Sunday, January 06, 2008

Incomplete

You know how things are when your life is just out of balance? That's how it's been around here. See, if you're keeping up with things, you know that P is down in Huge Southern City and we're up here in a whole other state. And it's not that things are going bad per se, but they're just a little out of whack.
My theory is that it's because 1) our family is not all together, 2) we're not surrounded by our familiar things (they're all in storage until we find a house), 3) we are in limbo with P's finding a job, causing at least some anxiety, 4) our routines are completely, entirely new and still a little unfamiliar to our bodies, 5) we are with unfamiliar people in unfamiliar places doing unfamiliar things.
All of these things and more sort of tie together, causing a circular pattern of distress to our minds and bodies. I can't speak to the mind of L, but she's more clingy, she's wanting me to do simple things for her that she's done on her own plenty of times before, and there are other signs that only a mom would notice.
Of course, there are the physical illnesses we've contended with. With her first foray into preschool, she came home with a terrible cold, double conjunctivitis and a double ear infection-taking not less than 2 antibiotic shots and an oral medication to clear up-after the doctor assures me that she doesn't give antibiotics unless it's seriously needed. I guess it was pretty serious.
Me, well, other than sharing the horrendous cold and then catching the pink eye, well, I just seem sluggish. I feel in a perpetual fog. Lack of sleep is part of it, a big part. Some of it is getting used to a new job and a new schedule. I'm sure there are other factors that, being somewhat foggy, I'm not thinking of at the moment.
Our bodies are just out of whack. Tummies seems to be cranky a little more I've noticed, for us both. I'm perpetually stuffy and headache-y and will probably have to suck it up and go find an allergist soon.
Even the animals seem off. I know they don't like P being gone. The dog especially. She does naughty things on the carpet that let me know this. Not in the last couple of days though, knock on wood. The cats well, they are just a little more needy, if that's possible.
Now you may be saying, but R, you said things weren't so bad, and that sounds bad indeed! It's not really, it's tough, especially without P to take some of the slack with L, but I love the church people I'm working with, and they've been wonderful to us both. I like the area we're in; I like the preschool L is in; I even like both the pediatrician and family doctor I had to find on short notice. I just can't wait for things to come back into alignment. P here, job secured, home moved into, stuff unpacked, child well, sleep adjusted. I'm just sure that things will be better when things are the way they should be as far as us being together as a family and being surrounded by our familiar and beloved belongings in a place that is our own.

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