’s us too! We’re God’s chosen people. We’re the Servant. We’re given the Spirit so we can have the power to bring about change for God’s creation, to bring about justice to the peoples of the earth.

God wants to work with his chosen people to bring about change in our broken world. But rather than leave us to it on our own, God equips us with the Holy Spirit, in order to do what the world regards as impossible. God brings about change through his chosen Servant who is empowered by the Spirit to work for God’s change. The impossible things suddenly become within reach and the order God intends for the world is attainable. God sends the Spirit as a gift, as an intimate connection with God, that we might better know and fulfill God’s will.

In the gospels, Jesus’ baptism marks the beginning of his ministry. He receives the empowering Holy Spirit, that intimate connection, and we hear God proclaim Jesus as his beloved Son. Jesus receives the Spirit to be able to do the impossible, to thwart the powers of death and destruction by rising from the grave and taking upon himself the sins of the world. The Servant, in any guise, by any name, is the instrument for God’s Spirit to work in the world to bring about newness. It is change that can only be wrought with the power of God’s Spirit behind it.

Just as Jesus’ baptism was his inauguration into ministry, so it is ours. That is why the questions asked at baptism are similar to the ones asked at ordinations. They are both commissions into a life of service with and for Christ. When we are baptized, it is into the body of Christ, and as such we are commissioned to be obedient, faithful servants and to follow the path blazed by the unique Son of God. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that baptism is simply for your personal salvation! Oh no! It is also an initiation into the church of Christ, an ordination into the priesthood of all believers-and one of the biggest reasons why we never do private baptisms in the Presbyterian Church. We are all members of the one Body of Christ and we make our promises in full view of the community and the community makes promises to us in return.

At Jesus’ own baptism, God is publically claiming Jesus as his beloved. It is exactly the same at our own baptisms. God is publicly claiming us as God’s own beloved children. We use water to symbolize not only the washing away of sins, but the pouring out of God’s love and Holy Spirit upon us. God sends the Spirit down upon Jesus, showing the world that God is promising to be with him throughout his life and ministry, just as God promises us at our baptisms to be with us throughout our own lives and ministries, no matter what form they may take. God, in full view of the world, shows his favor and shows Jesus’ chosen and holy status as Son of God. We are chosen by God to join the faithful followers of Christ. Baptism is God’s love and promise in full view of the world. The water is a visible reminder of the invisible Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives. Augustine called the sacraments, including baptism, “an outward sign of an inward and spiritual grace.”

Let us not forget, the water also reminds us of our cleansing from sin. As we are washed clean by the water, all our sins are forgiven and we become free from the power and corruption of sin by the baptism of the Holy Spirit into our lives. Jesus did not need to be cleansed of sin, but he washed in the water that would cleanse the same sinners he came to save, to be in solidarity with the very people he loved enough to give his life for. He did it “to fulfill all righteousness” says Matthew. In his full divinity, he did not need baptism; in his full humanity, he became one with those he came to save. It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we are united with Christ, united with each other in him, and to his life, his death, his resurrection, and yes, his baptism. And that is power, power greater than all the mighty waters of this earth, power enough to bring about justice and change to God’s creation. And we have this power, given to us at our baptism. Given to us in the intimate gift of God’s Holy Spirit so that we might be instruments of God’s love in the world and bring about God’s kingdom on earth. In the words of St. Francis, “Lord, make me an instrument…” And so we pray, Come, Spirit, Come! Amen.

Incomplete

2008-01-06T19:24:00.000-04:00

You know how things are when your life is just out of balance? That's how it's been around here. See, if you're keeping up with things, you know that P is down in Huge Southern City and we're up here in a whole other state. And it's not that things are going bad per se, but they're just a little out of whack.
My theory is that it's because 1) our family is not all together, 2) we're not surrounded by our familiar things (they're all in storage until we find a house), 3) we are in limbo with P's finding a job, causing at least some anxiety, 4) our routines are completely, entirely new and still a little unfamiliar to our bodies, 5) we are with unfamiliar people in unfamiliar places doing unfamiliar things.
All of these things and more sort of tie together, causing a circular pattern of distress to our minds and bodies. I can't speak to the mind of L, but she's more clingy, she's wanting me to do simple things for her that she's done on her own plenty of times before, and there are other signs that only a mom would notice.
Of course, there are the physical illnesses we've contended with. With her first foray into preschool, she came home with a terrible cold, double conjunctivitis and a double ear infection-taking not less than 2 antibiotic shots and an oral medication to clear up-after the doctor assures me that she doesn't give antibiotics unless it's seriously needed. I guess it was pretty serious.
Me, well, other than sharing the horrendous cold and then catching the pink eye, well, I just seem sluggish. I feel in a perpetual fog. Lack of sleep is part of it, a big part. Some of it is getting used to a new job and a new schedule. I'm sure there are other factors that, being somewhat foggy, I'm not thinking of at the moment.
Our bodies are just out of whack. Tummies seems to be cranky a little more I've noticed, for us both. I'm perpetually stuffy and headache-y and will probably have to suck it up and go find an allergist soon.
Even the animals seem off. I know they don't like P being gone. The dog especially. She does naughty things on the carpet that let me know this. Not in the last couple of days though, knock on wood. The cats well, they are just a little more needy, if that's possible.
Now you may be saying, but R, you said things weren't so bad, and that sounds bad indeed! It's not really, it's tough, especially without P to take some of the slack with L, but I love the church people I'm working with, and they've been wonderful to us both. I like the area we're in; I like the preschool L is in; I even like both the pediatrician and family doctor I had to find on short notice. I just can't wait for things to come back into alignment. P here, job secured, home moved into, stuff unpacked, child well, sleep adjusted. I'm just sure that things will be better when things are the way they should be as far as us being together as a family and being surrounded by our familiar and beloved belongings in a place that is our own.

Sermon: "Home By Another Way"

2008-01-05T16:05:00.000-04:00

“Home by Another Way”

We go a little backwards in our gospel readings today. Last week we heard the story of Herod and his fear of this new king born in his territory and his subsequent killing of all the young male children in his kingdom to try to prevent said new king from growing up and taking over the throne that Herod wanted for his own children. We usually hear it referred to as “The Slaughtering of the Innocents.” But this week we go backwards to the story of the wise men arriving to worship that child-king at his home in Bethlehem. This was when Herod first heard of this threat to his royal lineage; it all started with those wise men.

Those wise men, who were most likely scholars of magic or some sort of astrologers, those wise men show up in Judea, asking about a child born there who was to grow up and be a king. They were really just looking for more specific directions; stars can be kind of vague, I suppose. They may have assumed that everyone had heard of his birth, that the star was just as obvious to everyone else as it was to them. So where is this kid? We know he’s here in Judea somewhere. They seemed to know they were looking for a child, so they didn’t waste much time with Herod, since he obviously wasn’t the king they were after. They’d just stopped in as a courtesy.

Herod is thrown for a loop when these magi show up. What are they talking about? A new king? This is the first he’d heard about it and he wants to know what’s up. After checking with his own court wise men as well as the Jewish scribes and Pharisees, Herod finds that there is indeed some minor reference to a new ruler for Israel coming out of Bethlehem, but it’s from a pretty old bit of prophecy in Micah that no one had really thought would ever come to pass, nothing to get really excited about. Herod figured on saving his own servants (and the royal coffers) a reconnaissance mission by having these foreigners go up to Bethlehem and scope things out for him, just in case. He pretends that he’s interested in wishing this new king well and asks the magi to go with his blessing. Just like welcoming a new neighbor, he insists. He wants to give a tribute to the new guy and wish him a long and prosperous reign. Yeah, right.

But since there was probably something of a language barrier between the magi and Herod, they don’t seem to suspect right away that he’s a phony. So, they get on their way. They have brought their own gifts for this king. They don’t really know much about him, except that their astrological calculations show that he’s somebody pretty important. As I mentioned before, they do seem to know they are looking for a child, at least according to Matthew. He also tells us they were pretty excited when they found him, “overwhelmed with joy,” to quote the Gospel. They had been traveling for a long time. Matthew doesn’t say exactly how far they have come, but it took a long time to get anywhere in those days, so we have to assume that it was quite a journey. Most scholars assume that “the East” Matthew refers to was the kingdom of Persia, which is now Iran and the surrounding area, a pretty good trek in those days.

I suspect their arrival caused quite a stir. Even Mary who knew the divine status of her son, probably hadn’t been a hostess to foreign dignitaries before. She probably had to rush around to find enough chairs, and call on neighbors and family to borrow enough food and drink to offer them hospitality. I can only imagine the people peering in the windows, trying to catch a glimpse of these visitors and wondering why in the world they were visiting at the carpenter’s home. There would definitely have been a stir if anyone had caught sight of the gifts they offered to the child.

As is so much of Matthew’s writing, the arrival of the magi is shown to be a fulfillment of Scripture. That was one of Matthew’s main agendas, making sure to point out that the happenings surrounding Jesus were fulfillments of the earlier Jewish prophecies. I spoke about it a few weeks ago, noting that this is Matthew’s way of giving legitimacy to his own writings as well as to the legacy of Jesus himself.

These magi, at least according to Matthew, are aware that this child is hailed as king of the Jews, and they have come to worship him, though they themselves are not Jews. They have followed a star; no map, no compass, no GPS. And since they weren’t Jewish, they didn’t have the prophetic scriptures to look at either. But they still know that this kid is important enough that they travel a long distance in order to find him and offer up gold and expensive resins in his honor. So they must have divined that he was pretty important. Enough that they came with their treasures themselves and did not just send the gifts by Fed-Ex camel. Maybe they were just too curious about that star to not follow it themselves. Either way, they could tell it was leading them to something, or someone, really important.

But I’ll tell you what, it’s not the following of the star, it’s not the meeting with Herod, and it’s not even so much the worshipping of the Christ Child that got me really pondering this text. I have been haunted by the fact that they went home by another way.

Those wise men started out as agents of Herod's destructive agenda, though most likely unwittingly, by seeking out the child to report back to Herod where he was and who he was. Up until the last moment, it was their intent to retrace their steps and return to Herod’s palace and make a full report, just as he had asked, supposing that he wanted to honor the new king, just as they did.

But the night before they are to leave, they get a warning. Not another star or a prophecy, but a dream. A dream that warned them that Herod was up to no good. So all at once they are turned around by this dream, not on the path back to Herod with the information, but a path that protects this child. It was as though once they had offered their gifts and worshipped this new king, once they had come face to face with what was Right and True, they could no longer continue along the old route.

They found that the star had led them to more than just a king, but a Messiah. And not just a Messiah for the Jews, but for all people. I find in interesting that the first people who come to worship the Christ child are foreigners (remember, there are no shepherds in Matthew’s telling), so these magi are the first in this account, not Jews who have been looking for the fulfillment of these prophecies for generations, not even a next door neighbor or someone from the same city. Didn’t they notice the star? Weren’t they curious about it? No, it was these wise men, who’d traveled quite some distance to find him, who were the first. And they worshipped him as a king, not as a prophet, not as a nice guy, but a king, a ruler, a leader of people with divine right, though they may not have realized just quite how divine. Jesus was as much their Messiah as he was the Jews.

When the wise men were warned by a dream not to report back to Herod, they knew why they had to sneak out of the country on a different road than the one they came in on. There was something so obviously special about this child, that they knew they must protect him from discovery and harm. So they went home by another way. They deviated from their planned route, maybe even taking a longer and harder road, just to keep Herod away from this little boy who would become the Savior of his people.

Isn't that what our own encounter with Christ does for us? He guides us off our familiar, planned paths. We can no longer follow on the way we intended. Our trajectory is forever changed.

Epiphany, indeed.

The definition that Merriam-Webster’s offers up for epiphany is “an illuminating discovery or a revealing moment.” That’s the one we usually think of for epiphany, an “ah-ha moment” if you will. But they also post this definition: “an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking.”

And how true for those magi. They come face to face with a tiny baby, something so simple and striking, and the path they are on changes dramatically. The way they looked at their mission became radically different when they met the Christ child. They were no longer to report his location, they must now protect it. They became not just travelers, not just worshippers, but guardians. An intuitive grasp of reality as seen in the eyes of a child, stark and simple.

Listening to God, whether in a dream or in our prayers, or however it is that God comes to us, well, that can always shift our trajectory and cause us the need to consider a new route. It happened to the wise men, it happened to the disciples, it happens to us.

When we come face to face with Jesus, our paths will be changed. We cannot continue the way we were going. Once we have committed to worshipping the Christ, we will have to go home by another way. It is an intuitive grasp of reality. The reality of love incarnate, the reality of death on a cross, and the reality of a resurrection that says that death is not the final word. That is what we intuitively grasp when we follow the new path laid out for us by Christ. A path that makes straight the desert highway, where every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill made low and the uneven ground shall become level and the rough places a plain. Then, says Isaiah, then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed.

Epiphany, indeed. Amen.

Thanks to Cheesehead whose words from the lectionary discussion board appear in a couple of place here. They are really what this sermon was build around. Inspiration, indeed.

Communications

2008-01-04T13:38:00.000-04:00

In an institution known for its gossip mongering, you'd think that communications wouldn't be much of an issue. But for some reason, small churches just can't seem to agree on the best way to distribute information to its members. I have found this to be true of most of the small churches I've been a part of, so it's not just an instance of one.
Even though everyone had heard that my husband surprised me by showing up on Christmas Eve unexpectedly within 24 hours of it happening, for some reason it is vitally important that the unchanging date and time of weekly choir practice be printed in the bulletin every week.
Which publication does this or that information belong in? The weekly bulletin, the monthly newsletter, the hallway bulletin board, the website, all of the above? How long does it stay there? And probably worst of all, who gets to decide (meaning, who gets the fallout when someone doesn't like the decision)?
We're working it out here at Church of the Status Quo. Since I hold the titles of both pastor and secretary, there is no doubt who gets the fallout around here. 'Course it's one of those things where ain't no way everybody's gonna be happy all the time. So who do I try to make happy in the end? Why, ME, of course! I do, in fact, know what I'm talking about when it comes to dissemination of information. It's just a matter of bringing them around and having some folks realize that if they're constantly out of town or can't be bothered to pick up a newsletter, they are going to have to find things out on their own since we can't be sending personal reminders to every member of CSQ for every event.
Then there's email. I have an oddly large number of people without it. I cannot figure how anyone today can get by without it. Even my 86 year old grandmother can figure out how to get email. Even if she can't send it, I know she can at least read it. I actually even have one or two people on my session without email. Did I mention that I honestly cannot fathom how people function without at least an email account today? No, you don't have to surf the 'net, or even (gasp!) blog, but how do you not have email?!
Next post: "You don't like the hymns I picked?! Then you go find me some words to tunes that don't stink and are theologically appropriate and go with today's lection!"

You can call me Reverend

2007-12-30T22:10:00.000-04:00

Well, it's official as of today. I am finally ordained. It was a wonderful service. I couldn't have had better folks on the commission. My father was here to give the sermon. My mom and sister are here as well and they are all staying for a few days to visit. My in-laws were able to drive down and stay for the service and then went home again. I'm in one of those small churches where about 75% of the people can come down for the laying on of hands, including my mom and P. It was really amazing. My dad presented me with the cross that he'd worn for the entire time he was in ministry and made pretty much the whole congregation tear up. It couldn't have been better. As if I didn't have enough surprises, a couple from the church that sponsored me when I first became an inquirer back in IN was in town and came to present our church with a peace candle that has been passed from church to church, beginning in Russia many years ago. They were able to take pictures and well-wishes back with them, and for that I am very grateful.
In other news, P had to leave today, but had a good interview for a job while he was here. We're hoping to hear from the place this week to know if he gets an offer or not. So, pins and needles around here, waiting to hear if P will be able to come up here sooner rather than later. We all miss him lots. Send your prayers for positive news on the job front.
L is wired from getting to see both families of grandparents and her aunt and uncle and Daddy all in one week. Not to mention all the presents and new things to read and play with. So much excitement!
Lots going on. I'm looking forward to a few days off to spend some time with my family of origin and maybe do some retail therapy. Hope everyone has a wonderful new year!

Best. Christmas present. EVER.

2007-12-25T20:23:00.000-04:00

With Christmas and my ordination so close together, P didn't have the time off to come for both. For those of you who don't know, I've been living about 9 hours away in a different state since taking my first call. P wasn't able to find work up here that quickly and is still living in Huge Southern City until a job can be obtained in my neck of the woods. Anyway, last night during our Christmas Eve service, right at the very end, just as I am about to give the benediction, a young man in a rather dashing leather fedora appears at the rear doors and low and behold, when he removed the hat, it was my P! I got all teary (still am, thinking about it again) and was rather breathless during the benediction, during which I have no idea of what was said, but I got it out, and had to restrain myself from running down the aisle to the back row where he'd seated himself. I still have no idea how I held it together. Turns out, he had some extra time off accrued that he hadn't realized. I hadn't expected him til Thursday and haven't seen him since Thanksgiving. Best. present. ever!
Though it might tie with the look on L's face when she saw him there too.

What Dreams May Come

2007-12-25T19:26:00.000-04:00

In our house, we have a nativity scene that we set up each Advent. We put out the stable and in the stable goes the manger, Mary, the shepherds and their sheep, the camels, a cow or two, the donkey, the wise men and more often than not, we get everyone in place only to realize there’s an extra shepherd or wise man hanging about—Oh, that must be Joseph! And we put him in his place beside Mary. Joseph gets so often overlooked this time of year. He’s always in the background, hovering over Mary and the babe. He is the responsible family man. The one who is conscientious enough to take a woman as his wife who is having a baby that is not his own and give it a name that he did not choose.

Matthew would have us believe he doesn’t make a fuss about it. He gets up and does what was told to him in a dream. We don’t hear anything about his feelings on being the surrogate father to the Son of God. Poet J. Barrie Shepherd wrote a poem that helped me look at this passage in a new way, and I’d like to share it with you.

"The hardest task
The most difficult role of all
That of just being there
And Joseph, dearest Joseph, stands for that.
Don't you see?
It is important,
crucially important,
that he stand there by that manger,
as he does,
In all his silent misery
Of doubt concern and fear.
If Joseph were not there
There might be no place for us,
For those of us at least-
So many- who recognize and know-
That heartache, for our own,
Who share that helpless sense
Of lost-ness, of impotence
In our own lives, our families, our jobs
In our fearful threatened world this night.
Yes, in Joseph's look of anguish
We find our place;
We discover that we too
Belong beside the manger:
This manger in which are met
God's peace and all our wars and fears....
Let us be there,
Simply be there just as Joseph was,
With nothing we can do now,
Nothing we can bring-
It's far too late for that-
Nothing even to be said
Except, 'Behold- be blessed,
Be silent, be at peace.'
Joseph, son of David,
'Do not fear,' the angel said.
And Jim and Alice, Fred and Sue,
Bob and Tom and Jean and Betty too,
The word to you, to all of us
Here at the manger side,
The word is also, 'do not fear.'
Our God, the Lord and Sovereign,
Maker of heaven and earth,
Time and eternity,
Of life and death and all that is
And shall be,
Has joined us in this moment…,"[i]

What a night that must have been. Joseph has just discovered that his fiancée is pregnant. Of course, his first thought is going to be that it is by another man. How else could it be? His immediate response is that of a “just” man—he must divorce her. That is, it is not out of anger that he resolves to terminate the relationship but out of deep religious conviction. It is not his prerogative to forgive her and act out that forgiveness by consummating the marriage. In this instance however, justice is tempered by mercy; although he must divorce her in order to demonstrate that his love for God is stronger than his love for Mary, he determines to do it secretly, so as not to cause her public humiliation.[ii] He plans to let her go quietly, preserving her dignity and probably her life. And just as he’s resolved to do this, the weight off his mind, ready for a good night’s sleep, God gives him another path to take, one that’s mapped out by an angel in a dream.

Matthew doesn’t tell us a thing about Mary other than her relationship to Joseph. All we know about her comes from Luke’s gospel. We don’t get all that much information from either gospel about Joseph. Matthew is setting him up as a responsible, God-fearing man, who obeys angels that appear to him in dreams. After each occurrence of an angel dream (there are at least two more, one that sends the family to Egypt to escape Herod, and one that brings them home after his death). Matthew simply states that Joseph got up, and did what he was told. No pondering, no indecision, he just got up after he awoke, and did it. Now that’s faithfulness.

‘Course, I’m not sure that’s the whole story. I don’t doubt that Joseph was a good man, a man who loved God and followed the Torah, but really, he just got up and did whatever he was told in a dream? I’d be thinking back about what I’d had for dinner that night. “Perhaps you are an undigested bit of beef, or a blot of mustard,” as Scrooge said to the spirit of Marley.

The angel doesn’t just tell Joseph that it’s ok to wed Mary. No, the angel has a little more to say. Like the fact that the child isn’t another man’s. Now that must have been a pretty big shock. How could this child not be another man’s? It certainly wasn’t his own! No, no, says the angel, this child is of the Holy Spirit. Well, if finding out his fiancée was pregnant before the wedding wasn’t shock enough, finding out the child was from God must have been pretty surprising. Joseph probably wondered, “Why me? Why Mary?” Couldn’t God have picked another young woman? Anyone else but me?

The last thing the angel tells Joseph is the name to give the child. “Jesus,” from the Greek translation. “Yeshua,” in Hebrew. And if that wasn’t enough, the angel continues, telling Joseph that this child that he will have to raise and provide for, but who really isn’t his, will be the Savior of his people. Matthew tells us that’s what the name Jesus means, “He will save.” Isaiah uses the name Emmanuel, “God with us.” And as Joseph finds out, things can get pretty crazy when God comes to be with us.

Joseph may have wondered how this tiny little baby boy would, in fact, save people from their sins. But if he had known, would he have followed the angel’s instructions? Would he have given that baby the name that held such big expectations for such a small child? I don’t know if I could have. Even though Matthew tells us that Joseph just got up and did what God’s angel instructed, I think it must have been a pretty tough bite to swallow. All this goes to show just how dangerous (and amazing) dreams can be! God’s dream for salvation came about in a baby and a cross. Joseph’s dreams have him take a woman already pregnant to be his wife and then travel to a foreign land to keep the child safe from a jealous king, only to come back when the king was dead. I imagine that after that first dream Joseph was a little wary of going to sleep, and especially after a second and so on.

But, Joseph wakes up to a new reality. God’s reality. One where a baby saves the world. He’s there, standing by the manger, a comfort to Mary, in awe of the child in his care, the child that belongs to God, who belongs to us all. Amen.

[i] Shepherd, J. Barrie. Faces at the Manger. Nashville: Upper Room Books, 1992.

[ii] Hare, Douglas R. A. Interpretation:Matthew. Louisville, KY: John Knox Press, 1993.

"Are you the One?"

2007-12-11T10:33:00.000-04:00

Scriptures: Isaiah 35:1-10; Matt. 11:2-11
by Rivkah

Poor John the Baptist has landed himself in prison. No more desert wandering for a while for him. Of course, that’s what he gets for pointing out Herod’s indiscretions with his sister-in-law. Yet, locked away as he is, he is still able to prepare the people for Jesus’ ministry. He, like Jesus, has disciples to go out for him. So, while he is cooped up in prison, they go on an errand to find out a little bit more about Jesus and what he is doing.

"Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for someone else?” It seems like John more than anyone else, ought to already know the answer to that question. It reminds me of the words of Ebenezer Scrooge from Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” “Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me?” Even though he can see quite clearly that it is a spirit and he knew to expect it, he still has to ask. I almost expect to hear the spirit spit back, "Well, yeah, who else would I be?”But Scrooge, even knowing the spirit would be there, asks because it is always hard to believe when a spirit shows up.

The same is true for John. He knows that the Messiah will show up. He even knows who it is. After all, he baptized Jesus only recently. But it is a little hard to grasp when he finally shows up. “Are you the one who is to come?” The question is more along the lines of: “Is it really you? I see you, but I hardly believe my own eyes!” What John sees is Jesus performing miracles and teaching in the temple. Perhaps he only asks so his disciples to go find Jesus so they can go find out what Jesus’ own answer is. Or perhaps he was getting a little antsy that Jesus wasn’t doing what a Messiah ought to be doing. Certainly not healing the sick, and teaching about helping the poor and oppressed.

From all indications, this is not what the first century Jews expected from their Messiah. They wanted justice and punishment for the criminals (read the Romans) and probably some theatrical raining of fire and brimstone, a burning bush or two, and maybe even a fiery sword to smite their enemies. So it’s no wonder that John is asking, "Are you the one, or are we supposed to wait for somebody else?” Maybe even somebody better, with a little more flash.

And admittedly, he was probably not surprised by Jesus’ answer, but maybe a little disappointed. In fact, most of the Jews were disappointed. Where was the mighty ruler of armies? Where was the warrior to overthrow their oppressors? From the perspective of those Jews, Jesus had more of an air of prophet than Messiah. Even Elisha had cleansed a leper and raised a boy from the dead. Of course John asks, “are you the one?” Even if he knew the answer, it never hurts to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. And of course, in typical Jesus fashion, he never just says, ”yes,” or “no.” He actually just tells John’s disciples to go and report what they have seen and heard. That makes for significant room for interpretation, especially since what they have seen and heard looked a lot like what the prophets of old were doing. But it also looked a lot like what the prophets of old said the Messiah would be doing. Isaiah says that the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the lame shall leap, and the mute will sing for joy. All of these, and more, are the signs of the Messiah. But Jesus leaves the interpretation of the signs up to John and his disciples. It makes sense that way; people will believe what they want to believe. Either way, the Messiah has come to make the final judgment. Only it isn’t the way that the Jews originally thought it would be. To John, a fierce denouncer of the sins of the people, a Messiah would be the type to lay waste to those who commit wrong, especially those who commit wrong against Israel. John was a fiery sword, “woe to you,” kind of guy.

I have to admit, I hope that’s not what we get for Jesus’ return. Flaming chariots and raining brimstone aren’t my thing. Maybe it’s the fire hazard, but I’d rather we see the healing and teaching, personally. Though probably not if my people had spent hundreds of years under oppressive rule and were waiting for a liberator. Not if my city were under a corrupt authority, cheating me and my friends out of a hard earned wage that was way below what was paid to the Roman citizens. No, if that were the case, I’d feel just like John and the rest. I’d want someone to come and sweep it all clean.

“Are you the one?” It’s a very legitimate question when what you are expecting gets turned on its head. I don’t know what to expect anymore. What will we get when Jesus returns? Will we get the Gospel Jesus, healing and teaching peace? Will we get the Messiah that the Jews expected the first time around, brandishing a flaming sword and stamping out corruption and oppression with death and destruction? There are a plethora of theories out there about Jesus' return. Some think he has already returned and spoken to their leaders. I, personally, have stopped trying to imagine what it will be like. Once I conceded that God’s capabilities were beyond my comprehension, I decided that it was pointless to try and imagine what God could do.

I’m sure that’s how the first Christmas felt, too. A virgin having a baby, putting him in a manger, angels singing to shepherds, wise men traveling from far away with only a star to follow. It’s beyond what anyone could have imagined, especially for the coming of the Messiah. It’s no wonder John asks, “Are you the one?” And who wouldn’t be confused? Jesus doesn’t even use language that would seem appropriate to a Messiah. No warrior language, no might and power here. Just language drawn from the lives of shepherds and fishermen. It’s no wonder so many people missed it. It’s no wonder that even John is questioning him. Wouldn’t we miss it too? Or perhaps, dis-miss it, even? Often when people speak about peace and justice they are easily ignored as idealists. Do they live in the real world? Can’t they see that it will never happen? It would take the world turning upside down before we could have peace and justice as the rule rather than the exception.

But that is what our job as Christians would have us do. We are to work to turn the world upside down until Christ can come again and finish the job he started. Jesus began the work of turning things on their heads. Of course it is upside down to hear the muted tongue speak or see the lame leap like deer. Of all the things we don't expect, we can expect the Messiah to turn things on their heads. And Jesus is so good at that. Even from the start, from being born of a virgin and laid in a manger with shepherds to welcome him into the world to speaking in parables that upset much of the Jewish Scripture and preaching to crowds of thousands while feeding them with only a few fish and some bread.

I can only imagine the number of people who asked Jesus, “Who are you?” even after seeing the miracles he’d performed and hearing the parables he preached. And then after considering for a moment those same miracles and parables asking, “Are you the one who is to come?” John had to have had some doubts, I think to ask that question of Jesus. Even if he was sending the disciples to get an answer for their own sakes, he must have wondered on occasion if he’d gotten the right guy at the River Jordan. He could have just sent the disciples, saying, “Go and see what the Messiah is up to.” But instead he asks, “Are you the one who is to come?” He needed to make sure for himself as well as his followers. Maybe he just needed to know if he was wasting his time. “Should we wait for another?” If Jesus was the real McCoy, John needed to know. It was John’s job to know since he was supposed to be preparing the way for the Messiah. John needed to make sure he was preparing the way for the right guy, even if this guy didn’t act much like a Messiah ought to.

So if even John the Baptist, the one who was supposed to be preparing the way for the coming of the Messiah wasn’t sure who he was looking for, how are we supposed to know who to look for? Would we even listen to someone like John if he came to tell us that the Messiah was coming again? Probably not. Most likely we’d shake our heads at the poor crazy or lock him away out of sight and mind. We come with our own notions of what we think the Messiah ought to be doing to save the world. We even have our own thoughts about who should and shouldn’t be saved, as well as how and when. And it's precisely those notions that the Messiah will turn on their heads. Is it any wonder that John had to come first to get people ready for Jesus’ message?It would take anyone some time to let the idea of the Messiah sink in. Of course, we’ve had two thousand some years now to get ready for his return. Yet, I’m still not sure we’re prepared for that momentous event. We might be looking to our left and the Messiah will appear on our right. Even when they were told what to look for, the people of Israel still doubted. They had in their minds what they thought the Messiah ought to be and do. They had forgotten what the prophets had told them. They had ignored the signs that were given to fulfill the words of the prophets. Even John the Baptist was not immune to it all.

We cannot and should not be complacent thinking that we will just know the Messiah when we see him. Even the Jews who were told by Isaiah and several other prophets what to look for did not recognize him in their midst. Only when we see the world being turned upside down, can we start asking, “Are you the one?” And, like John, we will probably have to decide for ourselves if we want to believe that actions speak louder than words. Even if the Messiah returned right now, even if he fulfilled the prophecies to a T, I think we would still be justified in asking, “Are you the one who is to come?” Do my eyes deceive me, or are you really the Messiah?

John, even with his doubts, I think wanted to believe that Jesus was “the one who is to come.” Haven’t you ever asked a question that you were pretty sure you knew the answer to, just to be absolutely certain you were right? That may have been what John was doing. Just like Scrooge’s spirits, he can see that Jesus is indeed the one “whose coming was foretold,” but it is still hard to believe when the miraculous occurs. For us, it is even harder. Do we even know what signs to look for? Do we look to the same prophecies that Isaiah gives us or will they be different this time around? Do we look for another John the Baptist to herald the second coming? What are we to look for? What has been foretold to us? Well, it’s hard to say, honestly. That’s why I think it is always ok to ask, “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?” At least if we are asking, we are not forgetting that God’s promise of the return of the Messiah will, indeed, be fulfilled. At least if we are asking, we are seeking the Messiah’s return. Asking means we believe that it will happen, that God will indeed be with us again. O come, O come Emmanuel! Amen.

Day 2

2007-12-04T14:46:00.000-04:00

Got L to preschool this morning. She told me "can't want to stay" again. Started the screaming and crying and throwing of self on the floor as soon as she saw her teacher. I didn't stick around today, just hugged her and told her I would be back for her later. Didn't fall apart either. Much easier today than yesterday.
I did get a brief chance to talk with her teacher though. She said that L did pretty good yesterday after she calmed down. She said that L even took a nap-miracle!-and that she made a friend to hold hands with (a cherubic little curly blond named Megan). Teacher (Ms. J) went on to say that today would probably be pretty bad, tomorrow some better and next Monday would be bad again (after getting to be at home with mom, not wanting to go back.)
I like Ms. J; she's no-nonsense, but she obviously loves the kids. I think that's just what L needs, too. She's been queen of the castle up til now, and I think some routine and structure will help her gain a little better control of her emotions and willfulness too. (Imagine, a child of mine and P's willfull! Who'da thought?) :)

p.m. update

2007-12-03T20:02:00.000-04:00

L was very glad to see me at pick-up time. I didn't get a chance to see her teacher, but the director said she did pretty good and another teacher said she seemed fine at lunch. She was quietly watching a video when I arrived. That was a good sign.
Of course, everyone says tomorrow will be worse, now that she knows the game. We'll have to see. When I asked her if she had fun, she said, "Yes, I had lots of fun." So I hope I can get her to remember that tomorrow morning. Wish us luck!

a.m. update

2007-12-03T11:51:00.000-04:00

Dropping off L for her first day at preschool was every bit as traumatic as I'd imagined it could be. There was screaming (and I mean full out, mega decibel screaming) for mommy and tears and snot were flowing freely, temper tantrum ensued. I told her she would have fun and that she needed to stay and play with the other children. "I can't want to! I can't want to!" she cried.
I placed her in the capable hands of the teacher and kissed her, told her I'd always come back for her and left before I could change my mind. As soon as I got into my office just a couple blocks aways, I broke down in tears. It breaks a mother's heart to know her child is fearful of something unfamiliar and can't be there to ease the transition, even if it's eventually in the child's best interest. I know she's safe and will be very well cared for, and will even come to have fun there. It's just that she doesn't know that yet.
My head knows that this is the best arrangement for everyone. The preschool is excellent. I very much like the director, and I think the teacher will be good for L, though I don't know her very well yet. I know L will eventually come to enjoy the time they get to spend on the playground, doing crafts, singing, etc. I know I will get more work done and be able to go to meetings and groups that I might not ordinarily attend now that she is not in my care full time.
It's my heart that's breaking though. I won't always be the first one to see her do new things now, or hear her conversations in "L language" with her toys and picture books.

I will update in the p.m. once I've picked her up and seen how she did. Pray that tomorrow she'll remember that today was ok. I just have this feeling...

Any Day Now

2007-12-02T16:20:00.000-04:00

"Any Day Now"
Romans 13:11-14, Matthew 24:36-44

Ah, Advent… This time of year there’s a lot of preparations to be made. We prepare for Christmas in a frenzy of gift buying and wrapping, cookie baking, party hosting, tree buying, light stringing, house decorating, and the list goes on.
And you have had other preparations to make as well. You’ve been preparing for a new pastor, and preparing to welcome her and her family into your fold. Together we’ll prepare for an ordination and installation to be held here later this month. I can’t imagine anyone being asleep. There’s a lot to get done!
I imagine there was a time when you were feeling like Matthew when it came to the matter of getting a pastor. “But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” You’ve waited a long time! I also imagine it may be something of a relief to many of you, especially the PNC.

However, unlike waiting for the arrival of a new pastor we don’t get a start date or a first Sunday for Christ’s return. Both Paul and Matthew are telling us that there is no way we can know when to expect Christ to return to earth. They tell us to be ready, but not when it will happen. Both of our authors were awaiting Jesus to come back at any time. It is very likely that most of Jesus’ earliest followers expected his return very soon—certainly within their own lifetime. Paul and Matthew’s advice to their readers reflected this attitude. There is a sense of urgency to their words, expressing a need to be aware of the passing of each day until Christ’s return. Paul is letting us know that salvation is getting closer and closer, Matthew says that it will creep up on us, like a thief in the night. It’s not something we can pencil in on our day-planners. Not even the angels nor the Son of Man himself know, says Matthew.

During Advent, it’s hard to keep track of anything, much less the passing of each day. We’re so busy trying to find the right gifts, throw the right parties, and bake all those cookies that the time slips away from us and Christmas is over before we know it. We get so caught up waiting for the baby to be born, that we miss his coming again. It’s not something that we keep in the forefront of our minds this time of year. Our preoccupation with keeping the holidays “merry and bright” also keeps us from the focus of the season. Or rather, we get so caught up with the thought of Christmas itself that we forget about preparing for it. Oh, sure, we prepare everything else from our homes, inside and out, to our cars with the light up wreaths on the front grills. We even prepare our churches, changing the colors of the paraments, setting up the Advent wreath with its candles, some even devote their lawns to a living nativity, donkeys and all.
But we forget to prepare ourselves. We’re ready for the glitz and glam of the holiday parties, we easily prepare for a night out by buying new clothes, fixing hair and make-up, donning jewels and spiffy ties. It’s so much easier to get the outside ready than the inside. But what if Jesus came while we were all out at a holiday party? Or what if we were so busy shopping that we missed the heralding angels?

You’ll notice that the stole I am wearing and the vestments here in the sanctuary are purple and they will remain so throughout Advent. You might recall the other season that uses purple is Lent. Lent is a time in our church calendar that we use for repentance and reflection. We are preparing ourselves for Easter. The reason that Advent and Lent share colors, is that the church believes that Advent and Lent share that need for reflection and preparation. Some traditions have a much more solemn time during Advent, preparing for Christ’s birth much the same way we prepare for Easter. Yet it is much nicer to think about preparing for a celebration of a birth than a mourning of a death.

But there’s more to it than that, isn’t there? There is a celebration for Easter, and it’s the main event we’re preparing for anyway. We get a little caught up in the death part because we’re so stoic for 6 weeks and only celebratory on Easter day itself. That was how Advent and Christmas originally worked. Like Lent and Easter, people were meditative and repentant leading up to the holy day and then celebrated only after the dawning of that day. They would then celebrate for the twelve days following Christmas up until Epiphany. That’s how the world’s longest Christmas tune came about.
Am I saying that we need to give up the festive holiday air that surrounds Advent? No, but I am saying that it might not hurt to share a little of the contemplative and repentant spirit of Lent at this time of year. That is one way that we can take the words of our Scripture today to heart. It is just one way we can strive to be ready for that unexpected hour.
It’s easy to recognize the common thread in Paul and Matthew’s words--it’s time. We never seem to have enough of it, we keep wasting it, and it’s getting shorter and shorter, at least according to Paul. It’s Paul who is really challenging us to reflect on how we use our time. He warns us to keep an eye on the clock, wake up from our sleep. “The night is far gone,” he says, “the day is near.” And because it is near, he says, we need to get our acts together- leave off the reveling and drunkenness,and debauchery and licentiousness, and quarreling and jealousy, and… well, you get the idea.

Paul makes the analogy of living as in the day. I can see why that makes sense. Anyone who has been to a big city understands that daytime is a much safer time than the night. Honest business is conducted during the day, when the buildings are full of employees. We can see by the light of the sun, there are no scary shadows where the unknown can hide. Night is when drug dealers and prostitutes walk the streets, promoting licentiousness and debauchery. Night is when the revelers from the clubs drive home drunk. Night is when the quarreling and jealousy lead to beatings and shootings. Matthew warns against similar deeds of darkness. He references the time before Noah, when there was much eating and drinking and general merry-making. But he warns that they were so caught up in all of this that they didn’t even notice the warning signs until they were already swept away in the flood.

Matthew also uses the waking from sleep metaphor, saying, “keep awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.”And how could we, like the people of Noah’s time, notice the signs of the return of Christ, when we are so caught up in our own merry-making and revelry? Even if our deeds are not as awful as those on Paul’s list, we do know that we are not as ready as we should and could be for Christ’s return. We are drowsy even now, content to believe that he certainly won’t be back right now. There’s time to get things in order. We don’t have to worry quite yet.

These passages agree with each other that Christ’s return could be any day now. The supermarket tabloids would certainly have us believe so. But I think that Paul and Matthew might be more credible. Yet we’re still blithely going about our business of decorating, shopping, baking and more. Could we indeed miss the angels heralding? the star in the sky? Maybe if someone had warned the innkeeper in advance that the Son of God was going to need a place to sleep, he might have saved a special room for them.

That’s the problem with not knowing when we can expect Christ to return--we have to be ready all the time. And how do we ready ourselves? That is part of what makes it so hard, all of the ‘not knowing’ that comes along with trying to prepare ourselves. All we do know about Christ’s return is that it could be any day now. Any day like today, any day like tomorrow, any day like next week, next month, next millennium. The only thing for sure is that he is coming. And we know because we have been promised so. We have been given a promise and must count on the reliability of the one who makes that promise. Some people might have us believe that there is a secret code we can crack to know exactly when Christ will return. But promises are not quite so scientific, they allow for considerable latitude. Matthew assures us that it will be a surprise, not something we can calculate. We have to count on the fact that the other promises in the Bible have been fulfilled and this one will be too.If we give up on that, then we have no reason to celebrate Advent or any other church season, for that matter. We might as well just be asleep, like Paul and Matthew admonish against.

Jesus’ birth was the fulfillment of a promise, just like his coming again will fulfill another promise. Believing that God fulfills God’s promises is essential to celebrating Advent. We celebrate the fulfillment of one promise—the birth, because we know that another promise—Christ’s return, waits to be fulfilled. Advent is not just the celebration leading up to Christmas. It is the celebration of a promise fulfilled and a promise to be fulfilled. So while Christmas has a way of sneaking up on us this time of year we still have to be on the watch, we have to keep awake for the fulfillment of God’s promise of the Messiah’s return. Whether or not we know the day or hour, we can know that it will happen, that it could be any day now. Amen.

First Sunday down...

2007-12-02T15:58:00.000-04:00

Today went very well. Assuming all the compliments were genuine, everyone liked the service and the sermon. I realized about half way through it I was talking in fast forward, but since I annunciate well, I don't think anyone much noticed. The only thing anyone pointed out to me that was "wrong" was that someone had switched off the mic on the pulpit, but I also project well (four years of speech team in hs, thanks Mr. E!), so all that did was make it unable to record, but I'm not somebody who's all sentimental about recording stuff like that, so no big. (It was a recycled sermon anyway. I just tweaked it for a new church.)
The big news is that tomorrow is L's first day of preschool. Yeah, it'll be way harder on me, I'm sure. She's really social and loves to be around other kids. I think she'll have a great time. They go outside for an hour twice a day, they do crafts and sing lots of songs-I know she'll love it. And of course, I will get far more work done without her demanding attention and I'll be able to talk to other adults who come in without interruption, but of course, I will miss her and miss seeing the adorable things she does and says and her saying, "Mommy, I missed you," even though we've been in the same room for the last three hours and all I did was go to the bathroom.
It was strange to take the list and go buy "school" supplies, even for preschool. My little girl is going to her first day of school. She's growing up too fast. No, really, I'm fine. Really.

Should I be nervous?

2007-11-30T18:47:00.001-04:00

Everyone keeps telling me not to be nervous about my first Sunday, etc. I'm not. Should I be? I suppose if I were fresh out of seminary without a lifetime of being a PK behind me, I might be, but my sermon is good, I've got a good liturgist helping out, I've been working in a church, even though not as a pastor, for the past three years-I feel good about everything at this point. Worship planning is one thing that just doesn't get to me. I actually enjoy that part.
I know that things will get crazier as we approach Christmas and my ordination, but I have L in preschool now, so I don't have to worry about her and that will give me some peace of mind. I even have some old sermons to draw on so I don't have to come up with all new ones. The church seems to already have all their Advent/Christmas events planned out. (Not to my liking, but that's another story and not something I can really change at this late date.)
I'll let you know how it goes!

First Day Down

2007-11-26T21:17:00.000-04:00

Today was my first day at work as pastor of the little not-quite-coastal church. I met several people who stopped in to say 'welcome.' There was a huge basket of goodies waiting on the desk when I came in. There were snacks, gift cards, toys for L, all kinds of nice stuff.
All in all, the time went by faster than I expected. I have L with me this week. I will get her enrolled in our preschool of choice starting next week, assuming I get all her paperwork from her old pediatrician on time.
Now, we just need lots of prayers for P to get a job soon. We're lonely up here without daddy.

Since I'm awake... (at 12:45)

2007-11-20T01:46:00.000-04:00

I might as well go ahead and type out my frustrations. I was reminded tonight of why I had never wanted to live in an apartment again. It's the neighbors.
About 11:15 I was awakened from a deep sleep by stomping, running, jumping, door slamming, etc. (elephant olympics?!?) in the apt. above. Ooooookaaaay. What's going on up there? Then I hear kid noises. Alright. Kids getting ready for bed. It's a little late for kids to be up, I think, but I understand. It can be a chore. I let it go on for about 10 minutes-that was when it woke up L-that made me a little upset. I mean, things are rattling in the cabinets and I startle every time something goes BANG or THUMP. I went up there, I was polite, I went back downstairs and waited... for well over an hour before I went back up. This time I spoke to the mom, (it was the dad the first time-he uttered exactly three syllables to me, "yeah," and "ok.") who explained that she had her six (six!) kids who had driven from IL with her and her husband, and they'd all slept and were wired and of course she was trying to calm them down... I explained that I too, had recently moved a long way and understood how tough it was, but I also had a child trying to sleep, as was I. She was apologetic. I was nice. I think things are quieter now, but I'm not sure it will last.
Did I mention that I'm fairly sure it's a one-bedroom like our place. Six kids!! (Pretty sure that's against policy, but I'm not a tattletale-yet.)
I think it's been quiet for the last several sentences. Might be time to try to sleep again. Wish me luck.

Becoming Real

2007-11-18T09:02:00.000-04:00

L and I settled into our temporary quarters in our new town. We drove for 9 hours straight with the dog and two cats. I was so glad to get out of the car. We'll be staying in a furnished one-bedroom apt. for about 2 or 3 months. It really depends on when P can get a job and move up here. It's a nice enough place, small, but not smaller than the place we lived in at the seminary, of course, we didn't have a kid and a small menagerie at that point either. :)
It's starting to sink in that I won't be going back to Huge Southern City, seeing all of our friends at Old (in so many ways) Church.
And ok, I admit, the worst part, to me, is going to be finding all the new places I'll have to go. P got me a going away present of a Garmin GPS. I have to say, I feel a lot better having it to guide me around in unfamiliar territory. But now there are things like finding a good grocery, a good pediatrician, a good family doctor, a good vet, a good child-caregiver, a good hair stylist, etc, etc, etc. Where is the post office, the library, the Target, the local coffee shop?
I start my first day in the office the Monday after T'giving. I really am looking forward to finally doing the job I spent 3 years in school training for and even though I didn't really love the 3 years I spent as an office admin, I think they really helped me prepare for the things they don't teach you about in seminary.
Please pray for my sanity as I live with all the critters in such a small space, without P for a couple months, beginning a new job in a new place...

2007-11-08T14:26:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how making huge life changes can bring out the best and worst in me. I'm feeling really out of control right now. Things aren't panning out for our move like I wish they had. L and I are going to be in a hotel (assuming we find one in the area that takes pets) for several nights, then we're driving about 4 hours to the in-laws for T'giving. Then we drive back, then we move into an apartment. Oh, and btw, I will be sans husband for all of this.
You might think that we could wait and go up later, but I start work the Monday after T'giving and I have to have a few days to find a childcare-giver for L before I start working and then of course the apt complex said they won't have anything available until after the holiday so we have to find a hotel that takes pets. So I figured I might as well drive to the in-laws for the holiday so I'm not paying for the hotel for all those nights. It's be way cheaper to board the animals than to stay in the hotel. (Can you hear the manic rise in my tone of voice? It's there, I assure you.)
On the up side, I'm getting rid of three + years of junk that's piled up in our house and it feels good. I have checked off finding an apartment, boarding the cats over T'giving, and making vet apts. to be sure everyone is healthy for the move (and can be tranqued for the drive). That looks like so little in writing... yikes.
I suppose I should get back to it.

Coming soon...

2007-11-05T12:34:00.000-04:00

In three weeks from today, I will be starting my first day in my new office. (Which, btw, the church is gutting in honor of my arrival and letting me pick everything from the wall color to all new furniture!) I will have to study and preach for a few months out of only one box of books that I will ship up in advance. Sounds impossible, but I suppose it can be done, or rather, it must be done, as the rest will be in storage for a while. Gotta get that packed and sent this week.
Two weeks from today, I will arrive in our new hometown. I will begin searching for quality child care for L. I will begin a lengthy, involuntary separation from P. He is searching for a job in the area, but is not sure how long it will take, so he is going to stay in City of Current Residence with his aunt and uncle until he's found a job and is ready to start work up there. I will also have all the animls with me. Gee, I can't wait to drive 9 hours with a 3 year old, a med-lg. dog, and two cats in the car. Oh, and somehow I will need to pack our luggage in there too. That's a tall order, even for Ru.
I feel like there is so much to do right now, though really there isn't. The movers will pack our stuff and store it. P has found a furnished apt. for me and L to live in for a while. We're waiting until the first of the new year to look at houses on the advice of our realtor who feels we'll get more for our money that way. P has found a place to stay. Mostly I just have to sit here and stew about all the changes happening in the next few weeks.
One week from today... it pains me to say, I will begin to acclimate my body to waking up early (well, earlier, anyway), getting in the shower, and being ready for my day before lunch time, as well as getting L ready for her day at the same time. Yeah, it's noon, I'm still in my pj's. What's it to ya?

Friday Five: Interviews

2007-11-02T08:49:00.000-04:00

Mother Laura over at RGBP was noticing that lots of the Rev Gals are interviewing these days. (I just gone done with some myself!) So she posts the following Friday Five:

1. What was the most memorable interview you ever had?
Probably the one that should never have taken place. I got a phone call from a church that wanted to do a phone interview, but that was the first I'd ever heard of this place, so I wanted a chance to look at their info and location. But I said a tentative yes, explaining that I needed a chance to look over their CIF (church information form, for you non-Presbys) and then after I'd read it, discovered this was not a place I felt called to. So after trying to call the number he gave me about 5 or 6 times in one night and several times over the next few days, (get this, no machine, no voicemail!) I decided to use the email from their information form. Apparently it was there for show because in no one checked it in a week's time and they still called me for the interview. I was not ready, to say the least. I went ahead with it since the whole committee had gathered for that purpose and I wasn't sure how appropriate it was for me to say, "Hey! I tried to call you all week, emailed you, etc. Don't you people check your communications?!" I must have done ok, b/c at the end of the interview they asked me to send sermon tapes. (Needless to say, what they got instead was a "no, thank you" letter.)

2. Have you ever been the interviewer rather than the interviewee? If so, are you a tiger, a creampuff, or somewhere in between?
I've never been an official interviewer for someone seeking a position, but I did ask plenty of questions when I was visiting the church that finally called me. So I suppose that was a sort of interview. That being the case, I'd say more like a tiger in creampuff clothing. No one would look at me and think 'intimidating,' but I know I asked some pretty good, well-aimed questions.

3. Do phone interviews make you more or less nervous than in-person ones?
More. I really like to be able to read cues like facial expressions and reactions and such when I'm talking to people.

4. What was the best advice you ever got to prepare for an interview? How about the worst?
It helped me to write down the answers to the most common questions, like "what are your strengths and weaknesses," etc. By the way, if you're ever on a committee, get more creative than that and "where do you see yourself in five to ten years." What kind of question is that to ask a pastor?!
Sorry, flashback.
Anyway, the other best advice was to have a drink next to me while I was on the phone. Yeah, a grown-up kind. They can't see it and I was way more relaxed. Personally, I prefer and gin & tonic with lots of lime.

5. Do you have any pre-interview rituals that give you confidence?
Nah, just gotta have daddy keep the kid out of the room so I can hear what they're asking if I'm going to be on the phone. Otherwise, for in person, I try to make myself eat something even if I'm too nervous to feel like eating, just so I don't feel ill later.

My new car!!!

2007-10-27T19:49:00.000-04:00

After lots of research into safety, handling, gas milage, etc., we settled on the Subaru Forester. Patrick has dubbed it 'Ru.' (yeah, we name our cars, what's it to ya?) It also happens that I used to live the next county over from the factory in IN during our time there and probably knew some of the people who built my car. I like that idea. I also like the idea that Subaru is very environmentally responsible with their factories. I like that it is super safe (5 star rating) for my little one, with all-time all-wheel drive and front and side-impact airbags. The gas mileage averages about 24 or 25 mpg between city and highway. Sure it could be better, but then I'd have to be driving a car that could not fit a kid, a husband, a dog and the groceries at the same time, which I do, in fact, need on some days. (Not to mention if there's ever a kid #2.)
I love it! I haven't had my own (working) car in a long time and feel pretty excited at the freedom I will have again. I can't say I'm going to miss my Grand Cherokee so much, though it was a good car as far as size and getting me where I wanted to go, and it was free. It was also just what I needed to recover my sense of safety on the road after our awful accident. I didn't figure there were too many other cars on the road that could aerial flip a big, red 4WD Jeep. But the gas mileage was terrible and it was old ('96) and we'd already replace the whole AC system and done some patch work on the trannie which finally gave out and needed to be replaced. So we just decided to hold out until I got a job and then buy something new. Now the American Cancer Society can deal with it however they like.
I will be interested to see how comfy it is for long trips when I drive it up to our new home in a few weeks. I'll let you know...

Friday Five (actually six): Apples and Pumpkins

2007-10-26T08:49:00.000-04:00

From Singing Owl at RGBP: All Hallows Eve (Halloween) is near. As a child, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. We didn’t yet worry about razor blades in apples or popcorn balls or some of the other concerns people have with Halloween these days. Halloween was a chance to be mildly scared, and better yet, to dress up and pretend to be something we really weren’t. Let’s talk about that a bit, but then let’s add in some food ideas for this year. Where I live the leaves are falling, the temperature is chilly and pumpkins are for sale everywhere, along with many kids of apples. What's more, the "Holiday Season" will soon be upon us. ACK! I could use a new idea for dessert. So, here we go…

1. How did you celebrate this time of year when you were a child?
We did dress up and trick-or-treat. I do remember one year having a sleep over party just for the fun on it and we made a spider web cake and had a spider web where you attach string to a prize and then wind it all over the room around the furniture, etc. and there's a pencil at the other end to wind the string around as the kids follow it around to their prize. This is great when there are about 10-12 kids at the party!

2. Do you and/or your family “celebrate” Halloween? Why or why not? And if you do, has it changed from what you used to do?
Well, we'll take L trick-or-treating, maybe go to the church's vespers/organ recital/dress up party this year. I put up the one string of bat lights I have. That's about what we did when I was a kid. We just didn't make a big deal. Oh, we did (and do) carve pumpkins. This seems like it was more for the sake of having some family time though, than really celebrating the holiday.

3. Candy apples: Do you prefer red cinnamon or caramel covered? Or something else?
Absolutly caramel! (I love caramel anything.) I admit, I even eat those caramel apple suckers, but I lick off the caramel and toss the nasty green apple part. Even better, dip the caramel apple in chocolate.

4. Pumpkins: Do you make Jack O’ Lanterns? Any ideas of what else to do with them?
We do like to carve pumpkins at our house-love those stencil kits! I'm with reverendmother that we love to roast the seeds. What else to do with them? Compost them, of course! (We've also been known to ignore them long enough that they cave in on themselves and look like little old people with no dentures in.)

5. Do you decorate your home for fall or Halloween? If so, what do you do? Bonus points for pictures.
We stick to the fall stuff mostly. As above, we'll put up our bat lights, but I'm not one to decorate for a one day holiday. At least at Thanksgiving you can get the whole weekend out of, but since you can also use most of the fall decor for it too, it lasts most of the season.
I really wish I had some pictures of the decorations of some of the neighbors in the area. They really get into halloween. It's a little disturbing really. Maybe I'll try to get some photos this weekend and post them later.

6. Do you like pretending to be something different? Does a costume bring our an alternate personality?
Costumes are fun, but I'm not really into the alternate personality. I do like to find something I can use a cheesy accent with though.

Bonus: Share your favorite recipe for an autumn food, particularly apple or pumpkin ones.
This in one of our favorites, it's a little more involved than the one in the link at the bottom, but the spices and caramelization are sooooo good!
Sweet and Spicy Pumpkin Seeds (from MSLiving-with my own commentary)
Ingredients:
1 medium pumpkin
5 tablespoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
Pinch of cayenne pepper, to taste
1 1/2 tablespoons peanut oil (I usually use canola or even olive oil-though recently I'm into grapeseed oil)

Directions
Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper (or spray with cooking spray). Cut pumpkin open from the bottom (we do this from the top since we roast the seeds from the pumpkin we're carving for a jack-o-lantern), removing seeds. Separate flesh from seeds (I rinse them in a colander to get all the slime off). Pumpkin should yield about 1 cup seeds (it doesn't matter except you might need a little more spices if you have much more than that). Spread seeds on parchment in an even layer. Bake until dry (the dry part is important), stirring occasionally, about 1 hour. Let cool. (We do this while we're carving the pumkin so the wait doesn't seem so long.)
In a medium bowl combine 3 tablespoons sugar, salt, cumin, cinnamon, ginger, and cayenne. Heat peanut oil (or whatever you have) in a large nonstick skillet over high heat. Add pumpkin seeds and remaining 2 tablespoons sugar. Cook until sugar melts and pumpkin seeds begin to caramelize, about 45 to 60 seconds. Transfer to bowl with spices, and stir well to coat. Let cool. These may be stored in an airtight container for up to 1 week.

This is a much simpler, but equally tasty recipe if you want to try it. Pumpkin Seeds with Cinnamon and Salt.

Here are a couple other ideas.
Pumpkin pudding (yeah, it's even WW friendly)
Make a box of sugar-free, fat-free Jell-O pudding (I love the vanilla or cheesecake flavors) according to the box. Add half a can of real pumpkin (not pie filling), add cinnamon, cloves, allspice, according to taste, add half a container of cool-whip lite. Way good in a parfait with gingerbread.

I also make a great pumpkin-cream cheese pie. It's a great twist on the classic. Don't have the recipe on hand, but if anyone's interested, I can always post it later.

It is finished...

2007-10-24T09:42:00.000-04:00

Yesterday before lunchtime, I was examined and approved by Coastal Presbytery to be ordained and installed at Church Much Nearer to My In-Laws. Several people from the PNC and a couple of others were there to cheer me on. It was nerve wracking and the two young men also being examined were much more graceful under pressure than I was, I'm afraid, but in the end it all came to the desired conclusion.
I'm very excited about this church, and they seem equally excited to have me. Their last couple of pastors were old men ready to retire, who just wanted a way to coast into their retirement and not have to do a lot of care for the people, so they'd just get into the pulpit on Sundays, show up for session and that was about it. They seem really ready for something new and fresh, and I guess that's me. I'm really looking forward to meeting the rest of the people, b/c if they're even half as lovely as the people on the PNC, I'll be in good shape.
I owe a debt of gratitude to the supply pastor who has been there the last few months, as she is the first woman that church has ever had in their pulpit (there are not a whole lot of women in this presbytery, small though it is). She blazed the trail for me and I am very grateful.
The members of CP were also lovely and I received many, many welcomes and well-wishes.
No more hoops!!!

That time of year.

2007-10-21T10:28:00.000-04:00

I love fall, pretty much everything about it. The chill in the air, the smells, the bright, clear skies, the colors. Of course, it's also the worst time of year for my allergies. I guess you can't win 'em all. But for some reason, the moment there's a chill in the air, I get the urge to bake, specifically, cookies. I'm sure it stems from the tradition of making Christmas cookies in our family, but we never did that until December. But for me, once it's chilly in the evenings and it starts to get dark earlier, I just want to bake cookies. The spicy smell, the warmth from the oven, it's so comforting (also, unfortunately, fattening.) My favorites though, I do save for Christmas time. The honey cakes (lebkuchen for you German speakers), anise cakes (a.k.a., cement blocks or springerle) Kris Kringles, peppermint balls, bourbon balls, cinnamon almond bars, and I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting, but I'm already drooling thinking about them all. Oddly, we almost never decorated sugar cookies at our house when I was a kid. I do remember a few time, usually for a class party or something at school, but that was unusual.
The honey cakes are the ones I have the best memories of. You have to start them two weeks ahead of time to make the dough and then let them rise, very, very slowly, since there is no yeast, in a cool place for those two weeks. My mother even has a special honey cake pot that I don't think get used for anything else during the year. In fact, she just got me my own honey cake pot, though I will probably use it for soups and such also. Then, when they bake, the spices and honey getting all warm in the oven, oooohhh yeah!
Apparently, though, they are an aquired taste. When my husband said, "yeah, they're ok," the first time I made them, I about fell over in shock. "What? You mean they're not the best cookie ever?!" Well, ok, maybe you have to have the Swiss German genes that come from my family.
What are your favorite cookies? Make a few and save me some. Happy baking!

One week...

2007-10-16T11:54:00.000-04:00

until I go before presbytery for my final examination. I've chosen to be examined by the presbytery into which I am going, as opposed to the one from whence I came. Old presbytery, the one I'm supposed to be "under care" of, didn't do a lot of caring for me. New presbytery is seeming a lot more supportive already. I'm hoping it will be pretty smooth. Like I said before, there are 3 of us and we all have to preach and answer the standard questions. I hope that folks will trust the examinations committee and let us just go with that.
I've got my sermon ready. It's on Moses' call, burning bushes and all. I hope it will preach.
Otherwise, we're trying to get things organized, cleaned up, painted, etc., to get ready for our move. We're renting, but we agreed to paint the ceilings and stain the deck in lieu of a security deposit. We're also trying to tame the garden beds which were full of out-of-control rosemary hedges and wild blackberry thorns and even some poison ivy when we got here. I like to garden, but it's hard to get something under control when it was so crazy to begin with. I don't think they'd cared for the garden much in the several months the house was vacant before we moved in.
P is on a rampage to get rid of all of our 'junk' before we move. Of course, to him, that means all of my stuff that he doesn't understand why I keep (like, gasp, my yarn stash!) This, coming from the guy who has a box under the bed full of stuff from high school and college (like plastic cups and a faux lei from some frat party he really enjoyed putting together) that he hasn't even looked at more than once since we got married-and that was just to open the box to see what was in it and then shoving it back under the bed. I think I may make him a deal that he gets rid of the stuff he hasn't looked at in over a couple of years, and I'll donate to our church knit/crochet group any yarn I don't have a specific project in mind for. Knitters, doesn't this sound like a fair deal?
On that note, I'm almost done with a pair of socks for my sister. See side bar.

Friday Five: The B-I-B-L-E

2007-10-12T08:20:00.000-04:00

Posted at RevGalBlogPals by Mother Laura who says:
I have been working on an expansive language version of the Psalms and the Liturgy of the Hours/Divine Office/Breviary. (For you non-liturgical gals and pals, that's a set of prayers for morning, noon, evening, etc., mostly consisting of Psalms and other biblical texts). So I have been thinking a lot about the Bible recently, and how we encounter it as God's Word--or don't--in our lives, prayer, and ministry. (Great minds think somewhat alike this week, as yesterday's Ask The Matriarch post dealt with ways to help as many people in a community as possible engage with a scriptural text in preparation for Sunday worship). So, in that spirit, I offer my first Friday Five. I'm looking forward to hearing everyone's experience and reflection on these B-I-B-L-E questions:

1. What is your earliest memory of encountering a biblical text?
My memory isn't always the best, but for some reason Noah's ark keeps coming into my head. I know I was a total animal lover as a kid, so this would really have appealed.

2. What is your favorite biblical translation, and why? (You might have a few for different purposes).
I like the NRSV for it's dedication to accuracy and even trying to use more inclusive language. I also like the New Jerusalem, it tends to have a more lyrical/poetic quality in some places. It gives a different perspective without being too archaic.

3. What is your favorite book of the Bible? Your favorite verse/passage?
Now see, my CPM tried to ask me this too. They seem to think I ought to have a favorite, or if not, I must not read the Bible enough. (issues here?!) Well, I'm here to declare it! I don't have a favorite anything., not book, not chapter, not verse. I love different books and verses at different times, for different reasons. It depends on what I'm dealing with, what mood I'm in, what the situation calls for. That being said, I do like Paul's writings and Isaiah.

4. Which book of the Bible do you consider, in Luther's famous words about James, to be "an epistle of straw?" Which verse(s) make you want to scream?
I'm not a big fan of Timothy and a few of the other not-really-written-by-Paul letters, the patriarchal language is infuriating to me.

5. Inclusive language in biblical translation and liturgical proclamation: for, against, or neutral?
Absolutely for. Somehow we've forgotten (intentionally?) that we're all, male and female, Jew and Gentile, slave and free, made in the image of God. I don't think, though, that it should swing so heavily back the other direction that God becomes almost exclusively female.

Bonus: Back to the Psalms--which one best speaks the prayer of your heart?
I really like Psalm 121. It's a good reminder that God indeed will care for us and keep us safe.

Four Things

2007-10-11T12:49:00.000-04:00

I haven't done the "four things" yet, and I'm such a dork that no one has tagged me and I still want to do it.
So here 'tis.

Four Jobs I've Held:
camp counselor
understudy librarian (work study)
childcare provider
church office admin

Four Films I Could Watch Over and Over:
Chocolat
Serenity
Heist
Mary Poppins

Four TV Shows I Watch:
Eureka
Battlestar Gallactica
House
Myth Busters

Four Places I've Lived:
teeny tiny 2 room seminary married student housing (2000-2003)
wonderful apartment (2003-2004)
really crappy apartment (2004, 2005)
rental house (2005-present)

Four Favorite Foods:
mayan choc. ice cream
portobello ravioli
crab cakes
grilled pizza with fresh mozzarella, fresh tomato, olive oil and fresh basil

Four Websites I Visit Daily (or at least 5 times a week):
Google
Paperback swap (ok, almost daily)
RevGals
Knitty (again, almost daily)

Four Favorite Colors:
sapphire blue
L's honey/caramel blonde
cranberry red
silver

Four Places I Would Love to be Right Now:
Lake house in Canada
beach house on Corolla
mountin cabin w/ P
moved into our new house (even though we haven't picked it out yet)

Four Names You Love, But Could/Would Not Use for Your Children:
Elizabeth (name of psycho, and I mean really psycho, ex-gf of hubby many years ago)
Molly (sounds silly/cutsie with our last name)
Lucy (same as above)
hubby's name, jr. (I just don't like that idea for some reason)