Jinxed

I'm sure I cursed myself the other day when I told someone that, with 4 in '09, surely we would be death/funeral free for at least the first half of 2010. While none of my congregation is appearing to be in eminent danger of passing, the grandfather of one of our members died over the weekend and I was asked to do the service. It won't be at the church as neither the member's parents or grandparents were religiously affiliated, but I had helped with the father's sudden passing in the summer and so was asked to come be with the family again. They've had a lot to deal with in the past 6 or 7 months. I worry that the grandmother isn't far behind either. I suppose the 'good' news is that the grandparents are both in poor health and it was not completely unexpected. I think that helps in some small way.
Personally, I like funerals. You really get to know people. The facades fade or crumble and people share their stories and memories. They are, however, quite emotionally exhausting for everyone, including the minister. But more than any other time in my ministry, I am brought up short by just how amazing and even palpable God's grace is during these difficult times. TBTG!

following my own advice

I preach--not just from the pulpit--every Advent about not letting the hustle and bustle of preparing our homes for the coming of Christmas supersede the preparation of our hearts for the coming of Christ. And while I can't be accused of that (our decorations consist of a garland with the stockings and a 4.5 ft. tree with lights and a few ornaments) I can be accused of trying so hard to have the services be perfect that I neglect my own devotions and time for myself to pray and just be still and know...
I have a hard time balancing what I want to do with what I have to do and what needs to be done. Bake cookies for my friends, no problem--that's fun! Take the donated coats to the neighbor church, who wants to do that? (Hint: not me)

out of focus

It's amazing sometimes, the way that ministry can be viewed so differently by different people. I meet regularly with a newly formed pastor-parish relations team, a team created to help there be better communications between myself and the people in the pews, so to speak. Supposedly it is to avoid triangulation and to pass on difficulties that people don't feel they can voice in person. So, if you've already figured out that it has become a "pick on the pastor" team, you'd be right. So far, I've been told all the things I'm doing wrong, and not a single word of what I do well (and I'm sure there must be something I'm doing well!)
But what it comes out of is differing views of what a pastor should be doing. This group feels that my ministry should be primarily inward focused--HUGE amounts of pastoral care and visitation. They had a single older gentleman pastor several years ago who focused ALL his attention on the church people. "So we've come to expect that level of care from our pastors. In other words, "because we've always done it that way." Not that I don't provide PC & V. Hospital visits, shut-in and nursing home visits, calls when folks are gone for a few weeks w/out notice, calls when we have new visitors, calls when the deacons share a need, etc. I'm there!
But questions like, "do you keep a log of visits and calls? do you turn it in to anyone?" um, no and no. Am I getting a grade on this? I got the impression that they literally wanted me to go down the directory list (maybe as often as once a month!) and call every person just to say "hi!" 'Course, I assume they also want me to continue to preach, teach, and outreach.
There's the kicker--time. I ain't got that much. I realize that they have never had a young pastor with a young family. Previous pastors who made phone calls at 7 or 8 at night didn't have kids to bathe and get in bed.
So really, what's going to happen is I'm going to have to hold a "come to Jesus meeting" with this committee and hash out where I need to focus my energy. Right now, it's outward--and good things are happening in this church! There is more energy, new members are coming to join us, people are excited about ministry again. So as I type that, I wonder if some of this visitation crap isn't somewhat about fear of change. Make the pastor care for us and maybe the new people will drift off or not come at all. Hmm, something to think about.

nothing half way

Well, I tell you, as if planning for maternity leave wasn't enough, I'm now being asked to be a supervisor for an internship (I assume it's over the summer) as soon as I return from leave. It's a member of our church and she also works full time so it ought to be interesting trying to squeeze in the hours required for the internship. We'll make it work though. She has a true sense of calling, I know. I want to do it, don't get me wrong. It's just another thing to think about. I have had a VERY full first year and a half in the ministry!

Home Sweet Home

We finally got an offer accepted on a house. Not the one I originally posted about though. That fell through for some reason having to do with it being a "flipped" house and the fact that no one will finance those right now. So, we found one that we like even better. It's a little bigger, has a fenced yard and the attic is ready to be insulated and drywalled and made into P's "man cave." He's so excited to have that project. He's been telling me all the things he's going to do up there. It's good too, because that means we can use the third bedroom as an actual guest room. He can go up there and play his guitar and not bother us downstairs.
I can't wait to have a garden again. I start drooling just thinking of the tomatoes I'll get to have the end of this summer.
We close the end of this month, so by April, we'll be homeowners. The dog will have a yard to play in and L will have her own room again. We also live two doors down from the playground that is on our cul-de-sac. It's a nice, quiet side street, about half a mile from L's pediatrician, just down the road from the hospital. The neighborhood is just across the highway from the YMCA, a great local coffee shop, and the area is being built up left and right. And it's also a good 15-20 minutes closer to my office and L's preschool. Can you tell I'm excited?!
Ok, gotta get back after it. Let's see, Holy Week, Easter, Confirmation, Spiritual Gifts workshops... yep, they're all still waiting in various stages of undoneness.

Putting my foot down

After agonizing over how in the fireplace I was gonna cram confirmation into 8 weeks, I finally called up my Ch. Ed. chair and said, "No way. It ain't gonna happen. Give me 12 weeks at the least." So I got 12 weeks, even without a fight--he actually agreed that this worked better after I explained what we'd have to miss and skim over if we tried to do it in 8. I feel better now. It isn't the best scenario, but it beats 8 weeks by a lot. 12 weeks I think I can do. If anybody has any great suggestions for curriculum or things to do with middle schoolers-please send them my way. Working with Jr. High kids is NOT my gift.

confirmation

I am spending my last remaining hours of total quiet trying to get down an outline for the confirmation class that I was told I would be leading after Easter. (didja catch how I was told that's when I would be doing it, rather than asked when it would be a good time for me?) Course, I was also told that in order to keep things from conflicting with finals and summer vacations, etc., I would have 8 weeks to do it. 8 weeks!! I can't imagine how we're going to get into all of the important things in 8 weeks. We'll barely skim the surface! Yikes!
Ok, well, that being said. I'm trying to figure out what is most important and how to work it all in. Now, working with middle schoolers is not my forte, but our Christian Ed. team decided that I needed to be in on this. At least my committee chair is also a parent and will be helping out with this endeavor. It will be an adventure!
Right? (crickets chirping.......)

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down

I actually got my liturgy for Ash Wed. done today (two days ahead-gasp!) I'm going to burn some palm-like grass that grows behind our apartment since I guess no one saved the palms from last year. No big. If I get desperate, there's always old hymnals laying around (inside joke). I'm just hoping that someone besides me and P show up. I don't have a congregation that is much for showing up outside of Sunday mornings. Gotta work on that. Maybe they just haven't been inspired? Dunno.
I did have coffee with our realtor today. He had a much bigger list of prospects than I expected, so I'm going to weed through them and maybe even go look at a few on Friday. Wow! This is moving fast now. Petty exciting.
I find myself now a mentor to an inquirer for ministry. She is a second career and taking all her classes online right now. I'm curious to see how that will work out. I look forward to guiding her through the process and hopefully helping to make it a good deal smoother than mine was.
Got a stack of new books in the mail today from Upper Room press. Can't wait to dig in. A couple are for my inquirer, though I wanted to read them before getting her a copy. I don't like to give away books that I haven't read, even if they come recommended to me from someone else.
Hope everyone has party plans for Mardi Gras. In honor of my Louisiana childhood I say, "Laissez les bons temps rouler!"

Should I be nervous?

Everyone keeps telling me not to be nervous about my first Sunday, etc. I'm not. Should I be? I suppose if I were fresh out of seminary without a lifetime of being a PK behind me, I might be, but my sermon is good, I've got a good liturgist helping out, I've been working in a church, even though not as a pastor, for the past three years-I feel good about everything at this point. Worship planning is one thing that just doesn't get to me. I actually enjoy that part.
I know that things will get crazier as we approach Christmas and my ordination, but I have L in preschool now, so I don't have to worry about her and that will give me some peace of mind. I even have some old sermons to draw on so I don't have to come up with all new ones. The church seems to already have all their Advent/Christmas events planned out. (Not to my liking, but that's another story and not something I can really change at this late date.)
I'll let you know how it goes!

The Brighter Side

I had a conference call with my CPM on Tues. It's funny, I've been offering for the last 3 years to do the conference call thing, but this is the first time they've gotten around to it. Actually, it's the first time they've gotten around to any contact beyond the mass emails to ask if people are coming to the annual retreat for inquirers and candidates. I so don't feel like a candidate any more. I feel like now that I'm certified ready to receive a call, I don't really need someone looking over my shoulder. Well, that's just me. Anyway, I kinda got lost in the shuffle and they've pretty much left me alone for the past 3 or 4 years. It's been nice. I didn't really have the best relationship with the CPM when I was first an inquirer. There was an unusually disproportionate number of lay people on the committee. Their ideas of how to guide a pastor were to make sure s/he had read the entire Bible cover to cover (in order, like it was a novel), had memorized Robert's rules, and would disavow ordination of homosexuals. So, I really didn't get along with them so much. A couple of the pastors on the committee knew my father (yeah, I'm a PK) and didn't like his views on some things as well, so I got it hard from them too. Here's an example of a question I got at an annual review. "What's your favorite Bible verse?" Umm, I have to pick just one? There's a whole bunch to choose from and I'm not too good with decisions. The funny thing is, I had my study bible right in front of me. In it, I use yellow sticky notes to mark verses I like or that I think I would use frequently as prayers, calls, benedictions, whatever. There were dozens of them sticking out the top! And they wanted to know my favorite. That and I have never been one to memorize chapter and verse. It's just not my thing. Hence, the sticky notes. I know a few key verses (John 3:16, anyone?), but relatively few compared to the Bible-thumping evangelicals I know who have a verse for any occasion.
Anyway, this call was actually pleasant since only two of the committee members showed up for the meeting. Lucky me! They were nice and pleasant to speak with and seemed genuinely glad for me to have some possibilities for employment. Of course, somebody fell down on the job and forgot to mention (4 years ago) that they needed a final transcript from Seminary of the South. I know I forget things, but I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered if they told me that they were gonna need that to release me for a job. And especially since I did actually have a couple of possibilities that fell through right after graduation. They coulda told me then. Now I have to call up SS and get them to ready a transcript. I also need to find out where the committee wants me to mail the darn thing. (Presbytery office, committee chair's house or office, corresponding sec's home or office?) If they'd told me they needed it four years ago, I coulda just walked across the quad to the registrar's office. So much easier.
Ah, getting to that brighter side I mentioned in the title... P comes home tomorrow after an 11 day absence in the name of work. Now, I'm not complaining about the big, fat overtime check we'll get, especially since my Jeep needs a new transmission. However, 11 days straight is a dern long time to be away from home, especially for a little one who misses her Daddy's night-night kisses. Actually, I kinda miss them too. He was s'posed to be home tonight, but they were short-handed and made him stay the extra day. And he's also going away this weekend to go hiking with a college buddy who's having his first kid in June so this is kinda his last fling as a non-dad. It will be nice to have things back into a somewhat normal routine around here next week.