I've never claimed to be good at blogging. It gets away from me with all the other writing I seem to need to get done. I keep saying I want it to be a discipline and maybe I'll get around to it, but disciplines aren't really my thing. I'm the free-spirit creative type. Probably means I need the discipline, but then, I'm not going to claim that I'm good at doing what I need either.
This Advent has been a particularly good one here. I was able to get things done ahead, both at work and at home, I'm glad to say. The joy of less stress is one of the best gifts for this time of year.
I realized the other day that I'm craving some radicality in my life these days. I'm not talking sky-diving or anything, but just some change that might actually help usher in the kingdom. I'm seeing these amazing churches that actually change the way that people see and do things. I want to be a part of one of those, help lead people to news ways of thinking and believing. Right now I feel in a bit of a rut. The church I lead now is not interested in becoming more than they are, even in good ways. It is in survival mode, as are many churches these days. Human capital is at a premium and when we try to start something new, it usually gets hailed as a great idea, but then falls by the wayside when no one wants to actually work to get it off the ground or keep it going.
In other news, we did get that admin!! I realize now just how much of my time was spent doing clerical work. I feel like I'm able to devote so much more time to pastoral duties, and I think my sermons are even doing better as I don't have to put them off to the last minute as often.
That's where I am...
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
un-holy week
It's holy week and that means crunch time. With Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and 2 services on Sunday, it gets a little crazy. Plus somewhere in there I have to dye eggs with the kids and get the Easter baskets ready (yeah, the easter bunny comes to the pastor's house... what of it?)
Thankfully, the duties of three of those 4 services are shared. Still, it is a lot to have to be prepared for. I find being "on" in front of so many folks very emotionally and physically draining. Even as an extrovert. Still, I have been known to have some rather un-holy thoughts about holy week. Wishing it were over, shorter, fewer events.
Might I just add that having spring break this week... doesn't. help. one. bit.
Ok, so I've got all that off my chest. What's really been on my mind lately is all the back and forth energy going on in the church right now. The session has lots of positive stuff going on--they're really on board with some changes that need to be made, yet they let themselves get all in a dither about what the congregation will say. Ok, I know we want to be transparent and maybe even compassionate in our change-making processes. But when we let ourselves get all worked up about what people will say and think and will that make them stop giving... well, being enthusiastic about changes is great, but not if you can't follow up on them for fear of what other people will do.
It's a bizarre dicotome. At the last session meeting, everyone on the session was convinced and excited that we did in fact need to hire a part time admin. asst. Not just for me, but for all the leadership in the church, as a way to take the busy work off our hands so that the leadership can focus on the leading part of their work. The motion to hire was on the table. Then came the discussion. People began to fret about how we present this idea to the congregation, aware that money is a huge pink elephant in our church. And how, of course, the ones who are the most vocal, negatively, about spending are the ones who don't tithe and won't up their pledges from what they started with 30 years ago. But I digress. So we talked round and round and finally tabled the motion. Basically, we got nowhere. Yes, the session thinks it's a great idea, but how do we convince everyone else? They'll say it's already getting done, so why pay someone else to do it? (BTW, *I'm* the current secretary--this is not working out well in many regards)
It's going to test my patience, I have no doubt. I think it will get done, maybe even in this calendar year, but not by much.
So let's just say that that whole big presentation on risk taking that we heard at the last retreat--yeah, maybe it's time to pull that back out again.
Thankfully, the duties of three of those 4 services are shared. Still, it is a lot to have to be prepared for. I find being "on" in front of so many folks very emotionally and physically draining. Even as an extrovert. Still, I have been known to have some rather un-holy thoughts about holy week. Wishing it were over, shorter, fewer events.
Might I just add that having spring break this week... doesn't. help. one. bit.
Ok, so I've got all that off my chest. What's really been on my mind lately is all the back and forth energy going on in the church right now. The session has lots of positive stuff going on--they're really on board with some changes that need to be made, yet they let themselves get all in a dither about what the congregation will say. Ok, I know we want to be transparent and maybe even compassionate in our change-making processes. But when we let ourselves get all worked up about what people will say and think and will that make them stop giving... well, being enthusiastic about changes is great, but not if you can't follow up on them for fear of what other people will do.
It's a bizarre dicotome. At the last session meeting, everyone on the session was convinced and excited that we did in fact need to hire a part time admin. asst. Not just for me, but for all the leadership in the church, as a way to take the busy work off our hands so that the leadership can focus on the leading part of their work. The motion to hire was on the table. Then came the discussion. People began to fret about how we present this idea to the congregation, aware that money is a huge pink elephant in our church. And how, of course, the ones who are the most vocal, negatively, about spending are the ones who don't tithe and won't up their pledges from what they started with 30 years ago. But I digress. So we talked round and round and finally tabled the motion. Basically, we got nowhere. Yes, the session thinks it's a great idea, but how do we convince everyone else? They'll say it's already getting done, so why pay someone else to do it? (BTW, *I'm* the current secretary--this is not working out well in many regards)
It's going to test my patience, I have no doubt. I think it will get done, maybe even in this calendar year, but not by much.
So let's just say that that whole big presentation on risk taking that we heard at the last retreat--yeah, maybe it's time to pull that back out again.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Shifting
We are approaching our annual leadership retreat for the church this weekend. Myself and a few other 'visionary' leaders are aiming to begin what I am sure will be a long and sometimes painful process of transformation. A transformation from an inward focused congregation to an outward focused congregation.
I've done lots of reading on congregational transformation. It's not always a nice thing. Many people (usually older) resist the change because they like church to be all about them. The church is there to care for them and their needs and to make them feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, I have yet to see any evidence of this being a biblical model of church.
So often we forget that we have been called to "go and make disciples of all nations" and that the way of Christ is not always easy. Christ's way is a way of service and compassion--two things I see many mainline churches sadly lacking. Sure, we have compassion for each other, our own members--but not for those outside our walls, the ones truly hurting and in need.
This is a total paradigm shift from the church of the 1950's era. This is the church model I'm fighting against. A model that allowed church to be on par with a social club like Rotary or Lions club. A model that saw church as a place to see and be seen, a place that you went because that's 'what nice people do.' A model that even had a dress code or you weren't allowed in.
That's a lot to go up against. I'm glad I have a few folks who are interested in and committed to fighting this battle with me. As one of them put it, "we're turning a barge around in a ditch." Yep. That's about right. Pray for us, k?
I've done lots of reading on congregational transformation. It's not always a nice thing. Many people (usually older) resist the change because they like church to be all about them. The church is there to care for them and their needs and to make them feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, I have yet to see any evidence of this being a biblical model of church.
So often we forget that we have been called to "go and make disciples of all nations" and that the way of Christ is not always easy. Christ's way is a way of service and compassion--two things I see many mainline churches sadly lacking. Sure, we have compassion for each other, our own members--but not for those outside our walls, the ones truly hurting and in need.
This is a total paradigm shift from the church of the 1950's era. This is the church model I'm fighting against. A model that allowed church to be on par with a social club like Rotary or Lions club. A model that saw church as a place to see and be seen, a place that you went because that's 'what nice people do.' A model that even had a dress code or you weren't allowed in.
That's a lot to go up against. I'm glad I have a few folks who are interested in and committed to fighting this battle with me. As one of them put it, "we're turning a barge around in a ditch." Yep. That's about right. Pray for us, k?
Monday, June 14, 2010
On Being of the Female Persuasion and in the Ministry
Being a woman in the ministry is something that I didn't worry too much about when I came here, even though I was the first woman that this congregation had ever had. I was more concerned about my age--more specifically, my age compared to the average age of this congregation (and the denomination as a whole).
Over at RGBP this past week, there was a post on what to look out for being the first woman pastor of a congregation. It got me thinking of the challenges that I have faced over the past two and a half years. Honestly, most of them aren't due to my gender. Some folks have been a little less confortable than others. I don't think we lost anyone over it, at least not that I'm aware of. But as pointed out in one of the comments to the post, I am tangling a bit now with some of the matriarch/patriarch 'dynasties' in the church. This is unraveling in several ways. Mostly it is coming about with knit-picky snipping at me for what they see me not doing to their particular liking or standards. "We've come to expect better (fill in the blank) from our pastors here," is a frequent relay.
Thankfully, I know I also have some staunch supporters who are excited about my ministry with this church and know that I care for the congregation (knit-pickers and all!) and that change is always a painful experience, especially for smaller congregations.
Probably harder than anything else is being a mom and a minister. I'm still the primary care-giver. I am thankful that my vocation allows me some flexibility to my schedule. Who says I have to sit in my office to write a sermon? I have a laptop. Starbucks, anyone? Some members believe that ministry ought to be a career like any other. 9-5, fire at will, that they as the members are my 'boss,' that sort of thing. But I have some wise lay people who reminded me that my 'contract' is actually called a 'covenant.' That is, in the sense of a marriage. I don't actually work for the church, I work for Christ--he's the boss! I was called to lead and minister to this church in the name of Christ, as his disciple. I am blessed to have wonderful colleagues and lay people to help me sort all this out and help me to realize what is actually beneath some of the knit-picking. Once I know the root, it's far more easily addressed and the lay leaders who are not part of the entrenched dynasties are wonderful at taking the leadership mantle and addressing the rest of the congregation when those sorts of critical comments would be better received that way than from me.
I am also blessed to have many wonderful female colleagues in the area. Even though I am the only woman pastor in my town, the rest of the men that I have encountered of other denominations have been very open and we have good collegial relationships. But I also know that I couldn't make it without my minister girl-friends! We are all in similar situations and it is so helpful to know that small churches are fairly predictable and I'm not going through this alone.
Still, I have been very well received by the majority of folks here in my congregation. My pillars are very good to me and help remind me why my work here is still very relevant. I know that the Spirit is moving and shaking here and we have to lead, follow, or get out of the way! TBTG!
Over at RGBP this past week, there was a post on what to look out for being the first woman pastor of a congregation. It got me thinking of the challenges that I have faced over the past two and a half years. Honestly, most of them aren't due to my gender. Some folks have been a little less confortable than others. I don't think we lost anyone over it, at least not that I'm aware of. But as pointed out in one of the comments to the post, I am tangling a bit now with some of the matriarch/patriarch 'dynasties' in the church. This is unraveling in several ways. Mostly it is coming about with knit-picky snipping at me for what they see me not doing to their particular liking or standards. "We've come to expect better (fill in the blank) from our pastors here," is a frequent relay.
Thankfully, I know I also have some staunch supporters who are excited about my ministry with this church and know that I care for the congregation (knit-pickers and all!) and that change is always a painful experience, especially for smaller congregations.
Probably harder than anything else is being a mom and a minister. I'm still the primary care-giver. I am thankful that my vocation allows me some flexibility to my schedule. Who says I have to sit in my office to write a sermon? I have a laptop. Starbucks, anyone? Some members believe that ministry ought to be a career like any other. 9-5, fire at will, that they as the members are my 'boss,' that sort of thing. But I have some wise lay people who reminded me that my 'contract' is actually called a 'covenant.' That is, in the sense of a marriage. I don't actually work for the church, I work for Christ--he's the boss! I was called to lead and minister to this church in the name of Christ, as his disciple. I am blessed to have wonderful colleagues and lay people to help me sort all this out and help me to realize what is actually beneath some of the knit-picking. Once I know the root, it's far more easily addressed and the lay leaders who are not part of the entrenched dynasties are wonderful at taking the leadership mantle and addressing the rest of the congregation when those sorts of critical comments would be better received that way than from me.
I am also blessed to have many wonderful female colleagues in the area. Even though I am the only woman pastor in my town, the rest of the men that I have encountered of other denominations have been very open and we have good collegial relationships. But I also know that I couldn't make it without my minister girl-friends! We are all in similar situations and it is so helpful to know that small churches are fairly predictable and I'm not going through this alone.
Still, I have been very well received by the majority of folks here in my congregation. My pillars are very good to me and help remind me why my work here is still very relevant. I know that the Spirit is moving and shaking here and we have to lead, follow, or get out of the way! TBTG!
Monday, June 15, 2009
new things
Wow! Hadn't realized how long it's been. Since before my maternity leave even. I've been back for two weeks now. It's been a fairly easy transition. Baby M is with me for the summer in the office until big sis goes to kindergarten in the fall. (Just can't afford two kids in child care at once!) She's done very well and I am able to work around her easily with a few simple tweaks in my time management.
Not to say that I'm not keeping busy. Summer is usually a slow time of year with people going on vacations and such, but right now I'm looking at planning for the officer training and retreat at the end of the summer, and best of all, welcoming five new members and officiating a couple of baptisms. What a joy!
Not to say that I'm not keeping busy. Summer is usually a slow time of year with people going on vacations and such, but right now I'm looking at planning for the officer training and retreat at the end of the summer, and best of all, welcoming five new members and officiating a couple of baptisms. What a joy!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
blowing over and other things
Well, it seems like perhaps things are blowing over with the organist. She was pleasant and cordial today. 'Course I'm still wary since I know the ways of Grande Southern Dames. (We used to call them GSLQ's way back--Grand Southern Ladies of Quality.) Sadly, I feel like I will have to keep my guard up and my smile on around her for a while yet to come. Still, I don't sense the frosty acidity that was there before.
On a totally separate note: Go over here and join in the discussion about confession and reformed worship. Lots of great musings!
On a totally separate note: Go over here and join in the discussion about confession and reformed worship. Lots of great musings!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Maybe I'll post this one... maybe
I had no idea it had been so long since I posted a sermon. What a lazy pants I am! Ok, so some of it is my own insecurity, but a lot of it can be chalked up to laziness since I'm terrible about citing sources when I write sermons. My sermons are recorded, but only for the church library and I'm not one of those nuts (yes, I know some) who insist on verbally citing during their sermons. Now, if it's somebody really famous, I'll mention who said what, but I truly know people who will interrupt the flow of a sermon to say something like, "On page 78 of the Interpreters Bible Dictionary, it says that camels..." you get the idea. Eesh!
I've got a pretty good one in the works right now I think, which I really should be working on instead of posting, but I needed a break. We've made 2009 the Year of the Steward, so at least once a month I'm working on a sermon to go along with different themes of stewardship, like stewardship of the gospel, of the earth, of relationships, of community, of finances, etc. Each month (or often a pair of months) has a different theme, and at least one Sunday each month will have a sermon related to it. I'm trying to make it the second Sunday, so as not to interfere with communion on the first Sundays. We'll see how it goes.
Baby (or as P calls her, "the parasite") is making it quite uncomfortable for me to sit and write. She seems rather riled up at the moment and is kicking my ribs on one end and punching my bladder on the other. The trials of being short-waisted--both this one and her big sister were already up into my ribs by about 6 months. She really likes her space and does NOT like to be squished up at all. She prefers to stretch out and move around as much as she can. L was like that too. She never wanted to be swaddled as a baby either, hated to be confined.
Well, now that both cats are here, lying all over my books and papers, I guess I'm ready to get back to it...
I've got a pretty good one in the works right now I think, which I really should be working on instead of posting, but I needed a break. We've made 2009 the Year of the Steward, so at least once a month I'm working on a sermon to go along with different themes of stewardship, like stewardship of the gospel, of the earth, of relationships, of community, of finances, etc. Each month (or often a pair of months) has a different theme, and at least one Sunday each month will have a sermon related to it. I'm trying to make it the second Sunday, so as not to interfere with communion on the first Sundays. We'll see how it goes.
Baby (or as P calls her, "the parasite") is making it quite uncomfortable for me to sit and write. She seems rather riled up at the moment and is kicking my ribs on one end and punching my bladder on the other. The trials of being short-waisted--both this one and her big sister were already up into my ribs by about 6 months. She really likes her space and does NOT like to be squished up at all. She prefers to stretch out and move around as much as she can. L was like that too. She never wanted to be swaddled as a baby either, hated to be confined.
Well, now that both cats are here, lying all over my books and papers, I guess I'm ready to get back to it...
to good friends and prayers
Thank you all for prayers and thoughts and encouragements. Tuesday's 'intervention' went ok. No one said anything nasty, emotions were held in check (pregnant hormones and all), and overall I think we got some good things worked out. On the other hand, I am not quite sure I got through to her that gossip is bad. She seemed to keep saying something to the effect that because she asked God for forgiveness (though not me) that all was ok again. I didn't get the feeling that she was particularly sorry for her actions, though she had plenty of excuses. I want to debrief with the woman who came with me from the relations team. I figure this will either A) blow over, or B) she'll go out and start the gossip again with something to the effect of "She couldn't even come to me on her own, she had to bring ___ with her as back up," etc., even though both ___ and I made it very clear why she was there and in what capacity. Sadly, in my experience, once a gossip, always a gossip.
But, and I can't remember if I said it in the last post, I am comforted in the knowledge that my session (minus Ms. Gossip), and most of my members understand her ways and pretty much all of them have my back. Dad's been through this sort of thing a number of times and had some good advice too. It always helps to hear what other people have been through and done at times like these.
Thank you all, dear friends.
But, and I can't remember if I said it in the last post, I am comforted in the knowledge that my session (minus Ms. Gossip), and most of my members understand her ways and pretty much all of them have my back. Dad's been through this sort of thing a number of times and had some good advice too. It always helps to hear what other people have been through and done at times like these.
Thank you all, dear friends.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
You'd think they'd know better
It took over a year, but I'm finally finding out what gossip and slander patterns are in this small congregation. Of course, it would have to be aimed at me... (sigh)
Apparently, my mind reading skills were off right around Christmas and I did not receive the telepathic communications from a member that she needed to be contacted or visited every single day during her (not-so-serious) illness. Her symptoms were not serious (mostly fatigue in a woman who was usually quite active, and loss of appetite); she never had to go into the hospital; I did make contact by phone a couple of time and knew that my deacons were on top of things, and since I'm sounding defensive anyway, I'll add that it WAS right before Christmas. I tried as hard as I could to make myself available with as little effort as a phone call. Was I right or wrong? Don't care, can't change it.
What I care about is that about a week later I hear she's bitching to anyone with ears (except me!) about how I didn't meet her needs, didn't do this or that or the other. (Aside: though I didn't know it at the time, I was supposed to speak to her before church last Sunday. Well, normally, before worship, I'm so focused on preparing that I don't really talk to anyone. Again, mind reading not so good these days. This caused a whole new round of slander. I actually intentionally sought her after the service, but she and her family apparently were so mad about the other perceived slights that they left early to avoid me.) The person who approached me about the situation was very kind about it all and let me know that, apparently, this whole family has a history with the church of what she called, "Entitlement syndrome." Wish I'd known that BEFORE all this went down...
What's worse, she's an active elder on my session. We have a pastor/parish relations committee under the communications team for EXACTLY this sort of situation, which, as an elder, she should have known and utilized. Not to mention that, as a Christian, she should know that talking about someone rather than to them is NEVER the right thing to do. Have I mentioned how much I hate, loathe, abhor gossip (and especially when it's about me)? Yeah, well...
Good news is that when I heard about it third hand, I did go to the p/p relations comm. and the chair is going to sit with us as mediator to help us work this out.
If I've ever needed prayers, it's tomorrow around 10 am. That's when we'll be sitting down to work this out. Trust is diminished, pastoral thoughts are tough to come by, and of course, feelings are hurt. Let's hope my inner sixth grader stays home.
Apparently, my mind reading skills were off right around Christmas and I did not receive the telepathic communications from a member that she needed to be contacted or visited every single day during her (not-so-serious) illness. Her symptoms were not serious (mostly fatigue in a woman who was usually quite active, and loss of appetite); she never had to go into the hospital; I did make contact by phone a couple of time and knew that my deacons were on top of things, and since I'm sounding defensive anyway, I'll add that it WAS right before Christmas. I tried as hard as I could to make myself available with as little effort as a phone call. Was I right or wrong? Don't care, can't change it.
What I care about is that about a week later I hear she's bitching to anyone with ears (except me!) about how I didn't meet her needs, didn't do this or that or the other. (Aside: though I didn't know it at the time, I was supposed to speak to her before church last Sunday. Well, normally, before worship, I'm so focused on preparing that I don't really talk to anyone. Again, mind reading not so good these days. This caused a whole new round of slander. I actually intentionally sought her after the service, but she and her family apparently were so mad about the other perceived slights that they left early to avoid me.) The person who approached me about the situation was very kind about it all and let me know that, apparently, this whole family has a history with the church of what she called, "Entitlement syndrome." Wish I'd known that BEFORE all this went down...
What's worse, she's an active elder on my session. We have a pastor/parish relations committee under the communications team for EXACTLY this sort of situation, which, as an elder, she should have known and utilized. Not to mention that, as a Christian, she should know that talking about someone rather than to them is NEVER the right thing to do. Have I mentioned how much I hate, loathe, abhor gossip (and especially when it's about me)? Yeah, well...
Good news is that when I heard about it third hand, I did go to the p/p relations comm. and the chair is going to sit with us as mediator to help us work this out.
If I've ever needed prayers, it's tomorrow around 10 am. That's when we'll be sitting down to work this out. Trust is diminished, pastoral thoughts are tough to come by, and of course, feelings are hurt. Let's hope my inner sixth grader stays home.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
the first shoe...
After more than a year of relative calm and quiet, it looks like I am dealing with my first serious member illness and very likely immanent death. (I say that knowing this is a relatively anonymous blog.) It's pancreatic cancer. Sadly, not good statistics for remission. And she's an elderly lady as well, though fairly spunky. She was diagnosed last week and the family is still reeling. She's been released from the hospital to the skilled nursing facility of the nursing home/retirement community where she and her husband live. I won't speculate at this point about what that means.
I haven't even been a part of a funeral other than observer. While I don't mind them, I fret about saying the wrong thing. While that may be putting the cart before the horse, the truth is, it's just about certain to come sooner rather than later--hers or someone else's.
Prayers for Spirit intervention--for me and them--are coveted as we continue on this journey.
I haven't even been a part of a funeral other than observer. While I don't mind them, I fret about saying the wrong thing. While that may be putting the cart before the horse, the truth is, it's just about certain to come sooner rather than later--hers or someone else's.
Prayers for Spirit intervention--for me and them--are coveted as we continue on this journey.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Winding Up
The official wind up for Christmas begins at church this week. We start tonight with the Diaconate team hosting a Chrismon tree decorating dinner. We'll have soup and sandwiches, a short devotion (not led by me) and then go in and decorate the tree. I accepted the request to bring a crock pot of chili (I DO make a pretty good chili, I admit) and decided to bake a loaf of bread to go with it and it's in the oven now, and smelling amazing. Let's hope that I can manage to make it out the door with the camera and then maybe I can have this year's pictures of the little one (who's really not so little any more) by the Chrismon tree again.
Sunday is the children's program, which we'll put on during worship, so that means I don't have to preach--a good thing since I seem to be more tired this week than usual (the dreary, rainy days may be a big part of that) and I can usually find an excuse to come home in the afternoons and take a nap.
Then there's session meeting in a week, then, wow, it's the fourth sunday in advent! that's the week we do gift wrapping for the church's social services christmas family and go caroling afterwards. We'll do a traditional candlelight service of nine lessons and carols on Christmas Eve. I am so proud of my youth, every one of them stepped up, from seven years old on up to seventeen to do a scripture reading that night (ok, so I think some of them were forced by their parents, but still, most of them volunteered)
At home though, we just this week got out the decorations, discovered that P will have to make a new stand for the fake tree that lost a leg in the move and so we probably won't get it up soon since he'll have to make that before we can get it up and he is planning on going out of town to visit his family this weekend so it won't happen then either. Blah. Blah, blah, blah. The tree is the one thing that makes it feel like Christmas for me, at least inside the house. (Outside, it's the neighbors who have had lights up since thanksgiving, covering every square inch of their house and yard--ok, not really, but it's quite a sight!)
Sunday is the children's program, which we'll put on during worship, so that means I don't have to preach--a good thing since I seem to be more tired this week than usual (the dreary, rainy days may be a big part of that) and I can usually find an excuse to come home in the afternoons and take a nap.
Then there's session meeting in a week, then, wow, it's the fourth sunday in advent! that's the week we do gift wrapping for the church's social services christmas family and go caroling afterwards. We'll do a traditional candlelight service of nine lessons and carols on Christmas Eve. I am so proud of my youth, every one of them stepped up, from seven years old on up to seventeen to do a scripture reading that night (ok, so I think some of them were forced by their parents, but still, most of them volunteered)
At home though, we just this week got out the decorations, discovered that P will have to make a new stand for the fake tree that lost a leg in the move and so we probably won't get it up soon since he'll have to make that before we can get it up and he is planning on going out of town to visit his family this weekend so it won't happen then either. Blah. Blah, blah, blah. The tree is the one thing that makes it feel like Christmas for me, at least inside the house. (Outside, it's the neighbors who have had lights up since thanksgiving, covering every square inch of their house and yard--ok, not really, but it's quite a sight!)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Conversations with a Curmudgeon
I have this wonderful old man in my congregation. He sits near the front each week in exactly the same spot. He very rarely says a word to anyone, and only ever comes to worship--that's it, nothing else, ever. He usually looks like he's sleeping during my sermons, but will sometimes surprise me with a follow-up email note about something I've said. Usually something he didn't like, but hey, I'm not easily offended, so no big.
Like I said, he doesn't talk much, but he's one of the few old folks in the church who uses email pretty well. So he'll send me a message, and again, it's usually a complaint couched in a 'suggestion.' He'd prefer worship using the KJV and no hymns written before 1900 (not said quite so overtly, but I got the hint). Ok, so that's not really my style, though I've tried not to go too radical for this church. They like traditional. I'm fine with that as long as it doesn't end up mind-numbingly boring with absolutely no room for anything new. So far, as long as I've asked my worship team or session first before I try something too crazy, most of the time people are ok with it (and of course I have the back-up of my session members!) Usually, as long as I tell them that we can just try it for a while and if it is just too horrible, we'll change it back.
Anyway, today my curmudgeon sent me an email with a link to 'youtube' (I told you this guy was hip with the techy stuff!) with the traditional music to the doxology (Old Hundredth) explaing that he prefers this tune. (We've been using the traditional words to the Tallis Canon tune lately-but I switch it up a few times a year.) I explained that I've been using the traditional tune on communion Sundays for people who feel that way that he does, so he can hear it at least once a month. Then he sent back another telling me he doesn't like all the political correctness or 'dumbing down' of scripture. I explained that what he calls political correctness I call inclusiveness. I don't think 'fishers of people' has quite the same poetic ring as 'fishers of men,' but that doesn't mean that I think women should be excluded. I laid it on the line and flat out said I dislike the KVJ because of its egregious translation errors and sexist language, going on to explain that while those were products of its time since they didn't have the scholarship or equality that we have now, I don't understand why people still insist on its use. I said a few more pastoral things about language barriers and modern understandings and trying to use words that appealed across generations, etc. I also thanked him for engaging me in these conversations, giving me his perspective and such. So far, no response. I'm anxiously awaiting it though, to be honest. This is the most I've gotten out of him thus far. I love my curmudgeon!
Like I said, he doesn't talk much, but he's one of the few old folks in the church who uses email pretty well. So he'll send me a message, and again, it's usually a complaint couched in a 'suggestion.' He'd prefer worship using the KJV and no hymns written before 1900 (not said quite so overtly, but I got the hint). Ok, so that's not really my style, though I've tried not to go too radical for this church. They like traditional. I'm fine with that as long as it doesn't end up mind-numbingly boring with absolutely no room for anything new. So far, as long as I've asked my worship team or session first before I try something too crazy, most of the time people are ok with it (and of course I have the back-up of my session members!) Usually, as long as I tell them that we can just try it for a while and if it is just too horrible, we'll change it back.
Anyway, today my curmudgeon sent me an email with a link to 'youtube' (I told you this guy was hip with the techy stuff!) with the traditional music to the doxology (Old Hundredth) explaing that he prefers this tune. (We've been using the traditional words to the Tallis Canon tune lately-but I switch it up a few times a year.) I explained that I've been using the traditional tune on communion Sundays for people who feel that way that he does, so he can hear it at least once a month. Then he sent back another telling me he doesn't like all the political correctness or 'dumbing down' of scripture. I explained that what he calls political correctness I call inclusiveness. I don't think 'fishers of people' has quite the same poetic ring as 'fishers of men,' but that doesn't mean that I think women should be excluded. I laid it on the line and flat out said I dislike the KVJ because of its egregious translation errors and sexist language, going on to explain that while those were products of its time since they didn't have the scholarship or equality that we have now, I don't understand why people still insist on its use. I said a few more pastoral things about language barriers and modern understandings and trying to use words that appealed across generations, etc. I also thanked him for engaging me in these conversations, giving me his perspective and such. So far, no response. I'm anxiously awaiting it though, to be honest. This is the most I've gotten out of him thus far. I love my curmudgeon!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Truly amazing
I can't believe that the end of this month is my 1 year anniversary here at SPC. Within the last year (in no particular order) I've 1) been ordained, 2) celebrated 7 years of marriage, 3) officiated over my first communion service, 4) confirmed my first teens, 4) ordained my first class of elders and deacons, 5) moderated my first session meeting, 6) voted in my first presbytery meeting (never was an elder commissioner), 7) dealt with a tornado and its aftermath (for my own home and my community), 8) begun carrying a new life to add to our family, 9) mourned the death of our beloved kitty Shove, 10) given a home to our kitten, Starbuck, 11) memorized the flight schedule for Southwest airlines from here my parents' city.
There's far more I could add. I've done lots of growing and learning. I feel I've really come far in owning my authority and identity as a pastor (especially a pregnant pastor in a presbytery where I could truly count on one hand the number of other ministers (mostly associates) who are women of childbearing age--most are men over 45 and many are much older).
So, lots going on. I still feel like there is so much good that this church and I can do together in the name of our Lord.
Here's to another great year!
There's far more I could add. I've done lots of growing and learning. I feel I've really come far in owning my authority and identity as a pastor (especially a pregnant pastor in a presbytery where I could truly count on one hand the number of other ministers (mostly associates) who are women of childbearing age--most are men over 45 and many are much older).
So, lots going on. I still feel like there is so much good that this church and I can do together in the name of our Lord.
Here's to another great year!
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Things that fit... and things that don't
Right now, things at church are fitting pretty good. We're getting started for stewardship season. No 'official' campaign strategy, but we're going for a celebration of gifts theme, sorta. I'm leaning towards doing a faith pledging strategy I think that would appeal to the seemingly intensely private attitude people have towards money in our church. I just need to take this to the stewardship/finance chair and pitch the idea and see how it goes over. We shall see--not that I have any reason to think it wouldn't go over.
On the other hand, clothes that were well-fitted before are starting to get just a bit tight. My favorite black pants are not going to be wearable much longer. I feel like I should be more excited, since it means things are going along well, but I will miss all my favorite outfits and, no matter what, I can't help but just feel fat some days. But I did go ahead and dig out the old maternity stuff from almost 5 years ago now, some of which I never wore since I wasn't the right size in the right season. I washed and folded it all. Some went in the drawers, some in the closet. Some I didn't even remember I had. I won't wear most of it for probably another month or so, but it needed to be done while I could still climb around in the attic fairly easily. I did realize that I'm going to need to find some pajamas. P would get a little testy if I stretched out all his favorite flannel pants. Just sayin'.
On the other hand, clothes that were well-fitted before are starting to get just a bit tight. My favorite black pants are not going to be wearable much longer. I feel like I should be more excited, since it means things are going along well, but I will miss all my favorite outfits and, no matter what, I can't help but just feel fat some days. But I did go ahead and dig out the old maternity stuff from almost 5 years ago now, some of which I never wore since I wasn't the right size in the right season. I washed and folded it all. Some went in the drawers, some in the closet. Some I didn't even remember I had. I won't wear most of it for probably another month or so, but it needed to be done while I could still climb around in the attic fairly easily. I did realize that I'm going to need to find some pajamas. P would get a little testy if I stretched out all his favorite flannel pants. Just sayin'.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Pieces of Peace
Right now I have my iPod filled with music that brings me a sense of peace. (Mostly. There's still some Bon Jovi for the times I need energy too.) But peace seems to be a rare commodity these days. So much going on at church. The sad thing is, music in worship used to be so renewing for me. But in this congregation, it pretty much is just sad, sad, sad. The people in the congregation don't sing with any enthusiasm whatsoever. The choir is about four people on average. They rarely sing anthems. Harmony is touch and go. The men? Well, when there are any, let's just say they make a joyful noise, bless their sweet little hearts.
I'm actually thinking about suggesting that we occassionally used recorded music for certain times of the year. Maybe around Christmas we'll see how it goes over.
It's so funny though. When I was talking about doing the Lessons and Carols service for Christmas Eve, some people on the session were just amazed that the choir didn't want to do a big cantata for that service. Hello!! Are you in worship? There are four people, maybe six in the choir. None of whom are, shall we say, particularly gifted in their voices. It was actually the choir director who had suggested the lessons and carols service anyway, since she agrees that while they are dedicated, the usual suspects in the choir aren't strong enough vocally to do anything that large. Now if I could just convince the congregation that singing should be a joyful part of worship.
So, for now, I content myself with Robert Shaw or the Cambridge Singers. Little pieces of peace that invade the busyness of my day.
I'm actually thinking about suggesting that we occassionally used recorded music for certain times of the year. Maybe around Christmas we'll see how it goes over.
It's so funny though. When I was talking about doing the Lessons and Carols service for Christmas Eve, some people on the session were just amazed that the choir didn't want to do a big cantata for that service. Hello!! Are you in worship? There are four people, maybe six in the choir. None of whom are, shall we say, particularly gifted in their voices. It was actually the choir director who had suggested the lessons and carols service anyway, since she agrees that while they are dedicated, the usual suspects in the choir aren't strong enough vocally to do anything that large. Now if I could just convince the congregation that singing should be a joyful part of worship.
So, for now, I content myself with Robert Shaw or the Cambridge Singers. Little pieces of peace that invade the busyness of my day.
Monday, September 15, 2008
I guess it's time
This is the week I will be telling my session that they are going to have to start thinking about a maternity leave policy for me. I'm not terribly worried that they will freak, but maybe just a tiny little bit nervous, since no matter how you cut it, I'm gonna be out over Easter. I'm due the beginning of Holy Week. Oops. (Wasn't thinking that far ahead in the heat of the moment!) I don't think we'll get that far though. I think she'll make her appearance by the end of March. (FYI, I don't know if it's a girl, just hoping.)
We do have a woman who is working on her M.Div and who would certainly, I think, enjoy the chance to fill in for some or even all of that time, though we'd have to find an ordained person to come in to do communion.
I think people sort of expected this to happen sooner or later. They knew they were hiring a young woman with a young family who might want at least one more kid. We'd talked about that a little in my interviews. We'll just have to see if they panic about my leave time and being out over Holy Week and Easter. I'll have only been here about a year and 3 months by the time that swings around. Hopefully the new baby will quickly charm them into forgetting that part.
So around 7pm EST on Wed, say a quick prayer, k?
We do have a woman who is working on her M.Div and who would certainly, I think, enjoy the chance to fill in for some or even all of that time, though we'd have to find an ordained person to come in to do communion.
I think people sort of expected this to happen sooner or later. They knew they were hiring a young woman with a young family who might want at least one more kid. We'd talked about that a little in my interviews. We'll just have to see if they panic about my leave time and being out over Holy Week and Easter. I'll have only been here about a year and 3 months by the time that swings around. Hopefully the new baby will quickly charm them into forgetting that part.
So around 7pm EST on Wed, say a quick prayer, k?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Apology NOT accepted
I was attending a meeting at our Presbytery office today with several other pastors from our quadrant to learn some things about what our Exec had discovered on his learning sabbatical. It was some pretty interesting stuff, not sure it will apply to our church, but I'm willing to learn more.
Anyway, there were 5 of us total and 2 of us were women. Both of us are moms. The other lady pastor is a few years older than me, and she's been in ministry about 8 years to my 1, but I've got a year on her of being a mom. Anyway, fairly close to the end of the meeting, she gets a note from the presbytery secretary that says her son has thrown up and she needs to come back and pick him up from child care. So what does she do? She apologizes profusely for having to leave early!! I'm like, sister, your kid is sick!! You don't apologize for being his mother or for taking care of him! I flat out told her, "M! Stop! Do not apologize to us! You have nothing to be sorry for. He's sick, he needs you. Get out of here!"
Please ladies--all of you who are moms and ministers (or any other kind of professional, really). Do not ever apologize for being a parent. (Same goes for dads too, of course, but they are much less likely to overdo the guilt I've noticed.) I think it helps me that I was a mom for three years before I got into the ministry. She comes first, always. I feel no guilt about this and I was upfront about this with my PNC, and they were all very supportive of that, many of them parents themselves.
So again I say, Sister! Don't apologize for being a good parent. Just stand up, look 'em in the eye and say, "You'll have to excuse me. I have a sick child to attend to." Thank the host and just leave! Be bold!
Anyway, there were 5 of us total and 2 of us were women. Both of us are moms. The other lady pastor is a few years older than me, and she's been in ministry about 8 years to my 1, but I've got a year on her of being a mom. Anyway, fairly close to the end of the meeting, she gets a note from the presbytery secretary that says her son has thrown up and she needs to come back and pick him up from child care. So what does she do? She apologizes profusely for having to leave early!! I'm like, sister, your kid is sick!! You don't apologize for being his mother or for taking care of him! I flat out told her, "M! Stop! Do not apologize to us! You have nothing to be sorry for. He's sick, he needs you. Get out of here!"
Please ladies--all of you who are moms and ministers (or any other kind of professional, really). Do not ever apologize for being a parent. (Same goes for dads too, of course, but they are much less likely to overdo the guilt I've noticed.) I think it helps me that I was a mom for three years before I got into the ministry. She comes first, always. I feel no guilt about this and I was upfront about this with my PNC, and they were all very supportive of that, many of them parents themselves.
So again I say, Sister! Don't apologize for being a good parent. Just stand up, look 'em in the eye and say, "You'll have to excuse me. I have a sick child to attend to." Thank the host and just leave! Be bold!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
When VBS is lame...
Last week was VBS week. I've never seen one quite like this. They have a lesson for the adults too. Is that common where you're from? I've never been to a VBS that did beyond 6th or maybe 8th grade.
Let me tell you that the adult material from this highly respected company was hands down the worst lesson material I've ever seen! It was written at a high school level (yes, it was the adult curriculum, I checked) and the author told little stories of her trips down memory lane and would occasionally thrown in a question like, "what memories does this story invoke for you?" She even had activities (for adults!) like soaking cotton balls in different liquids like alcohol, ammonia, coffee, etc., and putting them in film canisters and asking people to sniff and see what memories were evoked.
So the poor Episcopal rector and I were pretty much stuck making things up as we went along. IT went ok, but I don't think it was as good as it could have been with better curriculum to point us in the right direction.
I was also pretty disappointed in the music for the kids. I've heard some pretty good VBS music in my day, this was not one of those years. This really surprises me since, like I said, this is a well know company who's been putting out VBS material for years.
Since we work VBS out with two other churches in our town, I'm not in on picking the curriculum, but for next year, I'm going to encourage our representative to look a little deeper into the material rather than picking it because the theme was cute.
Here's hoping.
Let me tell you that the adult material from this highly respected company was hands down the worst lesson material I've ever seen! It was written at a high school level (yes, it was the adult curriculum, I checked) and the author told little stories of her trips down memory lane and would occasionally thrown in a question like, "what memories does this story invoke for you?" She even had activities (for adults!) like soaking cotton balls in different liquids like alcohol, ammonia, coffee, etc., and putting them in film canisters and asking people to sniff and see what memories were evoked.
So the poor Episcopal rector and I were pretty much stuck making things up as we went along. IT went ok, but I don't think it was as good as it could have been with better curriculum to point us in the right direction.
I was also pretty disappointed in the music for the kids. I've heard some pretty good VBS music in my day, this was not one of those years. This really surprises me since, like I said, this is a well know company who's been putting out VBS material for years.
Since we work VBS out with two other churches in our town, I'm not in on picking the curriculum, but for next year, I'm going to encourage our representative to look a little deeper into the material rather than picking it because the theme was cute.
Here's hoping.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Church: Unfiltered
I keep getting this image of church and the gospel being run through a Brita filter. Like we take out all the nasty tasting stuff until it tastes really good going down, making it easier to swallow.
I've been in a number of small churches around the country over my life and the ones that were dwindling in membership seemed to have one thing in common. They were too 'nice.' They didn't want to hold people accountable to the gospel, they didn't want to ask people to do hard things in the name of Jesus. They were incredibly apologetic. They were "sorry to ask," but could so-and-so do such-and-such for the church. We're always sorry as though church itself has become a burden to people. As though it's importance is less than that of family and work and hobbies. It makes me want to scream! In fact, I think I will...
STOP BEING SORRY!!!
Thanks for letting me get that out. On with the tirade...
Jesus was never sorry for telling people the hard truth. Why should we be? Why do we think we need to apologize for asking people to serve and to give? We had to pull teeth to find people to be on this year's officer slate. Why is service Christ and the church such a burden? Where are our priorities? And why am I the only one in my church asking these questions? Why aren't our leaders calling people to task? Some of my committee chairs have no committees because they are so worried that they will overburden someone or offend them somehow by asking them to take on something else, even in the name of Christ.
Are we Christians or what? If we can't even find time to serve, how can we claim that title? Sitting on our butts for an hour once a week is not all there is to being Christian. Yes, worship is a part of it, but so is service, so is study, so is making disciples. We can't choose one over the others.
If we filter what the gospel says, it's not the gospel anymore. Jesus comes not to bring peace, but the sword. That's hard to swallow. That doesn't taste good to our 21st century, status-quo tongues. Let's just drink our filtered water. We're sorry about that Jesus guy. He kind of embarrasses us middle-class, middle Americans. Jesus can be down right tacky at times. And we don't want our children to hang around tacky people, much less follow them around and emulate them, use them as role models. We're sorry Jesus asks you to give your money to the poor rather than spend it on a new fishing boat. We're sorry that the church needs your help and your time to serve Christ as we've been called to do. We're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry.
I'm hoping I can encourage our church's leaders to call people to task. They need to get out there, hold members accountable. Don't be sorry for asking for help, or for making people uphold their baptismal vows, or for helping them to fulfill the Great Commission.
So I have officer training this weekend. Can you guess what we'll be talking about?
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Long time, no post
I didn't realize that my last post had been the day of the infamous happening. I suppose I've wanted to post a few times about that, but it would be a little bit too telling for what is supposed to be a rather anonymous blog. We've recovered well from said happening; life is returning to whatever passes for normal in our house.
I've been neck-deep in confirmation the past several weeks. We do not have the time or resources to do a year long study, so we have developed our own curriculum to do in 10-12 weeks. It's a small group of kids, so this works pretty well. We meet for two hours each week and they seem like they are getting most of what we're teaching. Of course, there is plenty of repetition, they are only 13 after all.
P had a great b-day. I surprised him with a party at a friend's house. I even surprised him with his gift that I had convinced him he wasn't getting. (An electric guitar pedal--that he is super-de-duper psyched about, I might add.)
I'm starting a bible study group this week that I'm modeling after one I co-created in ATL. It only meets twice a month, Fri. evenings in a coffee shop. Aimed at my generation and a little older, though I'm getting a surprising # of my retirees saying they want to come. Cool!! It is going to focus on faith and culture. We'll be using a lot of the "Thoughtful Christian" material and some of the other shorter studies that focus on faith as it relates to our world, politics, media, etc. So I guess it's not technically a Bible study, it'll be more of a faith study. I'm excited to get it started. It's the sort of things that feeds my faith too, so even though I'm leading (at least the first one) I will still be able to renew my spirit.
I've been neck-deep in confirmation the past several weeks. We do not have the time or resources to do a year long study, so we have developed our own curriculum to do in 10-12 weeks. It's a small group of kids, so this works pretty well. We meet for two hours each week and they seem like they are getting most of what we're teaching. Of course, there is plenty of repetition, they are only 13 after all.
P had a great b-day. I surprised him with a party at a friend's house. I even surprised him with his gift that I had convinced him he wasn't getting. (An electric guitar pedal--that he is super-de-duper psyched about, I might add.)
I'm starting a bible study group this week that I'm modeling after one I co-created in ATL. It only meets twice a month, Fri. evenings in a coffee shop. Aimed at my generation and a little older, though I'm getting a surprising # of my retirees saying they want to come. Cool!! It is going to focus on faith and culture. We'll be using a lot of the "Thoughtful Christian" material and some of the other shorter studies that focus on faith as it relates to our world, politics, media, etc. So I guess it's not technically a Bible study, it'll be more of a faith study. I'm excited to get it started. It's the sort of things that feeds my faith too, so even though I'm leading (at least the first one) I will still be able to renew my spirit.
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